This week’s friend is what we call “handsome” in the classical sense, and hilarious in the classical sense, his taste in music is great, I know this because we recently discovered we have the same seminal album. That’s when I knew I had to talk to this guy, and find out what ELSE we have in common – so let’s do just that! It’s @YuckyTom on Twitter and OLD TOM to you!

Questions from Twitter

how many Walmart greeters have you kissed, and what are you going to do to get that number up?— llama (@LlamaInaTux) July 23, 2019

Let's roll:1) If you were a new member of KISS, what would be your character/make-up deal?2) What's your most embarrassing dating experience? Hopefully something that involves comically losing your pants3) How do you manage to walk the line between nice guy & bad boy and why?— Todd 'Papi' Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) July 23, 2019

Dear Tom, please answer my very important questions. how many soda flavors can you mix in one mug and how many soda flavors SHOULD you mix in one mug??— taffy b ◬ (@singwithTaffy) July 23, 2019

Hi, here is my question for Tom: "Who is the best?"— JoelKrass (@JoelKrass) July 23, 2019

What is your favorite tweet reenactment that involves me being removed from Costco?— Dave Cactus (@dave_cactus) July 23, 2019

If you could only read one book for the rest of your life which one would you pick and why?— ▪️EffYeahSteph▪️ (@eff_yeah_steph) July 23, 2019

Where do you stand on beans on toast?— Phil P (@advicefromphil) July 23, 2019

How many whiskey shots would it take to turn you into a real life version of your “ayy grl” tweets— Asia (@AsiaDNYC) July 23, 2019

Top 5 gangs of ALL time?— Michael Armstrong (@The_Big_Drink) July 23, 2019

Tom what dat mouf do— CapriCornyCaitlin♑ (@CapriCornyCait) July 23, 2019

When was the last time you cried and how many coins can you fit in your hog?— Saddington 2 ✈️