We've heard so many times, good relationships start with having a good relationship with yourself.
How do you do actually create that? And what effect does it have on your marriage? 
Mind-body and compassion coach Rena Reiser starts by reminding us, the first step is to take a step back, pause and look at the situation from an observer's perspective. Look at your situation with objective, compassionate eyes. Rena explains it really well with the example of a 3-year-old dropping his lolly on the floor. Even if the child can't get a new lolly, a compassionate parent would hug him and be there for him so he feels loved and supported. 
Being compassionate with yourself allows you to tap into your needs. What is it that I need right now? Love? Connection? Space? Don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean that you're meant to be taking care of yourself by yourself.  We don't live in a cave in some random mountain. In order to ask for the help we really need, we've got to first be intuned with ourselves, have that real connection with ourselves so we get what we really need. This obviously flows into your relationship, because as you learn more about yourself, you'll learn more about your spouse and you'll be able to understand him better; give her what she really needs. 
Rena Reiser was once a linear, black-and-white thinking programmer who saw life as a math formula, who tried to figure out life’s problems through over-analysis until she realized that lasting change really happens when we get out of our heads and into our bodies. Now she's a mind-body & compassion coach, facilitator, writer, and host of the Tune In Podcast, where she helps women break out of the people-pleasing, perfectionist and self-critical patterns that are getting in the way of their inner calm and balance.
Connect with Rena: www.tuneinjournal.com

Looking for easy ways to make BIG impact on your marriage? Head over to GeniusRelationships.com  It's called Genius for a reason;)