Episode 143 Strength in Struggle and Fighting for Mental Resilience Watch Now https://youtu.be/q_aQzHSgoGQ Listen Now Description

In this episode, Chris Burns welcomes personal friend, veteran, fighter, and mental health advocate Matt Mills onto the show to bring focus and intention to a needed conversation surrounding mental health and how fitness and sports can improve quality of life immensely. From looking into strengthening communities and connections to hearing a powerful piece of Matt’s story, this episode shows the importance of dedication to life. Thank you, Matt, for sharing so vulnerably and continuing to fight every day!

Talking Points Introduction to the Show Meet Matt Strengthening community Getting good at failing Athletics during development A piece of Matt’s story Overcoming the odds Dedication to life Plan for difficulty, set up for success A powerful recovery story Final thoughts Quotes “When kids are in sports, there is a very good chance they will fail. And I think failure is such an important part of [growing up]. You are going to go and put yourself out there, and you may win or you will lose, and that is the amazing part about it” -Matt Mills Episode Transcripts Episode -143- Transcripts

even kids are in sports there is a very good chance they’re going to fail Yeah And I think I think failure is such an important part of that I get the gift of sitting around people with tremendous life experiences and I just get to listen Mental health is is absolutely important and you’re going to find help and community in in that So I you know I want to destigmatize it by talking about it [Music] Hey everybody and welcome to another amazing and exciting episode of Finding Peaks Yours truly president and founder of Peaks Recovery Centers Christopher Michael Burns Joined today by a good friend colleague professional you name it where we bring on amazing professionals but even better humans We have Matt Mills here today Matt thanks for joining us today Thank you Thanks for having me on Absolutely man And I you know lately I’ve been kind of I haven’t really talked to Cove about it but I’ve been thinking about bringing on a series where we just bring on thoughtful conversations that matter Yeah You know and um I’ve had the opportunity to know you for the last couple of years and kind of want to start with where we met because it’s an exciting topic for me Yeah Well for me too Yeah And that’s in the jiu-jitsu gym And I’ve been talking a lot about the jiu-jitsu gym and framing it in the context of just authentic opportunistic and connected community So much so that in a couple weeks here we’re going to be bringing on professor um and professor DC as well But um why did you join jiu-jitsu i think this is really telling because uh what we do here at Peaks Recovery is engage people in communities and allow them for a moment maybe the first moment in their life to experience something so authentic that you get to experience every day and that’s being seen valued and heard What was that like and why did you do it well why I joined started out I mean actually um it was why my kids joined first So we’d been listening to the podcast and my sons were younger at the time like nine and 10 and I mean at then that age they’re tiny you compared to they’re monsters now you know Yeah Uh so we you know we had been listening to Jaco and he’s like you got to do Jaco Willink and he’s like you got to do jiu-jitsu Everybody’s got and the boys were like dad let’s go do jiu-jitsu That sounds like fun And so um it was at a time where like they were trying out different things and I was like “Guys I don’t know I don’t know anything about this.” I said “We could do something.” And I and I said “Let’s talk about it.” And they I made them ask me for like six months And then one day in the summer time it was like April or No it was coming into summer and I was like “Let’s just go down to the this gym prime and let’s try it out.” And so we signed up Uh Cam was there No there was a somebody else was there who was a brown belt at the time I can’t remember his name He ended up going to another gym but he was there and we signed up the boys and that was six or seven years ago Okay And so no wonder they’re so good Yeah Yeah Exactly And so we So then we were for three years we were jiu-jitsu parents just watching Just watching Okay We’d go and we’d we’d just watch and then I’d see all these adults do it and I’m like that’s that’s nuts That’s awesome And then eventually my wife and I were like you know what we we we were like I was actually at a pretty low point in my life I was struggling because I was my career I was I was trading uh for a prop firm before that and my career was like was petering out I was like not having a lot of success and I was feeling down and I was like I couldn’t find a home and so I was like you know and I’ve been going to the gym quite a bit so I was getting in better shape and I’d come off an a shoulder injury and then I use that as an excuse of why I didn’t start jiu-jitsu when the boys did Yeah I get that But you know that’s really not the reason Yeah And then so then my wife was like “Well I’m doing it.” I was like “Great I’ve got to do it then.” So then she went on Friday night I went on to Saturday