God's Solutions for Today's Problems #27

Our passage from the Word of God today is Proverbs 16:32. It reads, “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls."

Our quote for today is from Mark Twain. He said, “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Our problem today is "The Problem of Anger in Your Life" (part 5) from the book, "The Guide to Biblical Counseling" by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

Today, we will offer some Actions Steps on Anger:

The goal is not to be "anger free." Instead, it is to learn how to control your response to the present anger --- both the emotional and biological arousals that anger may cause.

1. See It

- Focus on the source of the anger. List the triggers. Until you can control the anger, you should avoid the triggers as much as possible.

- Learn to identify anger before it is out of control. How do you feel physically when experiencing anger? Do the following:

---Identify angry feelings while they are still minor. State out loud, "I'm feeling angry right now."
---Be aware of the first warning signs of anger, which may be physical changes. Anger promotes a sympathetic nervous system response (a physical state of readiness) and the following biological changes: rising heart rate and blood pressure, amplified alertness, tensed muscles, dilated pupils, GI tract disturbances, clenched fists, flared nostrils, and bulging veins.

2. Delay It

- Brainstorm ways to delay the expression of anger:

---Take a "time out"; temporarily disengage from the situation if possible (twenty-minute minumum).
---Perform light exercise until the intensity of anger is manageable.
---"Write, don't fight"; jot down troubling thoughts. This exercise is personal and writings should be kept private, possibly destroyed, not sent.

- Talk with a trusted friend who is unrelated to the anger-provoking situation. Don't just vent; ask for constructive advice.

- Pray about the anger, asking God to give you insight.

- Learn the value of calming. (A person in a state of fury is not equipped to deal healthily with an anger-provoking situation. Calming will help you let some of your angry feelings subside before expressing anger in a healthy way. Note here that Ruminating is the opposite of calming, and makes anger worse by repeating destructive thoughts about an anger-producing event.)

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