Interview with Stephanie Chase,  Children’s Minister of Champion Forest Baptist Church in Houston, Texas

All parents are not the same. They are very different and it's our responsibility to recognize their differences. One of the best ways to be able to recognize the differences in parents, is to be able to recognize their personality types.

When you see a parent always make eye contact, smile and ask them, 'How are you doing?' Engage them in conversation, 'How's your family?' and try to get them engaged in conversation.

I found that for me, a lot of times, if I am talking to a mother, that women like to talk about their families, and if I am talking to a father, men like to talk about their work.

Once you engage a parents in conversation, I always try to look for some of the basic personality characteristics, because once you know their personality type, then you can begin to recognize how to communicate better with them, so ...

The basic four personality types are: first of all there's sanguine and you can recognize this parent right off the bat.  They'll be very talkative.  They're story tellers, they're animated and typically when you're in ministry, or maybe you're in a weekdays program, they'll be the ones who engage you with lots of storying conversation and you may be at the door of the classroom forever hearing about their lives.  Also that parent, something to remember is that they're very forgetful, so if you ask them to volunteer for something, or to bring something to help out in your classroom, they might forget. Don't go too hard on them if they do.

Another personality type that is easy to identify is the choleric.  This is a parent who really likes to be in control, they're very goal oriented and sometimes they come off as a little bossy.

That's just their personality type, so may show up at your classroom door and say something like, "Mark, in your classroom, I've noticed that you are not telling the Bible story in a certain way, you might want to try this way," and your thinking, wow, okay, whatever, rude.  They're not trying to offensive; they're just stating something that they see. They are typically to the point.

I found out that people, if I'm in any kind of discussion or debate, and maybe it is with a choleric. That if I just find what they are right about, in it. They may be right about the whole thing, but there's something that they're right about and say, "You're right about this." That's exactly right, that you're helping bring down the temperature of whatever the heated moment is because you're creating a common ground, and so someone comes in and upset; I have found, find out what they are right about.

Another personality type, is the melancholy and this would be your perfectionist parent. They're very analytical, they have high standards and they like things to be perfect. You can usually recognize a melancholy parent by the way they are dressed or their child is dressed. You know that little girl who comes into your class on Sunday with a perfect little dress and a matching socks and a matching bow.  Her father or her mother is probably a melancholy perfectionist and they, she likes, or he likes, for them to be in order.

The last one is your pragmatic, and they're your very peaceful, quiet, easy going parent. They don't want to cause conflict, they just your easy going person, and they're very pleasant to be around. They're great for someone like me, because I tend to be a fast mover and they help keep me calm.

The more you get to know someone, the more you can identify some of these things. I like the way you said, a person who's fun, a person who is needing control or in control, a person who is a perfectionist, and someone who is peace and quiet. Those are pretty easy things to kind of spot, but even to surface begin with, wouldn't you say that, just realizing if they're an extrovert or an introvert, so I know that I don't come on too strong,