Raising Christian Kids
Dr. Kathy Koch Shares Productive Disciplining Techniques for Strong-willed Children
“Another issue with disciplining today is that way too many people think of it as punishment; discipline is training for righteousness; discipline is walking with!” -Kathy Koch.
Dr. Kathy Koch is the founder and president of Celebrate Kids and the associate co-founder of Ignite the Family. She regularly speaks at conventions, schools, churches, and pregnancy resource centers, where she has influenced thousands of people. Dr. Kathy is a popular guest on Focus on the Family radio, and her podcast, Celebrate Kids with Dr. Kathy, is among the most popular parenting podcasts. She is also the author of six books published by Moody Publishers. Throughout this episode, Dr. Koch shares advice on disciplining, understanding strong-willed children, and the most problematic issues with disciplining children today.
Key Takeaways:
The discipline of wisdom can be defined as agreeing with God, a perspective God brings to a topic, and applying truth - wisdom is using the right with the right motive for the right outcome.
Ways to address a strong-willed child when they continue arguing, talking back, or ignoring their parents’ directives.
A strong-willed child is not bad when they have self-control, self-respect, and respect for others; having a strong will is a great characteristic for decision-making and leadership.
What a strong-willed child wants is power, control, and victory.
Advice for disciplining and understanding strong-willed children:
Keep a written record of when your child argues, talks back, or ignores you to help determine if it’s situational.
Avoid saying “no” when your child asks a question; replace it with “when and then.”
Most problematic issues when disciplining children today:
Overwhelmed parents: if parents are overwhelmed, and they’ve given up, or they’re afraid of their kids, and the kids talk back a lot, don’t sink into the lazy pit of despair but pray instead.
Consequences differ from punishments: consequences are necessary for disciplining because they teach children how to change their behaviors.
Technology: when we allow our children to use technology, they tend to think they’re in control and that everything is about them; so, they believe the world works like that because their brain is being developed by the media devices they spend their time on.
Dr. Kathy's books:
Resilient Kids
8 Great Smarts
No More Perfect Kids
Screens and Teens
Start with the Heart
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