When I was little, my dad taught me how to read a map. We were on our way to Orlando for the ninth time and it was my duty to ride next to him in the cockpit of our motorhome as we blazed down the highway to see the world’s most famous mouse. What he taught me was this, you have to know where you are going in order to plan your course to get there. The concept is easy to learn, but takes a lifetime to master; if we don't know where you are going then you can’t plan a course to get there.

When someone sets sail on the ocean, they have to know where they are going. They have a route charted for them to take and an idea of what it is going to take to get there. Someone who is making a large journey also knows that their ship cannot make it all the way without at least one supply stop, they know the ship needs to make frequent stops along the way to resupply and to give the sailors rest from the oceans tossing and turning. When a person sets out, they should know where they are going.

One thing that was mentioned in the sails blog post was that you have to know where you are going in order for you to make sure the wind is blowing the way that you want it to blow. You can’t make sure the wind is blowing the right way unless you talk about where the relation-ship is going. Just as you need the wind to blow the right way, you have to know that the ship is going in that direction. The destination is the most important part of any relation-ship; it is where the relation-ship is going.

 

Destinations 101

It is easier to think of destinations in the language of titles. If a person is a close friend, the destination of that relationship is a deep friendship. If the person is a co-worker, the destination is a Co-Workership.  Another way to think of the destination is what your relation will be to the other person. If you are a mentor then the relation-ship is a mentorship. If you are a son, then the relationship is a Sonship. The destinations that we set are the types of people we are going to be to one another.

            Destinations come in many shapes and sizes. A relationship can take you to great destinations around the world of communication and conversations. We travel at different speeds in each relation-ship as we make our way towards the destination we set and we become more of the person that we are to the other, as the other becomes more of who they are to us, the closer you get to your destination.

The most common destination you are at is that of Strangerhood. Every person that drives on the same road as you, rides the same bus as you, sits in the same train car that you do, drinks coffee in the same café that you sit in, shops in the same grocery store as you, or has a child in the same school is more than likely a stranger to you. You are docked at Strangership and you are likely not going to leave port anytime soon unless the direction of your relation-ship changes.

This reality does not mean that you are a terrible monster like it may sound, but it does mean that your relationship is docked at Strangerhood. The reality is this, Strangerships become other relationships because of this simple fact; we can and do change the destination of a relationship.

 

Setting a destination

Setting a destination can seem like a scary process, but it is something that we subconsciously do with every relationship that we are in, and in some rare cases, we do purposefully and openly. When you set a destination, you are defining the type of relationship that you are going to have with the other person or people. As you set out from the port of Strangership, you pick a place on the map of destinations that is where you want to end up with the other person.

When you want a stranger to become a friend, you have decided on the destination of friendship. It is that easy. By acknowledging that you want someone to be something oth...