Mike Schulz, Dave Levora, and Darren Pitra chit the film chat for a tight fifteen. Schulz liked what he saw this week, which disappointed Levora, who finds Schulz to be most fun when he’s attacking some form of abominable tripe. No luck this week, Dave.

The films under discussion:

• Civil War, directed by Alex Garland and starring Kirsten Dunst, Wagner Moura, Jesse Plemons, Cailee Spaeny, Stephen McKinley Henderson, and Nick Offerman. Ludicrous plot-points notwithstanding, Garland’s film is more an experiential work rather than a story that requires logical plot development. Levora says his friends were bugged by the lack of explanations, but Schulz didn’t mind not being so unlumbered. If you can just accept the premise at face and let it wash over you, you’ll find lots to enjoy.
  
• Arcadian, a post-apocalyptic horror film directed by Ben Brewer and starring Nicolas Cage, Jaeden Martell, Maxwell Jenkins, and Sadie Soverall. A Quiet Place, with smell replacing sound as the monster-signaler. Clever, Brewer.
  
• Vanya, directed by and starring Andrew Scott, it’s a one-man rendition of Anton Chekhov’s play Uncle Vanya. You have to dig it for the sheer feat of it, apparently.
  
• The Last Picture House has booked 2022’s Hundreds of Beavers, directed by Mike Cheslik and starring Ryland Brickson Cole Tews (who also co-wrote the film with Cheslik), Olivia Graves, Wes Tank, Doug Mancheski, and Luis Rico. Schulz likens the work as a black-and-white Looney Tunes feature stretched out to film-length. Schulz doesn’t think he’ll see it again, as he laughed a half-dozen times, but smiled at the proceedings more than anything.
  

Previews for films for Schulz to review, should he decide to:

• The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, directed by Guy Ritchie and starring Henry Cavill, Eiza González, Alan Ritchson, Henry Golding, Alex Pettyfer, Hero Fiennes Tiffin, Babs Olusanmokun, Cary Elwes, Til Schweiger, Henrique Zaga, Roger Snipes, Danny Sapani, and Freddie Fox. Sounds like Inglorious Basterds, but with English blokes in place of the Jewish-American bad-asses (and Brad Pitt).
  
• The People’s Joker, a 2022 superhero parody, directed by Vera Drew and starring Drew, Lynn Downey, Kane Distler, Nathan Faustyn, Scott Aukerman, Tim Heidecker, Maria Bamford, David Liebe Hart, Robert Wuhl, and Bob Odenkirk. Interesting premise.
  
• Abigail, directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett and starring Alisha Weir, Melissa Barrera, Dan Stevens, Kathryn Newton, Will Catlett, Kevin Durand, Angus Cloud, and Giancarlo Esposito. Concerns a vampire ballerina. Mmmmmm, pass?
  
• Sasquatch Sunset, directed by David and Nathan Zellner and starring Riley Keough, Jesse Eisenberg, and Christophe Zajac-Denek. The film has become notorious for driving viewers aware with scenes of man-apes behaving as man-apes will if no one was watching them. For those made of sterner stuff, there may be laughter ahead. . .
  

“Civil War,” “Arcadian,” “Vanya,” and “Hundreds of Beavers”