Shepherding Talk
7 “Why’s” of Mentoring
“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.”
Ancient Chinese Proverb
In the Greek story, Odyssey, it was told that Odysseus, was setting out for war in Troy. He entrusted his house and the education of his son, Telemachus, to a friend named Mentor. Telemachus became the student and trainee of the man named Mentor.
Simply put, a mentor is a counselor, teacher and guide. We’ve had them in many ways in life. Parents and grandparents. School teachers. Coaches. Spiritual leaders. Managers. In the trades, there are many apprenticeship programs which is a mentoring process to learn a specific trade. This mentoring relationship is critical to our growth in any aspect of life. You are who you are today because of those who took you under their wings and shaped you into the person you are.
Mentoring is needed in any aspect of life. For the purposes of this article, I’m going to focus on the spiritual side of things. We need to ask the question, “Why is mentoring needed?”
#1 Because God commands it.
The point is basic and obvious, but you must see this. Have you thought about the fact that God is generationally minded? The Lord clearly is concerned about perpetuating His character and ways from generation to generation. And He knows this happens through the mentoring process.
The phase “Thou Shalt Mentor” is not found in Scripture, but here are commands you do see that directly relate to mentoring.
- Go therefore and make disciples…teaching them (Matthew 28:19-20).
- Commit (entrust) these things to faithful men so they can teach others also (2 Timothy 2:2).
- Show yourself a model of good works (Titus 2:7-8).
- Elders, be “examples to the flock” others will observe your conduct and follow you (1 Peter 5:1-4; Hebrews 13:7).
- Fathers train your children up in God’s ways (Ephesians 6:4).
- Older men and women are to “train” the younger generation (Titus 2:1-6, side point, this is what Paul calls in verse 1, “sound doctrine”).
Look at what Moses was told by God to do for Joshua.
“But charge Joshua, and encourage and strengthen him, for he shall go over at the head of this people, and he shall put them in possession of the land that you shall see.” (Deuteronomy 3:28).
Wow, it sure sounds like God is deeply concerned with mentoring! It sure sounds like God wants us to be actively engaged in shaping the next generation.
#2 You will not live forever.
“The former priests were many in number, because they were prevented by death from continuing in office” (Hebrews 7:23).
Please meditate on the wording of that passage you just read. There were many priests, but why? Because death stopped them from doing their job. Someone else had to take on the responsibility.
That’s the way of the world. You can’t change it. We die, someone else comes along and takes our place.
We see this throughout the Bible. A priest died, another took his office. The same with judges, prophets and kings. When King Saul died, David took his place. King David died, then Solomon became the next king. Elijah went to be with God, Elisha picked up the mantle of leadership and picked up where Elijah left off.
This was true for Moses, too. Although Moses tried to bargain with God and change his mind. Moses wanted so badly to be the one to take the people into the promised land. You may not know this, but God became angry with Moses for this. God said, “Moses, go up to the mountain, look at the promised land. Here’s what going to happen. Once you do that, you will die and Joshua will take your place. So mentor Joshua and encourage him” (Deuteronomy 3:23-28; Numbers 27:12-13).
What are God’s first words to Joshua in Joshua 1:2? “Moses my servant is dead.” Moses’ death left Israel in need of a new leader. Thanks to God’s heart for his people he trained Moses to train Joshua. Moses shepherded and mentored Joshua for 40 years. Only after that was Joshua was ready to take on the mantle of leadership.
Newsflash – One day you will not be here. Your death will by necessity require a successor. You will, like King David, “go the way of all the earth” (1 Kings 1). Whether or not we are prepared for it, it will happen. Whether or not I try to deny it or delay it, one day I will be pushing up the daisies.
Either we will work now to get people prepared for that day or our death will leave the people around us in chaos unprepared.
You know, Dave Ramsey says, “If you hate your family, die without a will.” I’ll add, if you hate your church, die without preparing the next generation.
