In this episode, we listen to an interesting conversation between three people, as depicted in Sangam Literary work, Kalithogai 61, penned by Kabilar. The verse is situated in the ‘Kurinji’ or ‘Mountains landscape’ and reveals the man’s situation and the confidante’s support.

தலைவன் வருகை கண்டு, தோழி தலைவியை நோக்கிக் கூறுதல்
எல்லா! இஃது ஒத்தன் என் பெறான்? கேட்டைக் காண்:
செல்வம் கடைகொள, சாஅய், சான்றவர்
அல்லல் களை தக்க கேளிருழைச் சென்று,
சொல்லுதல் உற்று, உரைகல்லாதவர் போல
பல் ஊழ் பெயர்ந்து என்னை நோக்கும்; மற்று யான் நோக்கின்,
மெல்ல இறைஞ்சும் தலை

தலைவன் எதிர் சென்று, அவனை நோக்கித் தோழி வினாவுதல்
எல்லா! நீ முன்னத்தான் ஒன்று குறித்தாய்போல் காட்டினை;
நின்னின் விடாஅ நிழல் போல் திரிதருவாய்!
என், நீ பெறாதது? ஈது என்?

தலைவன்
சொல்லின், மறாதீவாள் மன்னோ, இவள்?
செறாஅது ஈதல், இரந்தார்க்கு ஒன்று, ஆற்றாது வாழ்தலின்,
சாதலும் கூடுமாம் மற்று

தோழி
இவள் தந்தை காதலின் யார்க்கும் கொடுக்கும், விழுப் பொருள்; யாது, நீ வேண்டியது?

தலைவன்
பேதாய்! பொருள் வேண்டும் புன்கண்மை ஈண்டு இல்லை; யாழ
மருளி மட நோக்கின் நின் தோழி என்னை
அருளீயல் வேண்டுவல், யான்

தலைவன் நீங்கிய பின்னர், தோழி தலைவியொடு உசாவுதல்
“அன்னையோ?” மண்டு அமர் அட்ட களிறு அன்னான்தன்னை ஒரு
பெண்டிர் அருளக் கிடந்தது எவன்கொலோ?’

தலைவி
ஒண்தொடீ! நாண் இலன் மன்ற இவன்
ஆயின், ஏஎ!

தோழி
‘பல்லார் நக்கு எள்ளப்படு மடல்மா ஏறி,
மல்லல் ஊர் ஆங்கண் படுமே, நறும் நுதல்
நல்காள் கண்மாறிவிடின்’ எனச் செல்வானாம்
எள்ளி நகினும் வரூஉம்; இடைஇடைக்
கள்வர் போல் நோக்கினும் நோக்கும்; குறித்தது
கொள்ளாது போகாக் குணன் உடையன், எந்தை தன்
உள்ளம் குறைபடாவாறு.

For the first time, we perceive a three-directional conversation though it’s the confidante dominating the narrative on the whole! The words can be translated as follows:

“Seeing the man approach, Confidante says to the Lady:
Hey you! Look at that man standing there! What does he want? He seems to be in much plight! Seeing their wealth diminish, feeling pain, the wise would approach their kin to end their state of suffering, but would end up standing there, intending to speak but unable to express words any. Just like them, he keeps looking at me silently many, many times. When I turn to look at him, he slowly bends his head down.

Facing the man, Confidante says to him:
Hey you! You appear as if you want to tell me something, and roam around me just the way your shadow parts not from you. What is that you seek? Why do you behave so?

Man:
If I tell that, will she render that without fail? When another seeks something, one should render charity without any reservations. If they cannot do that, it’s better to die than live so.

Confidante:
Her father is such a person, who would give with affection, whatever anyone asks; What is that you want?

Man:
O naive maiden! I am not in a lowly state to seek wealth from others; All I ask is for your friend, with a bewildered and naive gaze, to render her grace to me.

After the man leaves, Confidante discusses with the lady:
Oh! Is that what he wants? A man, who is akin to a fierce battle elephant, seems to seek the grace of a woman. How is this possible?

Lady:
O maiden wearing shining bangles! He sure seems to be a man without any shame!

Confidante:
He says, “Making many in this fertile town mock and laugh, I would climb on a palmyra horse and announce it, if that beautiful maiden with a fragrant forehead renders not’. Even if we mock and laugh, he would be back for sure. When he does, he would keep stealing glances at you, every now and then; He seems to have a nature of never letting go what he sets his mind on; He is sure to render enough to satisfy father’s heart!”

Let’s delve into the details. The verse is situated in the context of a man’s love relationship with a lady, prior to marriage, and depicts a conversation involving the man, the confidante and the lady. The scene opens with the confidante observing the man coming towards where she and the lady were and she turns to tell the lady about how the man seemed to be in a desperate and helpless situation. She talks about how this reminds her of the way when people who have been affluent lose their wealth and then to ease their suffering, they would go with the intention of seeking help from their relatives, but in their presence, they would be unable to open their mouths and ask what they want. This relatable situation is presented as a simile for how the man stands wordlessly before her, not once not twice but many, many times, the confidante describes and tells the lady every time she would turn to look at the man, he would avert his eyes and look down.

So now, the confidante decides to take the matter in her hands and asks the man, ‘What’s up? I know you want to tell me something, for you are roaming behind me like how a shadow separates not from you. What do you want?’ A moment to relish the choice of simile again. This made me think of a line in a Tamil movie, where a young girl who is being pursued by a guy asks him, ‘Are you going to keep following me like the Vodafone puppy?’ Now, the image of the ‘Vodafone puppy’ comes from an advertisement of a Phone network, depicting a dog following a girl wherever she goes, and that’s how strong the network is, that phone company implies. This is an information that is relevant only to a small geographic region and a small slice of time. But even after two thousand years, we are able to relate to this simile of a shadow that parts not from us. Unless humanity travels to a planetary system, where the sun or suns work differently, this simile can live on with meaning. That’s the power of great writing, I think!

Returning, the man replies to the confidante’s question with another question, ‘If I tell what is that I want, will your friend grant it?’ He then continues with an observation that one should render charity without any questions and it’s better to die if one can’t. Strong case he’s putting up in his favour! The confidante pretending not to understand tells him, ‘Sure, the lady’s father is such a person known for his ceaseless generosity. Ask anything you want’. Hearing this, the man scoffs at her suggestion, saying ‘I don’t have to beg for any object from anyone. I lack not in wealth. All I seek is the grace of your friend’s face’. He says these words and leaves the place. The confidante then marvels at how this man who has the strength and power of a battle elephant seems to seek so meekly the lady’s grace. As if she doesn’t get the message, the lady says, ‘He seems to act with no shame’. Hard one to convince indeed!

To this, the confidante responds with the consequences of the lady’s refusal saying the man would climb on a palmyra horse and declare his love, even if everyone laughs, and whatever they do, he’s going to keep returning and take furtive glances at the lady. She concludes saying this man seems to be someone who would never take ‘no’ for an answer and would be relentless in his pursuit of a goal, and also, someone who would render enough to make the lady’s father happy. The last statement may confuse people of the current era because the contemporary practice of a man receiving wealth and gifts from a lady’s family during their wedding was non-existent in the Sangam era, and the roles were in fact reversed, in that the system of bride-price of the man offering wealth to the lady’s family was the custom practiced. In effect, the confidante summarises the man’s nature as persevering and portrays him as an affluent person, who would meet the approval of the lady’s parents, thereby hinting to her friend that she should think about favouring the man and rendering her love. A verse which reveals motivations and perceptions of Sangam men and women in their youth and in love!