The Virtual Couch

The Virtual Couch


Pick Me Behaviors, Emotional Immaturity, and the Cost of Not Knowing Yourself: Is True Honesty in Relationships Possible? Tony and Mackie Overbay Live QA

May 06, 2025

Do you avoid difficult conversations, hoping problems will magically disappear? Do you convince yourself you don’t need to write things down, because of course you’ll remember later? Or maybe you catch yourself trying to be everything to everyone… and slowly losing yourself in the process?


Join Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Tony Overbay and his daughter Mackie, a licensed esthetician, and cosmetologist, and host of the podcast “The Mind, the Mirror, and Me,” for a lively and insightful live Q&A. Together, they explore the sneaky ways magical thinking and emotional immaturity show up in our lives and relationships. From assuming people should “just know” what we want, to struggling with overthinking and honesty in relationships, this conversation dives deep (with plenty of humor and personal stories along the way).


You’ll also hear about:



  • What “pick me” behavior really means and how it impacts relationships

  • How magical thinking keeps us stuck (and how to move forward)

  • Navigating diagnoses like borderline personality disorder and emotional immaturity

  • Why honesty in relationships isn’t as simple as “just say it”

  • Handling complicated family dynamics — including emotionally absent grandparents

  • Tools like mindfulness and ACT-based techniques to help you change your relationship with your thoughts

Whether you're a therapist, a parent, or simply curious about emotional growth, this honest and relatable episode will leave you thinking differently about how you show up for yourself and others.


00:00 Introduction and Technical Difficulties

00:19 Foot Talk and Live Stream Banter

01:11 Licensed Therapist Q&A Begins

01:21 Understanding Narcissistic Traits

02:06 Exploring the 'Pick Me' Phenomenon

03:20 Therapy Insights: Finding Your True Self

05:40 Addressing Borderline Personality Disorder

14:05 Magical Thinking and Emotional Immaturity

26:08 Mindfulness and Thought Observation Techniques

27:02 The Concept of Changing Relationship with Thoughts

27:32 Discussion on Honesty in Relationships

31:16 Handling Family Dynamics and Expectations

33:54 Understanding Bipolar Disorder vs. Anger Issues

37:43 The Role of Thoughts, Behaviors, and Feelings

46:03 Freudian Theories and Emotional Maturity

50:39 Final Thoughts and Viewer Questions