Noneillah Show Podcast

Noneillah Show Podcast


Remembering NJ Transit and Coach USA Victims Who Was Killed In Vain

November 16, 2019

Remembering the Victims Who Life Was Removed off this earth in vain by Transit and 5 steps of Grief Remember, grieving is a personal process that has no time limit, nor one “right” way to do it. The 5 stages of grief and loss are:
1. Denial and isolation; o The first reaction to learning about the terminal illness, loss, or death of a cherished loved one is to deny the reality of the situation.  o “This isn’t happening, this can’t be happening,” people often think.  2. Anger o As the masking effects of denial and isolation begin to wear, reality and its pain re-emerge. o We are not ready.  o The intense emotion is deflected from our vulnerable core, redirected and expressed instead as anger.  o The anger may be aimed at inanimate objects, complete strangers, friends or family.  o Anger may be directed at our dying or deceased loved one.  o Rationally, we know the person is not to be blamed.  o Emotionally, however, we may resent the person for causing us pain or for leaving us.  o We feel guilty for being angry, and this makes us angrier.  3. Bargaining o The normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to regain control through a series of “If only” statements, such as:  o If only we had sought medical attention sooner…  o If only we got a second opinion from another doctor…  o If only we had tried to be a better person toward them…  o This is an attempt to bargain.  o Secretly, we may make a deal with God or our higher power in an attempt to postpone the inevitable, and the accompanying pain.  o This is a weaker line of defense to protect us from the painful reality.  o Guilt often accompanies bargaining. We start to believe there was something we could have done differently to have helped save our loved one.  4. Depression; o There are two types of depression that are associated with mourning.  o The first one is a reaction to practical implications relating to the loss.  o Sadness and regret predominate this type of depression.  o We worry about the costs and burial.  o We worry that, in our grief, we have spent less time with others that depend on us.  o This phase may be eased by simple clarification and reassurance.  o We may need a bit of helpful cooperation and a few kind words.  5. Acceptance.  o Reaching this stage of grieving is a gift not afforded to everyone.  o Death may be sudden and unexpected or we may never see beyond our anger or denial.  o It is not necessarily a mark of bravery to resist the inevitable and to deny ourselves the opportunity to make our peace.

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