If you love the Hunger Games, then you must be excited about the final movie! Too bad, because Lionsgate split it in half so you can pay twice as much and get a bunch of filler and an anticlimax! So get ready to half enjoy Mockingjay Part 1

In the future, wars will be fought through child-actors on TV making commercials under duress. Sure, there's some shooting here and there but mostly it's just TV. And Catniss, former Hunger Games star, doesn't like being on TV so she hides in a hole the entire movie (which, again, is only half a movie).

It's infuriating but it'll work. And good for them. Hollywood's been so put upon in recent years with all their record profits. It must be exhausting.

And speaking of profits, thanks a ton to Ken for becoming our newest Meat Buddy! If you want to help keep this zepplin in the water, go to read-weep.com/meatbuddies and join the supporters group!