morning Talon tapped me out like six times that first role And uh and I was hooked I was like “That’s it was just incredible.” And so we just I mean and then ever since then it wasn’t even a discussion We’re doing jiu-jitsu And there was like that first year I was at two days a week and I was dying every time Just like two days a week Yeah Just getting killed And just getting Yeah Just getting killed my my joints were killing me Everything was hurting Ice and then I was like “Okay I need to get focused on recovery I need to get focused on getting in better shape.” And then I mean it was just it was rough And then you know over time now I’m at like five six days a week of training And I I just love it And now I’m I’m a blue belt and it took you know that took time and I’m having fun Yeah So it it got us there Like once we started it wasn’t a question It was like we’re doing this and it wasn’t like I’m going to give it a try This is This is who we are now Now all four of us do jiu-jitsu We all four compete and we all I mean we fly That’s We stopped skiing We stopped snowboarding I love this Yeah We win We We That’s all we do We take one vacation a year that’s not jiu-jitsu I love how you piggyback some off of the jiu-jitsu things too Yeah It’s great Yeah Yeah You know since we’re here Yeah Since we’re here Yeah Since we’re going to be in Florida we’ll stay an extra day and go to the beach Yeah For pants Exactly Yeah I thought that was pretty cool Maybe we’ll do that next year Yeah It’s uh it’s it’s really really cool something that I was thinking of while you were talking as you were sitting there kind of being jiu-jitsu parents What was it you know some of the things that really get in the way of growth and thriving for young people that we had the opportunity to engage with are really really tough developmental stages of their life of which there’s not a lot of good child adult relationships around You I I know through putting my kids in jiu-jitsu but I want to ask you that first three years what was it about prime what was it about community what was it about the people that you really saw an impact through your kids because I get to sit with them now Yeah And I can speak to that most certainly in the last couple of years But what was it that you saw was so beneficial for young people Everyone who starts jiu-jitsu sucks at jiu-jitsu There is I I don’t care if you’re a D1 wrestler like Tyler you know or or if you’re you know you know a black belt in karate like I don’t know if you know the older guy Steve Yep Yeah But I mean everybody who starts jiu-jitsu sucks at it And you all you go out and if you go compete when you suck at something you’re going to you’re going to lose And they kept losing for years They lost Jack and Cus can you imagine them losing now not much And I mean they lost every single time getting their butts kicked just every single time we just go and we like oh man I feel so bad And it was the response to that It was like hey that’s jiu-jitsu Get out there and keep going Push yourself That’s good I see it in you You got it That was the response from Cam and from coach or from coach Cam and from professor Marcelo that and that happened every single time and from all the other professors that went and coached everybody everybody who there the whole time they’re like no big deal move on and I think that kids need that like they’re scared to fail but in jiu-jitsu you’re gonna fail for a long time and then even when you win you’re gonna fail again Yeah And so that’s what you start to learn this life lesson that we talked about before which is like failure is a part of this process Yeah Failure is part of life and you’ve got to get good at failing Yeah I was talking to Jay the other day which is another jiu-jitsu friend Yeah And and we were talking about our jobs because a lot of times in our jobs like I’m a real estate agent and he’s a mortgage broker and a lot of times you know we we we don’t get the deal done and we fail and it’s like okay that’s that’s fine We got to just we can’t we got to keep moving That’s what’s great about jiu-jitsu and life and everything is because it’s it really does reflect life as you know you’re going to fail and you got to pick yourself up and keep going What are you gonna do quit you know that that’s just not an option for me Right It’s not an option especially if we if we’re trying to drive into what is so important which is today And and I I love what you talk about in the failure piece as it pertains to kids and the developmental stages of life I think sometimes we miss that opportunity today to really engage with that and wrestle with that And to your point so long as we’re putting you know Coupe said before the show you know we’ll be the sum total of the seven closest people around us instantly as we thrust into community you know professor and Cam and some of these uh adults young adults and mature adults become these connected connective tissue if you will to the family system and really foster and engage growth one day at a time You know it’s so interesting because when I got into recovery at 22 years old I had none of not a lot of that growing up And and so they said “Go to Alcoholics Anonymous.” And I’m like “Well I don’t want to go to