#3 Things are better shown than told.
How do you really know love? Because God defined it for you? Because you read it in a book? No, because God demonstrated His love toward us (Romans 5:8). We love because He first loved us. He showed us how!
How did Jesus become a carpenter (Mark 6:3)? He was a carpenter’s son (Matthew 13:55).
How did the apostles know what true humble servant leadership looks like? Because Jesus had given them an example (John 13:12-17). Jesus specifically chose these men, handpicked them so that they might “be with him” (Mark 3:14), and his goal was for them to be just like him (Luke 6:40).
How did the Christians in Rome know how to follow Jesus? Because the elders, the shepherd leaders of the church set an example for them (1 Peter 5:1-4).
How did the Philippians know how to follow Jesus? Because Paul and others had set a pattern for them (Philippians 3:17-19). Look at how the Philippians were mentored by Paul “What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:9). He showed them, he didn’t just tell them.
Paul said it very succinctly: Imitate me as I imitate Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1).
We have to get it out of our language, out of our thinking that telling people is enough. I preached that. So what, Aaron, did you show them? I told my wife. Did you show her? I told my kids. Did you show them? I told the brethren. Did you show them? I told the deacons. Did you show them? I told the young people. Did you show them? I told those weak members. Did you show them?
#4 The great work is multiplied.
Many hands make light work – John Heywood.
Do you have an idea of how many Israelites were in the wilderness under Moses’ leadership? We can’t be for certain, but we do know that the men over 20 who could go to war numbered 603,550. That was not counting the Levites, women, children, disabled and elderly. We easily are talking millions of Israelites.
Next question. How many people were hearing complaints of those millions? One. Moses. All by himself.
Let’s dive into Exodus 18:13-26 and learn the lesson Moses learned on multiplying the workers. Here is the opening scene. The next day Moses sat to judge the people, and the people stood around Moses from morning till evening. What was Moses doing? All day long he answered people’s problems, from morning until evening. Just Moses. All day long. I’m tired just thinking about it.
Some wise person, however, was observing all of this and assessed the situation. It was Moses’ father-in-law, Jethro. After watching for awhile, Jethro asked Moses some questions. “What is this you are doing for the people? Why are you doing this all alone, and why does everyone stand around you?” In other words, what are you doing and why are you doing it?
Moses explained his actions by saying, “The people are coming to me to inquire of God, and when they come they have disputes, and I settle them and teach them God’s laws.” Did Moses have great motives? Yes. Was he doing this fully believing it was the right thing for him to do as a leader? Yes. Was he right? No!
What was Jethro’s diagnosis? He said, “What you are doing is not good. You and the people with you will certainly wear yourselves out. For the thing is too heavy for you. You are not able to do it alone.” It isn’t good for Moses or for the people. Think of the logistical nightmare of one man answering million’s of problems. Not to mention what that did for Moses on a physical and mental level. But this isn’t good for Israel, either. They will all get worn out. What about the culture of unhealthy dependency upon a single man? Moses simply cannot do this by himself. Millions of people…one Moses. This isn’t going to work.
Think of what happens to a preacher, a parent, a CEO, elder, etc. when they are carrying far more than their burden. Burnout. All kinds of diseases. And look at the culture created in those organizations, teams and families when too much is centered on one person or a select few. Not healthy.
Jethro’s solution: Know your job, Moses. Teach the people to do their job. Stay in your lane, Moses!
First of all, Moses has to understand that he has one main responsibility that no one in Israel but him can fill. Moses represents the people before God. He was Israel’s mediator. This was Moses’ primary job. Jethro is advising him to remember to focus on what God specifically called him to do.
Then notice Jethro’s advice on mentoring and delegation – Teach them…Place them…Let them. Teach them and warn them. Moses was to bring God’s law to the people of Israel. Then he could look among the people to find men who were faithful and had integrity. He then placed them in authority over thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens. And then he had to “let them” judge the people at all times. Every great matter they would bring to Moses. But any small matter they were empowered to decide themselves. Jethro was helping Moses design an appellate court system. They all decide the small cases. Anything that can’t get settled eventually comes to him.
