Four of 6.4 million men caregivers muse on their varied experience, emotions, challenges, joys. We did it because we wanted to and we could. Great stories!

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Episode Summary

In 1968 the IRS ruled that Charles E. Moritz (Charles E Moritz vs Commissioner of the Internal Revenue Service) was not entitled to a deduction for expenses for the care of his dependent invalid mother. The IRS ruled the deduction was unavailable because he was a single man who was never married, the deduction being limited to a woman, a widower or divorce, or a husband whose wife is incapacitated or institutionalized. Ruth Bader Ginsberg took this case to the Supreme Court and won.  We've come a long way buddies.

Denise Brown of caregiving.com invited four men to participate in a panel at the 2018 National Caregiving Conference in Chicago about men as family caregivers. We were Ben Carter, Patrick Egan. Jolyon Hallows, and yours truly. Our personal experiences of caregiving differed widely. Yet we were all caregivers because we wanted to, we could, and we did. None of us thought of ourselves as caregivers until after we were caregivers or well after we started.

We are 4 of the 6.4 million family caregivers who are men.  Although our caregiving experiences vary considerably you can't generalize about men in caregiving from us.  What you can hear is that we found ourselves in caregiving before we knew what caregiving was. We did it because we could and we wanted to. We had many emotions and stresses, and we needed and got help. We were not alone. We are proud that we have been caregivers. We all four are trying to give back to the caregiving community.  You will find some resources in the show notes: links to my resource center and other resources. Starting with this episode  I will include a link to a full transcript that can be read by the deaf or those who'd rather read than listen. Stay tuned for part 2 of this two-part series on Men Caregivers.
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Contents
Episode Notes
Full transcript

00:00 Episode Intro
00:39 Podcast Intro
01:23 2018 National Caregiving Conference
02:17 Ben Carter: First time discovering health was fragile
03:55 How was it for your son?
04:26 What is the relationship between life coach and caregiver?
07:33 What does your son think of your career shift?
09:01 How does it feel to be a man in caregiving?
11:47 Patrick Egan: First time discovering health was fragile
12:51 What is the fun in technology for patients and caregivers?
15:44 Buying my mom a cell phone
16:56 How did training leaders affect your caregiving?
19:08 Family roles in caregiving
27:06 Jalyon Hallows: Discovering the first time health was fragile
28:33 Dealing with negative emotions
30:14 Impact of information technology and project management on caregiving
32:39 If you could recommend one electronic tool what would it be?
34:08 How did IT and project management inform caregiving?
36:02 How was your family involved?
37:36 Caregiver support group
39:09 How did you get respite?
41:27 Lay people talking with experts and entrepreneurs
47:10 Solving caregivers' problems
49:32 Conference calls, the family dinner table