Christopher Lochhead Follow Your Different™
205 Legendary Author Dushka Zapata
In today’s episode of Follow Your Different, we are joined yet again by the breathtaking Dushka Zapata. Dushka is one of our regular guests in the podcast and one of the most important and prolific writers this world has to offer. The world truly needs more of Dushka.
Additionally, in an act of radical generosity, Dushka has decided to make all e-versions of her published books available on Amazon, for free, starting March 17, 2021. Everything she has published will be available in ebook form for free within a 24-hour period. We highly recommend to go and check out the link and read her astounding books.
The Prioritization of Well-Being
The pandemic has changed everyone’s relationship landscape, and the glue that has held those relationships has modified its fundamental composition. Dushka discusses that the difficulty in prioritizing one’s well-being is due to the fact that oftentimes it is impossible to tell what exactly is the best for one’s well-being.
She shares that the only way to find the answer is to spend time alone, compassionately and gently, giving thought to what is genuinely best for oneself.
“Taking care of yourself is the most responsible thing that you can do to literally take care of yourself and your well-being. We are all like boats and we all carry other people who take care of the maintenance of the boat. If the boat sinks, you are useless to others. So what is it that you need to do for the boat, which is you? You need to be functional for others. The most responsible thing that we can do, the best thing that we can do, is to think about the best ways we can take care of ourselves.” - Dushka Zapata
The Pursuit of Happiness
Dushka discusses that her definition for the pursuit of happiness is less about being happy and more about the feeling whether her actions have a sense of purpose. Most people are trapped in a constant state of sabotaging their own happiness because they feel like it’s too much. When in reality, there is no logical limit to how happy one can become.
She encourages people to never believe mediocrity, low-grade despair, and to devise small steps to interests that bring one closer to happiness.
“There isn't a higher being monitoring your amount of happiness. So I think that if there were a first step. It would be to remove your own tendency to sabotage your own happiness. If there were a second step, it would be about identifying the wants that are real. And if there were a third step, it would be about truly understanding what the difference is between the superficial want and the deeper wants. If there was a step before that, it would be related to, what does it mean to make yourself a priority? And I think that requires a multi layered and peeling back of what is actually happening. What exactly is hurting? What exactly are we feeling responsible for when we're not?.” - Dushka Zapata
The Architecture of One’s Fabrication
Dushka and Christopher discuss how life is just the story that people tell themselves about the facts, people live in the architecture of their own fabrication. Dushka shares how it is worthwhile to perceive oneself as the person who thinks their thoughts rather than being one’s thoughts. This guarantees a life not filled with suffering over things that are uncontrollable and non-existent.
“To me, a really central part about learning how to love myself has to do with making a distinction between the things I believe that are not true. I have to look at the enormous amount of energy and effort that I expend taking care of things that were never my responsibility. These include all of the beliefs that I can just drop and nothing in my life would change. Basically maximum effort compared to minimum effort wo...