This is my journey to freedom. I had no idea God would take me down this path during my single season, but here I am. I crave freedom, and I know it's there for me. Now I have to walk this journey to obtain the freedom that's rightfully mine.

God Can Do It

I'm often asked, why I can't just let go? What's stopping me from being free? Honestly, I'm the reason I'm not free. I understand that God has already freed me, but it's hard to accept that freedom in my heart. Let me clarify. It’s not that I don’t believe God can do it, it’s that I don’t think He will do it through me. I know His will shall be accomplished but the fact that He chooses me to accomplish it boggles my mind. How do I accept the freedom He so generously gave me. He’s already set me free. How do I walk in that freedom? How do I just let go and let God? I just don’t know how to accept it.

Attempts at Freedom

So, I try hard to be the best at everything I do. This way, if I practice and do everything just right, then I won't have to worry about being free. With every attempt, freedom will just come right? So, I try my best to speak as eloquently as possible, to know His word, to pray better because that’s all I know how to do. I’m sure learning His word and praying is good but I still feel like there’s something deeper that I’m missing. There’s this one thing that if I can just grab hold of, all will make sense. Maybe it’s a trick of the enemy. But freedom still seems elusive. My attempts at chasing perfection make me feel even more bound. I know He’s set me free, but how do I receive it?

Head Knowledge

My head knows what He’s done, but my heart says not for me. And that’s ridiculous. Why not for me? Who am I that He would do it for everyone else and not for me? It’s just not true. So, why do I feel this way? Maybe I don’t know who I am in Christ? What’s my identity in Him? He’s told me so many things about myself. And I believe Him for most of the things He told me. My problem is a lack of faith that He’ll do it through me. Now I’m faced with the task of going deeper in Him to find out who I am. What good is anything else, if I’m not operating as He created me?

Freedom

The next step is to discover who I am in Him. Yes, I know all the things that apply to all of His children, but who am I uniquely? What talents and gifts did He give specifically to me so His will may be done? This is going to be a journey for sure. I’ll start where I know and go from there. God will reveal each step in time. Knowing that He still loves and calls me by name gives me hope that I will get everything He promised me, just not in the time I expected. I'm okay with that because I finally feel like I'm moving in the right direction. I'm moving toward freedom and it feels good.

This post was a little more transparent than most, so thank you for joining me on my journey to freedom through singleness,

Kim

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