On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Paul Kipnes discusses his book, The Secret Life of the Mourner, which explores his personal journey through grief after losing his father. The conversation delves into the therapeutic power of poetry, the role of a rabbi in mourning, the significance of rituals like sitting Shiva, and the importance of community support during times of loss. Rabbi Kipnes reflects on the complexities of parent-child relationships, forgiveness, and the necessity of creating new rituals to help individuals process their grief. His conversation with Rabbi Address emphasizes the need for permission to mourn and the liberation that comes from articulating one’s feelings.

The Secret Life of the Mourner: A Poetic Journey Through a Year of Grief is a heartfelt exploration of loss, love, and the complex emotions that define mourning. After the unexpected loss of his father, Paul Kipnes embarked on a deeply personal journey through grief, uncovering what he calls the “secret life of the mourner.” This collection of poignant poetry captures the raw, often hidden layers of emotion that mourners experience — sadness, relief, guilt, reflection, and moments of profound connection. Drawing from his own experience as a mourner and years as a clergyperson guiding others through the valley of the shadow of death, Kipnes invites readers into an intimate conversation with grief. Written with unflinching honesty and poetic simplicity, these verses transcend theology and intellect, speaking directly to the heart. Poetry, with its ability to convey the inexpressible, becomes a vessel for the emotions that often defy articulation. The Secret Life of the Mourner is a companion for those who grieve, a resource for loved ones seeking understanding, and a tool for caregivers, clergy, and ritual leaders. Whether read in quiet reflection or shared during moments of mourning, these poems illuminate the universal truths of loss and the resilience of the human spirit. Ultimately, this book is a gift—a raw, real, and deeply moving tribute to the enduring bond between the living and the lost, reminding us that even in the shadow of grief, love endures and memories become blessings.

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About the Guest Rabbi Paul Kipnes

Rabbi Paul Kipnes is a visionary spiritual leader, three-time author, speaker, and innovator, dedicated to guiding individuals and communities toward deeper faith, healing, and transformation. As the longtime spiritual leader of Congregation Or Ami, he has pioneered groundbreaking approaches to spiritual engagement, earning 14 national awards for excellence in family education, interfaith outreach, disability inclusion, social justice, and use of technology.

A passionate educator, Rabbi Paul has guided over 56 rabbis and educators, shaping the next generation of faith leadership. His commitment to fostering meaningful spiritual living extends to his writing, including Jewish Spiritual Parenting, co-authored with his wife, Michelle November, and The Secret Life of the Mourner: A Poetic Journey Through a Year of Grief, a deeply personal and spiritual exploration of loss and healing.

National leaders, clergy, and people everywhere turn to Rabbi Paul and his poetic, alliterative writing and prayers to find the words to address the rapidly transforming personal and societal realities. He co-edited a national journal on New Visions for Jewish Community and his writing has been featured in JTA, The Forward, the Journal of Reform Judaism, Jewish Journal, Daily News, and eJewishPhilanthropy.com. He is co-founder of Midrashic Monologues, which gives voice through the silence to our Biblical ancestors.

Beyond the pulpit, Rabbi Paul is a dynamic thinker and creative spirit. A lifelong lover of science fiction and meditation, he even appeared in an episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. His passions also include blues and jazz, writing poetry, as well as hiking through national parks, where he finds spiritual inspiration in the grandeur of nature.

With a reputation for community transformation and teen engagement, Rabbi Paul integrates ancient traditions with modern insights, fostering inclusive, dynamic spiritual experiences. Whether through writing, teaching, or community leadership, he empowers individuals to connect more deeply with their spirituality, embrace sacred moments, and build vibrant, compassionate communities.

He was ordained rabbi from Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, earning its Master of Arts in Jewish Education degree along the way. His BA in Comparative Religion from Trinity College (Hartford, CT) deepened his appreciation for the universal spiritual search for truth, connection, and compassion.  He is married to Michelle November and together they have three children, two daughters-in-law, and a shared love of travel, good food, and good friends

The post The Healing Power of Poetry in Mourning: Insights from Rabbi Paul Kipnes – SOM 8/1/2025 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.