In this episode, we perceive the confusions in the mind of the confidante, as depicted in Sangam Literary work, Kalithogai 47, penned by Kabilar. The verse is situated in the ‘Kurinji’ or ‘Mountains landscape’ and presents the confidante’s attempts to resolve the man’s quandary.

ஒன்று, இரப்பான் போல் எளிவந்தும் சொல்லும்; உலகம்
புரப்பான் போல்வது ஓர் மதுகையும் உடையன்;
வல்லாரை வழிபட்டு ஒன்று அறிந்தான் போல்,
நல்லார்கண் தோன்றும் அடக்கமும் உடையன்;
இல்லோர் புன்கண் ஈகையின் தணிக்க
வல்லான் போல்வது ஓர் வன்மையும் உடையன்;
அன்னான் ஒருவன் தன் ஆண்தகை விட்டு, என்னைச்
சொல்லும் சொல், கேட்டீ சுடரிழாய்! பல் மாணும்;

‘நின் இன்றி அமையலேன் யான்’ என்னும் அவன் ஆயின்,
அன்னான் சொல் நம்புண்டல் யார்க்கும் இங்கு அரிதுஆயின்,
என் உற்ற பிறர்க்கும் ஆங்கு உளகொல்லோ? நறுநுதால்!

‘அறியாய் நீ; வருந்துவல் யான்’ என்னும் அவன் ஆயின்,
தமியரே துணிகிற்றல் பெண்டிர்க்கும் அரிதுஆயின்,
அளியரோ, எம் போல ஈங்கு இவன் வலைப்பட்டார்;

‘வாழலேன், யான்’ என்னும் ‘நீ நீப்பின்’ அவன் ஆயின்,
‘ஏழையர்’ எனப் பலர் கூறும் சொல் பழி ஆயின்,
சூழுங் கால், நினைப்பது ஒன்று அறிகலேன், வருந்துவல்;

சூழுங்கால், நறுநுதால்! நம்முளே சூழ்குவம்
அவனை,
நாண் அட, பெயர்த்தல் நமக்கும் ஆங்கு ஒல்லாது;
“பேணினர்” எனப்படுதல் பெண்மையும் அன்று; அவன்
வௌவினன் முயங்கும் மாத்திரம் வா எனக்
கூறுவென் போலக் காட்டி,
மற்று அவன் மேஎவழி மேவாய், நெஞ்சே!

Being a song on confusions, it’s rather confusing! The words can be translated as follows:

“As if he’s begging something, he appears with much humility, when he speaks; At the same time, he seems to have the kind of strength that can protect the entire world; As if he’s followed the guidance of the wise and learnt things in life, he appears with modesty that is seen only in the noble; At the same time, he seems to have the kind of ability that can abate the suffering of the impoverished with his immense generosity; Listen to the words, such a man speaks to me, repeatedly, letting go of his manly power, O maiden wearing radiant jewels!

‘Without her, I cannot live’, says he! It’s hard for anyone to believe these words of such a person. Would any one else have felt the suffering I feel now, O maiden with a fragrant forehead!

‘She doesn’t know. But I suffer so’, says he! It’s hard for women to dare to decide on their own. To be pitied are those like me, who have been caught in his web!

‘I shan’t live, if she parts away’, says he! There may be blame from many of being naive. When I ponder over it, I don’t know what to think! I’m filled with worry!

Let’s think about this together, O maiden with a fragrant forehead! It’s true that shame stops us from going to him; Letting it go just like that isn’t right either. It’s not feminine to give in to his words on the other hand; But he does seem to have taken a vow to embrace you. Let me point to him a false place, and ask him to come there. That way, I would appear to fulfil his wish, O heart!”

Let’s explore the details. The verse is situated in the context of the man’s love relationship with the lady, prior to marriage, and specifically, on the theme of the man winning the confidence of the confidante. The words are uttered by the confidante, and for the most part, she speaks to the lady, and in the concluding words to herself.

The first section of the confidante’s words are easy to grasp in that they depict how the man approached her with much humility while she could see that he was someone with the strength to protect the whole world. He also had that calm and restrained quality that comes from following the guidance of the wise. To top it all, he seemed to have the wealth and generosity to end the suffering of the poor. In short, a perfect Sangam gentleman! After describing him so, the confidante talks about how he never thought of his power and superiority but kept repeating some words to the confidante, as if he was begging her.

Now she talks about how he lamented that he cannot live without the lady, and that he suffers so without her and that he won’t live if the lady refuses to accept him. Now, the confidante talks about her pitiable state of being caught in this web, and certain beliefs of the time such as ‘women are naive and they cannot come to any decision of their own’. Then, she invites the lady to think it over with her and she goes back and forth with her thoughts supporting the man, and at the same time, declaring the shame in accepting him just like that. Finally, getting no response from the lady, decides to tell him a wrong trysting spot, so that she would appear to fulfil his dear wish of embracing the lady, but not actually do anything, owing to the lady’s lack of response!

This whole monologue would definitely seem confusing to us, because we do not know the intentions and motivations of these characters from another era. However, we can understand that the defining characteristics here are the shyness in the lady regarding revealing the truth of her relationship with the man and the confidante’s persistent attempts to overcome the same. In the end, the confidante hopes that lady will accept the truth, overcoming her innate modesty, and thereby, help the confidante further her relationship with the man through trysting. It makes me smile to think that some of our confusions too would seem bizarre to people of another time! While that may be so, like change, confusions too seem a constant in human life!