God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #30
Our passage from the Word of God today is Hebrews 12:14-15. It reads, “Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.”
Our quote for today is from Maya Angelou. She said, “Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host.”
Our problem today is “The Problem of Bitterness in Your Life” (part 2) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.
Today, we will offer some Wise Counsel regarding dealing with Bitterness…
Bitterness is a poison that will destroy your relationship with others and hurt your relationship with God. When people are bitter, they cannot experience a full and healthy relationship with God. Forgiveness is the only way to get rid of bitterness and restore relationships with God and others.
Here are some action steps you need to take to get rid of bitterness in your life.
1. Accept
• Make a list of the persons who have hurt you.
• Next to each name, write what you needed from that person.
• Next to that, write how it made you feel when that person did not meet your need.
• In the last column write whether you think the person will ever be able to meet your need. Be honest.
• Accept your loss and grieve it.
2. Forgive
• Ask God to help you forgive. Forgiveness is letting go of anger and your quest for revenge. Realize that you are powerless to forgive through your own strength, but God does not ask you to do something without giving you His strength and power to do it.
• Ask God to help you feel compassion for your offender. Psalm 78:38 says that God is full of compassion.
3. Break the Chain
• Bitterness often runs through families. When a parent does not meet a child’s needs, that child can become bitter and is then unable to meet his or her own child’s needs. The chain can continue through several generations.
• Ask God to help you break the chain with your generation.
• Just as you would not expect a person in a wheelchair to run a marathon, don’t expect someone who is emotionally troubled to meet your needs—that person cannot. Ask God to help you have empathy for him or her.
4. Look Elsewhere
• Find somewhere else to get your needs met. If you are an emotional orphan, God will provide people to meet your needs.
• Be proactive and look for those God has provided to meet your needs.
• Join a women’s or men’s group or look for a prayer partner.
• If your mother did not meet your need for love and acceptance, find an older woman in the church who would be willing to mentor you. She can give you the love and acceptance your mother never could. Finding a man to mentor you as a father may also meet your need.
• If your husband or wife will not meet your need for friendship and intimacy, look around and see if there is a friend (of the same sex) or family member who is willing to be your friend and kindred spirit. Give of yourself to that person and meet each other’s needs.
In our next broadcast, we will continue looking at how to deal with the problem of Bitterness in your life