Have you ever found yourself unable, no matter how hard you try, to communicate with someone to whom you wanted to know better or develop a relationship? Have you ever had someone try to tell you something important but you just didn’t understand what he or she was saying?

This is something that happens to all people, in all places. It’s something that has happened since Ug and She-Ug began flailing their arms in their cave so many years ago and it is still happening today. It is what I call The Two Language Problem and it is something that can kill a relationship and end all communication.

The Two Language Problem (TLP) does not only occur in romantic relationships, but can occur between friends, family members, co-workers, teachers and students. It can happen to anyone, and does happen to everyone one way or another.

Here it is. A CEO walks into the office where he works with 100 other individuals in all of their departments. He walks by the desks of all his employees, but he does not have a relationship with any of them that is meaningful. He knows their names, and they know his, but he doesn’t know anything about them and they don’t know him. So the CEO has an idea.      

 

COMPANY PICNIC!

 

The CEO sends out memos and posts announcements in the office cafeteria. He drafts emails in which he tells the employees how excited he is to get to know them better, and he has them delivered each week leading up to the company picnic. He even goes so far as to send IM’s to each employee asking if they are planning to attend. No one replies, but he still moves forward in faith that they will show up.

The day of the picnic arrives and there are banners and flyers that the CEO put up (or had someone else do for him) everywhere in the park and all of the employees have arrived. With a clap and a fly-like rub of the hands, the CEO begins to mill about his Employees, but in each circle his employees are speaking Swedish, and because he doesn’t speak Swedish he doesn’t know what to say so he remains quiet. Every time he joins a circle of employees, it slowly dissolves and the CEO is left standing alone, wondering why he feels so alone.

Now to be fair, the employees don’t really understand why the CEO is joining their circles or what they are saying. They normally are not required to speak English at the office, but Swedish is their native language and they understand it infinitely better than they do English, so it is what they speak amongst themselves (did I mention that this is an American CEO at the IKEA Headquarters in Sweden? Go with me for a bit here. You’ll see where I’m going.)

The CEO moves to a second circle, and this time he has learned his lesson. He’s going to speak up or else it will get awkward fast. He shouts “HELLO!” but no one responds. He shouts even more, “HOW ARE YA’LL LIKING THE PICNIC?” The employees yell back in Swedish, but it comes across as garbled nonsense to the American CEO. Both parties yell at each other and then the group explodes. The CEO storms away and is fuming. He joins a third circle.

The CEO has learned from his first circle experience, and his second experience. He learned that he has to talk or else no one will talk to him, and if no one talks then the group will fall apart. He has also learned that if he tries to speak his language and not the language of the other/s then they wont understand him. He also learned that if they don’t speak his language then he doesn’t stand a chance at holding a conversation. He does the only thing left to do; he tries to speak Swedish.

As he fumbles through a few of the phrases that he remembers from his culture training before leaving the states, he says some string of words that is translated to “How do you enjoying the bathrooms?” The Swedes look at each other with a sense of confusion and begin to laugh. The child of one of the Swedish employees turns to the CEO and replies in her broken English, “th