In this episode, we listen to a striking interaction between the man and the lady, as depicted in Sangam Literary work, Kalithogai 81, penned by Maruthan Ilanaakanaar. The verse is situated in the ‘Marutham’ or ‘Farmlands landscape’ and reveals the man’s attempts at allaying the lady’s ire.

புதல்வனை நோக்கித் தலைவி கூறுதல்
மை அற விளங்கிய மணி மருள் அவ் வாய் தன்
மெய் பெறா மழலையின் விளங்கு பூண் நனைத்தர,
பொலம் பிறையுள் தாழ்ந்த புனை வினை உருள் கலன்,
நலம் பெறு கமழ் சென்னி, நகையொடு துயல்வர,
உரு எஞ்சாது இடை காட்டும் உடை கழல் அம் துகில்
அரி பொலி கிண்கிணி ஆர்ப்பு ஓவா அடி தட்ப,
பாலோடு அலர்ந்த முலை மறந்து, முற்றத்துக்
கால் வல் தேர் கையின் இயக்கி, நடை பயிற்றா,
ஆல் அமர் செல்வன் அணி சால் பெரு விறல்
போல, வரும் என் உயிர்!

பெரும! விருந்தொடு கைதூவா எம்மையும் உள்ளாய்,
பெருந் தெருவில் கொண்டாடி ஞாயர் பயிற்ற,
திருந்துபு நீ கற்ற சொற்கள் யாம் கேட்ப,
மருந்து ஓவா நெஞ்சிற்கு அமிழ்தம் அயின்றற்றா,
பெருந்தகாய்! கூறு, சில

தோழியை நோக்கித் தலைவி கூறிய செய்தி
எல்லிழாய்! சேய் நின்று நாம் கொணர்ந்த பாணன் சிதைந்து, ஆங்கே
வாய் ஓடி, ‘ஏனாதிப்பாடியம்’ என்றற்றா,
‘நோய் நாம் தணிக்கும் மருந்து’ எனப் பாராட்ட,
ஓவாது அடுத்து அடுத்து, ‘அத்தத்தா!’ என்பான் மாண
வேய் மென் தோள் வேய்த்திறம் சேர்த்தலும், மற்று, இவன்
வாயுள்ளின் போகான்அரோ

தலைவன் கேட்ப, தோழியை நோக்கித் தலைவி உரைத்தல்
உள்ளி உழையே ஒருங்கு படை விடக்
கள்ளர் படர்தந்தது போல, தாம் எம்மை
எள்ளுமார் வந்தாரே ஈங்கு

தலைவன்
ஏதப்பாடு எண்ணி, புரிசை வியல் உள்ளோர்
கள்வரைக் காணாது, ‘கண்டேம்’ என்பார் போல,
சேய் நின்று, செய்யாத சொல்லிச் சினவல்; நின்
ஆணை கடக்கிற்பார் யார்?

தலைவி
அதிர்வு இல் படிறு எருக்கி, வந்து என் மகன்மேல்,
முதிர் பூண் முலை பொருத ஏதிலாள் முச்சி
உதிர் துகள் உக்க நின் ஆடை ஒலிப்ப
எதிர் வளி நின்றாய்; நீ செல்

தலைவன்
இனி, ‘எல்லா! யாம் தீதிலேம்’ என்று தெளிப்பவும், கைந்நீவி
யாதொன்றும் எம்கண் மறுத்தரவு இல்லாயின்,
மேதக்க எந்தை பெயரனை யாம் கொள்வேம்,
தாவா விருப்பொடு கன்று யாத்துழிச் செல்லும்
ஆ போல் படர் தக, நாம்.

