This podcast was tougher for me to do than it looks. It took some self-reflection, some self-admission, and changing a long-held outlook I have dealt with for years. Parts of it may seem silly to others, even though it was important to me. It would be a fair assessment to call me naïve and possibly over-dramatic. But this was how my childhood dream unfolded and, ultimately, was crushed.

I had a hard time posting this today. I went to bed realizing I left out some details. But I feel like I promised a weekly podcast and this one was in the can… so here it is.

Now, I can’t even remember if I told this story on the podcast before… so it would seem understandable that maybe 30 years after the fact, my mind has altered some details and omitted others. Either way, in the end, I just never lived up to my dream. And maybe it was the fault of a lazy or uncaring coach who deceived a naïve kid. Or maybe it was more an underperforming player not making the most of the sliver of an opportunity he was given.

That it still bothers me 30 years later is proof that the dying dream of a 19-year old can continue to resonate through life. Redemption is something I’ve discussed often on the podcast – typically when I DNF a race and then come back to defeat it. But this runs deeper. These next 13 months are redemption of a different kind. It is the answer to the question, “What if?”

My intention is to immerse myself in training for Ironman Lake Placid 2023 in a way that I haven’t done before. To change habits that, even in my best training cycles were engrained to my core and never completely overcome. To bring intensity during training to levels unseen. And to be consistently focused and working towards the goal of putting in the work to a degree I have not done before.

Redemption… it will be sweet.

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The post Podcast #446 – What’s My Why? Well, it’s a Long Story. appeared first on Ordinary Marathoner.