The Virtual Couch

The Virtual Couch


Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don’t Manage You by Ethan Kross - Virtual Couch Book Club w/Marla Christiansen, APCC

June 03, 2025

Marla Christensen, AMFT, APCC, and Tony Overbay, LMFT, delve into Ethan Kross's "Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don't Manage You" for another installment of the "Virtual Couch Book Club." They explore emotional awareness, sensory shifts, and cultural influences on emotional well-being. Practical techniques, such as distant self-talk and the Whoop framework (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan), are covered, offering listeners actionable strategies for emotional management. Tony opens the episode by explaining how common parental phrases, such as "it's not a big deal" or "just don't worry about it," can unintentionally hinder emotional expression in adulthood, setting the stage for struggles with managing emotions later in life. This discussion offers valuable insights for individuals seeking to understand better and manage their emotions.


00:00 A Touching Parenting Moment

02:22 Introduction to the Virtual Couch

02:31 Book Club: Managing Emotions

03:16 The Importance of Emotional Awareness

03:37 Understanding Emotional Language

04:44 The Disconnect from Emotions

06:01 Introducing Dr. Ethan Cross's 'Shift'

06:23 Meet Marla Christiansen

07:33 Exploring Emotional Concepts from 'Shift'

07:46 The Complexity of Emotions

08:05 Practical Tools for Emotional Management

08:20 The Power of Distanced Self-Talk

08:37 External Influences on Emotions

09:02 Body Awareness and Emotions

09:12 Navigating Difficult Emotions

09:24 Impact of Social Media and Cultural Factors

09:37 Appreciating Emotions as Information

10:18 Book Club Discussion: 'Shift' by Dr. Ethan Cross

10:30 Starting the Interview with Marla Christensen

11:24 Diving into Emotional Regulation

11:43 Book Club Insights and Personal Reflections

22:58 The Law of Least Work

25:01 Exploring Low-Cost Emotional Shifts

25:40 Understanding Attention and Perspective

26:10 Navigating Emotional Avoidance and Approach

27:27 The Power of Reframing

29:29 Distanced Self-Talk: A Unique Approach

31:07 Shifting Emotions Through Environment

33:44 The Role of Relationships in Emotional Shifts

37:24 Cultural Influences on Emotions

39:37 The Impact of Comparison

42:37 Practical Tools for Emotional Mastery

44:06 Final Thoughts and Resources