In this episode, we perceive an exchange of words to unearth the truth, as depicted in Sangam Literary work, Kalithogai 63, penned by Kabilar. The verse is situated in the ‘Kurinji’ or ‘Mountains landscape’ and sketches the confidante’s attempts at bringing together the man and the lady.

தோழி
நோக்குங்கால், நோக்கித் தொழூஉம், பிறர் காண்பார்
தூக்கு இலி; தூற்றும் பழி எனக் கை கவித்துப்
போக்குங்கால், போக்கு நினைந்து இருக்கும்; மற்று நாம்
காக்கும் இடம் அன்று, இனி
எல்லா! எவன் செய்வாம்?
பூக்குழாய்! செல்லல் அவனுழைக் கூஉய்க் கூஉய்
விரும்பி யான் விட்டேனும் போல்வல்; என் தோள்மேல்
கரும்பு எழுது தொய்யிற்குச் செல்வல்; ‘ஈங்கு ஆக
இருந்தாயோ?’ என்று ஆங்கு இற
அவன் நின் திருந்துஅடிமேல் வீழ்ந்து இரக்கும், நோய் தீர்க்கும்
மருந்து நீ ஆகுதலான்

தலைவி
இன்னும், கடம் பூண்டு, ஒருகால் நீ வந்தை உடம்பட்டாள்
என்னாமை என் மெய் தொடு

தோழி
இஃதோ? அடங்கக் கேள்:
நின்னொடு சூழுங்கால், நீயும் நிலம் கிளையா,
என்னொடு நிற்றல் எளிது அன்றோ? மற்று அவன்
தன்னொடு நின்று விடு.

Another little conversational piece between the confidante and the lady. The words can be translated as follows:

“Confidante:
When I turn and look at him, he too would look up and plead to me; He doesn’t seem to care that others would see; When I bid him away with hand gestures to indicate that others would censure such actions, he doesn’t have the heart to leave; There is no way to be rid of him anywhere, my friend. What can we do?

O maiden wearing flower-like earrings, let’s go where he is, and I’ll pretend to keep calling your name with affection. Then I’ll say I’m stepping away to carve ‘Thoyyil paintings’ with sugarcane patterns on my arms. After I leave, you come there saying, ‘Hey, are you there?’. At this time, he will fall at your perfect feet and plead to you, for you are the only cure for his affliction!

Lady:
It seems to me as if you have given him a promise that ‘I would accept him’. If this is not true, swear on my form!

Confidante:
Oh! Is that so? Listen fully. When I was saying these words, you seemed to be drawing patterns on the ground with your toes. Isn’t it easy for you to show that you agree me with me, in this wordless way? So, go and do the same with him!”

Time to delve into the nuances. The verse is situated in the context of a man’s love relationship with a lady, prior to marriage, and narrates a conversation between the confidante and the lady about the man’s advances. The confidante starts by talking about the persistent manner in which the man followed her around, seeking to win her confidence. She mentions how he seemed not to care about whether others would see and start spreading slander. Even when she would shoo him away, he wouldn’t budge, and asks the lady what they are to do. Then, continuing, the confidante hatches a plan saying that she will go ahead to the spot, where the man awaits and will pretend to call for the lady repeatedly. Then she would declare that she’s off to do some thoyyil painting on her arms. At that time, the lady should come walking there, seeking out the confidante. When she does, the man would fall at her feet and plead for her grace because the lady was the only cure for the disease that devours him, the confidante declares.

Hearing this, the lady with seeming anger asks if the confidante had promised the man that she would make the lady agree to the man’s request. The confidante replies saying, ‘Cool down, my friend! I was observing you when I was complaining about the man. You didn’t say anything to show his presence was against your liking. You were simply bending your head down and drawing patterns on the sand with your toe. So, I took it as if you have accepted my idea. Now, just go and stand near him and do this same thing and all will be well’. With a laugh, the confidante concludes these words.

Even though the lines are few, this verse was so confusing to comprehend because there are so many hidden layers here. First question would be, why is the man approaching the confidante rather than the lady to express his love? The answer to that is that curious Sangam tradition, according to the poets then, that the man needs to win the favour of the lady’s confidante to further his love relationship with the lady. Next question, why does the confidante hatch that elaborate plan, involving intricate screenplay and dialogue, to make the lady and man meet? To understand this, we have to know that it was considered immodest for a woman to seek out a man and that’s why the confidante wants to pretend that the lady is not coming there to meet the man but the man suddenly happens to be where they were. Finally, in reply to the lady’s angry question, the confidante reveals that she knows about the prior relationship of the lady and the man, as she caught it from the subtle gesture of the lady, drawing patterns on the sand with her feet, head bent. So, ultimately she tells her friend, ‘Enough with the act. Go on and end the suffering of the man’. What a complicated world it seems like! Yet, the impressive thing here is that extreme focus on minute gestures and observations of people around, talking about the mindfulness in such a culture, which in turn hints at the treasure of mental health that these ancients no doubt called their own!