Welcome to Monday Night Live!

On this week’s episode of Monday Night Live, hosted by Derek Arden, the guest was international mediator, lawyer, and author, Jane Gunn. Known for her innovative approach to mediation, Jane has handled everything from personal disputes to high-profile commercial cases. In this episode, Derek engages Jane in an insightful discussion about the art and science of mediation, the hidden costs of conflict, and her strategies for creating a calm and fair environment, even in the most heated disputes.

The Role of Chocolate in Mediation

Derek starts the conversation with a light-hearted but intriguing question: “Why do you always bring sweets and chocolates to a mediation?” Jane explains that something as simple as offering a snack can break tension, energize the participants, and even help people think more clearly. She mentions that during a long and emotionally charged mediation, people tend to skip meals or neglect their basic needs, which can exacerbate stress. By offering small comforts like chocolate, she subtly encourages breaks that help people step back, recharge, and re-enter the discussion with a clearer mindset.

Managing David and Goliath Situations

A key theme of the discussion was the challenge of mediating imbalanced power dynamics, or “David and Goliath” situations. One audience question asked, “How can a mediator ensure a fair outcome when one party holds more power?” Jane stressed the importance of balancing the scales by giving both parties the space to be heard, challenging their perceptions, and fostering an environment where they can interact as human beings rather than adversaries.

Mediation, she emphasized, is about helping people step off the “conveyor belt” of conflict escalation. Instead of heading straight for court, Jane helps them explore different perspectives, think about their relationships, health, and the real costs—emotional, financial, and personal—that conflict brings into their lives.

The Cost of Litigation

Jane’s experience has shown her that people often underestimate the impact litigation can have on their health and well-being. Many clients enter a legal battle convinced they are right, focusing only on winning. But they fail to account for the strain prolonged litigation can place on their mental and physical health, relationships, and overall quality of life. One of the most eye-opening moments in her career came during a commercial property dispute where one of the participants had an epiphany: if he spent the next two years litigating, he would lose precious time with his chronically ill wife. This realization shifted his priorities from winning a legal battle to preserving his personal life.

Dealing with Uncertainty and Fear

Jane touched on the increasing uncertainty people feel today, from financial concerns to global instability, and how these external anxieties fuel personal conflicts. People’s fears about the future can spill over into how they interact with others, making conflicts harder to resolve. In mediations, Jane helps participants acknowledge these underlying emotions and address them so they can focus on resolving their differences.

Mediation Techniques and The Power of Listening

Derek and Jane explored the importance of listening—not just to each other but also to oneself. In her mediations, Jane encourages people to deeply reflect on what really matters to them. This kind of introspection helps to break away from the surface-level demands and focus on deeper needs, beliefs, and goals. She also uses tools like flip charts to visually display the cost of conflict, encouraging clients to see the broader impact of their decisions and the ripple effects on their lives.

Jane’s mediation approach is rooted in “principled negotiation,” a method from the Harvard Negotiation Project. This process moves beyond positional bargaining—where each side is fixed on their demands—and digs deeper into underlying needs and shared values. By exploring multiple options and finding common ground, parties can create solutions that are more sustainable and fulfilling for everyone involved.

Virtual Mediation and New Approaches Post-Pandemic

As the conversation winds down, Jane reflects on how the pandemic has changed the way mediations are conducted. While she still prefers face-to-face meetings, virtual mediation has provided some surprising advantages, especially for participants who are too emotionally charged to be in the same room. The online format offers a degree of distance, which can help diffuse tension, and provides more flexible options for scheduling shorter, less intense sessions over time.

Conclusion: A Journey of Reflection

Jane Gunn leaves the audience with a powerful message: mediation is not just about resolving disputes—it’s about reflecting on what truly matters in our lives. Whether in personal relationships, business partnerships, or international conflicts, stepping back from the brink and finding common ground can lead to healthier, more fulfilling outcomes. Her latest book, which explores these themes through the lens of storytelling, serves as a reminder that conflict can often be the bridge that helps us cross into greater understanding and peace.

This summary captures the essence of Derek Arden’s enlightening discussion with Jane Gunn, offering both practical tips and profound reflections on conflict resolution. Be sure to check out the full episode to dive deeper into Jane’s unique and thoughtful approach to mediation.

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• https://derekarden.co.uk
  
• https://negotiationexpert.co NEW
  
• https://negotiatorspodcast.com
  
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/negotiatingexpert/