After a month-long sabbatical devoted to fireworks, hot dogs, and the peculiar patriotism of horror fandom (because nothing says “Independence” like a masked killer with a machete), the goblin hosts of My Bloody Podcast have returned, caffeinated, feral, and slightly sunburned, to once again invade your eardrums with Episode #173. The break was, in their words, “a celebration of everything America and horror,” which really just meant consuming unhealthy amounts of barbecue while rewatching Jaws and The Purge in equal measure. But now they’re back weekly, relentless, and ready to shove their ghoulish thoughts directly into your brain.

This week, Bryan, Preston, and Chelsea hurl themselves headfirst, greased, and somehow down a pink jelly slide into The Matrix (1999). Sure, it’s not technically horror, but what is horror if not the creeping dread of realizing that reality is a computer simulation, that you’ve been living in a pod your entire life, and that Hugo Weaving, looking like a cursed Rivendell tax auditor, might chase you through a marble lobby while robotic calamari prepare to enter your navel? Also, gruel. Endless, joyless gruel. If Hell has a menu, it’s probably just that bowl of gray paste.

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