We are back to the conversational style of Kalithogai verses. The words can be translated as follows:

“Lady to her son:
With his beautiful mouth, akin to a flawless gem, he babbles with a lisp, words without any meaning. As he does so, his radiant jewels become moistened. The golden crescent hanging from a well-etched round jewel upon his fragrant and handsome head dangles down. Extending beyond his form, showing his hip, the loose attire he wears block his feet that resound ceaselessly with his anklets filled with pebble-like stones. Forgetting the swelling breast filled with milk, pulling the well-made toy chariot, learning to walk, comes my life, akin to the great one, who sits under the banyan, the son of the strong and decorated lord!

My dear! Without leaving you to think about me ,who was held up with making a feast for the guests, in the huge street, your foster mothers taught you. When I hear those words that you learnt so well from them, that would be like ambrosia to my heart, the cure to my relentlessly worrying heart, O esteemed one! Why don’t you say a few?

Lady to her confidante:
O maiden wearing radiant jewels, the bard, who was brought here from a great distance, ran away with his mouth, and said the word ‘Enaathi Paadiyam’. As I praised my son saying that ‘He was the cure for my disease’, unceasingly he kept saying ‘Athatha’. Even as I buried him in my soft, bamboo-like shoulders, no other words seemed to come out of the little one’s mouth!

Lady saying to her confidante, when the man was in earshot:
Strategising how to destroy an entire army, the band of thieves surround. Akin to that, to make me the laughing stock, he has come here now.

Man:
As means of protection, those within the fort, even when they don’t see the thieves, shout out ‘We have seen them’. Like that, standing far away, you talk about things I never did and become furious. Who can even disobey your orders?

Lady:
Without any hesitation, with cunning, you have come to see my son. But I can see the pollen, fallen from the head of those strange women, scattered all over your attire, as you stand before me amidst the breeze. Please leave!

Man:
Even though I have said, ‘Dear one, there’s no wrong I have done’, caressing your hands, if you do not respond in the right manner, all I can do is to rush towards the little one, who bears the glorious name of my father, and hold our son, akin to a cow, returning from its grazing, rushing towards its calf tied up, with boundless love.”

Let’s delve into the details. The verse is situated in the context of a love quarrel between a man and a lady, owing to the man’s seeking courtesans. The words here are said initially by the lady, who talks to her son and her confidante, and then the conversation takes a turn and dwells between the man and the lady. As we have been seeing in the past few verses, the lady happens to celebrate the beauty and adornments of her infant son, in the beginning, talking about his jewel-like mouth, adorable prattle, the jewels on his head dangling and the anklets on his feet resounding. She mentions how the boy seemed to have forgotten his mother’s milk-filled breast, as he was busy pulling and playing with his toy chariot and learning to walk. From this line, we can infer how Sangam children were breastfed for a long time till the child could walk and talk. Next, the lady mentions how women, who could be the equivalent of today’s nannies, would teach the boy new words, even as the lady was busy with preparing a feast for guests, who had come home. The lady turns to her son and requests him to speak a few words, saying those words are like an elixir to her ears and are the only cure for her worrying heart. At this point, the lady turns to her confidante and conveys the news that the bard who had visited their home earlier had mentioned a particular place, when asked where he had been, and the lady thus knows, the man has been visiting the neighbourhood of the courtesans in the bard’s company. Next, she turns to her son’s words that she had sought from him and tells her confidante, no matter how much love she poured on the boy, the boy only kept referring only to his father.

Then, noticing the man had entered their home, the lady says to the confidante, while the man is in earshot, saying how he had arrived home, after making a mockery of her, just the way a band of thieves decide on the strategic time to destroy an army. The man replies to this accusation saying how even where there were no thieves, those in the fort would shout ‘thief, thief’, like that, the lady seems to be accusing him of things he has never done. The lady replies to this asking, ‘Is that so? Then how come I can see the pollen of other women fallen on your robe?’ The man concludes possibly wringing his hands in despair, saying even though he has repeatedly said he has not done anything wrong, if the lady could not understand it, all he could do was to rush and carry his son, with the feeling of a grazing cow rushing to its tethered calf with love brimming over. A verse which provides insights about the rearing of children in the Sangam era, amidst the usual conflict between the wandering man and the worrying lady!