But this is a critical point to get: The people couldn’t “judge small matters” if Moses did not first “teach them” “place them” and “let them.” The mentoring process had to happen to equip them to do the work.
What are the benefits of following Jethro’s advice?
“So it will be easier for you, and they will bear the burden with you. If you do this, God will direct you, you will be able to endure, and all this people also will go to their place in peace.”
This is a win-win all around. Easier for Moses. They bear the burden WITH Moses. The great work of God is now multiplied. If there are 600,000 men, and now there are leaders of “tens,” that means there are at least 60,000 leaders over ten men each. The one man, Moses, is now multiplied to over tens of thousands helping Moses do his job.
The work is getting done more efficiently. The people are empowered. A culture is built that is not centered around one man, but around everyone doing their part. That’s what God designed the body of Christ to look like. Arms, legs, hands, feet, eyes, ears, mouths all working together when every part is doing its share (Ephesians 4:16).
The great work of God is multiplied when we don’t dump the work of the church on a few “key” workers.
#5 The great work is energized.
Mentoring brings in new blood. Fresh ideas and approaches that come with a younger generations. We are energized by seeing the growth and spirit and innovation of the new generation. Those being mentored are energized because they feel that they are needed, and that they can add value to the group. We have brought them in and they can contribute to the discussion.
Those who are currently leading need to be vulnerable and unafraid as leaders. We must welcome that new blood with all their energy and ideas. We must have the confidence in Christ to not be intimidated or threatened by their questions and different perspectives.
Jesus didn’t stifle the zeal and spirit of His apostles. Yes, there were times when the apostles went off half-cocked and had their heads in the wrong place, but look at what Jesus did with those men who had such great zeal for God. He channeled it and tempered it and directed it to an unstoppable force in the kingdom.
Mentoring is a privilege and a blessing, because as I have mentored others, I have learned a lot of new things along the way. I have been blessed by gaining a new and fresh outlook from those I was training.
#6 Learning is a lifetime thing.
Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own (Philippians 3:12).
No person ever gets to a point where they have “attained.” Paul the aged apostle clearly said that he did not count himself to have reached some pinnacle of faith and maturity. Even the 80 year old Moses was mentored by his father in law, Jethro.
Christians don’t come with install codes that just magically place all the vital information about Christ and His church in their minds. This is a lifelong pursuit of truth, growth and being led by the Holy Spirit.
No matter how great of a home you had, no matter how perfect your parents were and no matter how thoroughly they taught you, you cannot possibly have learned everything you need to know for life, career, family and Christianity by the time you were 18. You will need to be mentored.
No matter how long you have been in the church, you still need teaching. No matter how many books you have read and Bible classes you have attended, you still need additional learning.
We must all be committed to continuing education in Christ. I will always need someone to come alongside me and show me a better way.
#7 Because someone did it for you.
Someone taught you how to ride a bike. Someone taught you how to make a grilled cheese sandwich. Somebody taught you how to put a worm on a hook. Someone taught you how to make a layup or throw a curveball. Somebody taught you how to walk, how to read, how to tie your shoes, etc. Somebody taught you how to balance a checkbook. Someone showed you how to play an instrument. Someone spent long hours helping you with your math homework. Someone held a hammer with you to show you how to swing it.
Someone sacrificed their time for you. Someone knew that the job would take a little longer because you would be helping. You slowed them down. That person could have done it faster without you. Someone dealt with the frustrations of your inexperience, mistakes, attitudes and need for growth. Someone walked through all of that with you.
Most importantly, someone taught you the gospel.
If someone loved you enough to mentor you, will you love the next person enough to mentor him or her? Find someone today who needs a mentor and initiate the mentoring process. It is worth it!