Raising Christian Kids

Raising Christian Kids


How to Raise a Woman Who Is Resilient Against Toxic Teachings & Abuse

March 18, 2024
“When we teach girls that they are at least partially responsible for boys’ sin, they’re far more likely to marry an abuser because we’re teaching them it is normal for boys to lust after you and treat you badly.” -Sheila Gregoire.

Sheila Wray Gregoire is a sought-after speaker and the face behind ToLoveHonorandVacuum.com, the largest single-blogger marriage blog. She’s also an award-winning author of nine books, including The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex and She Deserves Better. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila is passionate about changing the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage to line up with kingdom principles.


During this episode, Sheila Gregoire shares shocking statistics and research associated with toxic teachings on sex, self-esteem, and speaking up for oneself. She emphasizes the impact of purity culture on young girls and the unintended consequences of certain teachings in the evangelical world. Whether it’s the correlation between modesty messaging, the likelihood of marrying an abuser, or the alarming statistics on sexual assault within church communities, Sheila sheds light on crucial issues that parents and church leaders must address.


Key Takeaways:
  • The need to raise children with discernment to resist toxic teachings.
  • The importance of self-esteem and its connection with self-love.
  • Addressing the misconception that placing importance on self-esteem can be detrimental to teaching children to be self-sacrificial like Christ.
  • Sheila explains the significance of self-esteem in fostering healthy relationships, mental health, and overall well-being.
  • Identifying indicators that suggest a likelihood of marrying an abuser based on the research data.
  • The correlation between teachings related to modesty and the likelihood of marrying an abuser.
  • The impact of low self-esteem and its association with abuse and negative sexual education.
  • The emphasis on sex, modesty, purity, and virginity within Christian teachings.
  • The detrimental effect of placing worth in virginity and the importance of reassessing the teaching approach.
  • Advocating for children to speak up against toxic teachings in church environments is necessary.
  • The importance of teaching children at home and fostering an open dialogue to address any concerning teachings encountered in church.

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