Ken Dreyer and I discuss The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier. Our conversation evaluates the book and examines Ken’s experiences putting it to work. Ken is not a coach. My hope is that this conversation shows how simple coaching techniques can help you be a better leader no matter what your role is. Conversation Highlights * You don’t have to be an official coach to benefit from the concepts in this book * Ken would re-title the book “How to ask good questions” * When you give advice over and over again you become the team oracle * The book lists seven good questions to ask and examines how each one helps * They aren’t meant to be a formula * You must build rapport–you can’t just ask the questions and be effective * How many times do you just provide the answer? * The power and effectiveness of silence * Taking notes on interactions at meetings * Increases engagement * Evaluate what’s going on for yourself * Privately vent if it’s not going well * Ask yourself questions privately that might change the situation or unlock how you can help * The valuable dimensions of asking one question (and closing your mouth) * Understanding and avoiding the Karpman Drama Triangle * Hero * Villain * Victim * Jim Dethmer elaborates on the Karpman Drama Triangle in this podcast https://fs.blog/jim-dethmer/ * Where the questions from The Coaching Habit fit (and where they don’t) and how you might decide * Thinking like an Intreprenuer * Where it makes sense to give advice * Joint participation in solving the problem vs. taking the whole thing on * How to help someone who is in a constant state of “I don’t know” * A great article by Rick Tamlyn on “I don’t know” (not mentioned and found after we recorded) * Steve Chandler: Agreements vs. Expectations (a game changer in any relationship) * If you are in a mentor role, consider how coaching (not giving advice) might create a more powerful outcome Credits * Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund * Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod All songs licensed under Creative Commons