Alcoholics Anonymous.” It doesn’t make sense But I show up there They keep saying never give up They say one day at a time They say keep coming back They’re great humans There is failure because it’s a part of life but we show up 24 hours at a time and we put our best foot forward And I just love that your kids have the opportunity I got a question for you I know this is your podcast but I I love it Uh when you were in high school were you in a sport you were Yeah And did what what sport was that if you Basketball and football Basketball Football Okay Now I mean you had And so you had did you have a very positive coach in that experience And a lot of times it was it was like that one bright light that I had Okay I remember on my uh my junior year right into my chemistry You’re going to love this People are going to love this I actually have a college degree as well Um but so on my chemistry final junior year I remember my mom um was addicted My dad wasn’t in the picture My mom had actually came to me that year and said and and bless her heart it was just where we were at Um she’s like “Hey I just don’t have anywhere for you to live this year I don’t know what I don’t know what to tell you.” And I said “Well I’m um I’m going into my senior year Mom This is crazy You know it’s nuts.” So I’m sitting with a buddy and anyway I ended up living with him my senior year Prior to that I’m sitting there on this chemistry final and I know the chemistry final is going to inform football season next year Like I have to get a C on this thing But I look at the material and I know none of it So I write a letter to Miss Rom Miss Rom’s a friend of mine on Facebook Oh yeah Yeah I know Miss Rom Like I was like I’ve already wrote her “You do not know what you’ve done for me as a sober adult.” Yeah So I write this thing and I said “Miss Rahm the only thing good in my life the only thing that I’m looking forward to the only thing that gives me any hope is playing football and playing basketball with my friends I understand if you all need to take that away because I have bad grades and I don’t show up and I have 48 absences and it’s part of the rules and I understand that I respect the rules But Mr Rom if you take this away I’ll lose everything I won’t graduate high school I won’t care about having a place.” I’m just being very honest if I can’t play football and I can’t be here that’s what I do She gave me a C minus She gave a C minus She gave me a C minus That was a gift And it was a gift from God Yeah And I got help And so there was people who showed up on my path Talk about community The Miss Roms the basketball coaches the football coaches the coach KMartis where I would look up and just say “I’ll do anything you tell me to.” Yeah Because I trust and believe in you so much Well and it’s what’s interesting about that is is you know in life when you go when when kids are in sports there is a very good chance they’re going to fail Yeah And I think I think failure is such an important part of that It’s like that that you know you go and put yourself out there you’re going to win or you’re going to lose and it’s and in but what’s amazing about that is the process and a lot of other aspects of life there’s not it’s not the clear line That’s why kids need sports I you know they need some sort of sport Yeah They need to be put themselves out there fail They need to win They need to win sometimes they need to lose sometimes They need to understand how that works because that’s life It creates it really instantaneously Yeah It’s like Cove you know he’s like this lacrosse player doing all these things shattered his knee It’s junior year you know he’s going to do this that and the other thing All these and so you get really what happens with sports too is we get really overoupled with it and engaged with it And then we get into these identity and purpose issues but that’s life But then it breaks it away and makes you do something else Exactly Because you can’t you can’t be just one place Exactly And that’s life And I think it’s important to experience that inflection point Jiu-jitsu sports and those things do it I’ve been I’ve been quoted lately of being like man I talk my kids out of ball sports all the time Yeah Yeah Because I just you get so much more of the physicality Talk about what we do Yeah The sematic opportunity to release in community sometimes when you put hands on each other And and I know it happens in yoga and it happens but a lot of times in mixed martial arts you have this community and I think it’s very rare to have a community where we go in I couldn’t believe it when I first started Yeah That like at 6:30 a.m I’m like signing this waiver I’m like these dudes are killing each other But they’re like best friends Yeah It’s like they would do anything for each other They look like they’re going to kill each other They bring themselves to that and then and then they’re like hugging afterwards laughing about it It’s so beautiful saying “Dude that was awesome It was It’s so cool.” And that’s very I think that’s a very um unique thing to mix martial arts or maybe it’s specific to our gym or Brazilian jiu-jitsu or whatever it may be But to be able to like really put some force on somebody and then release it and then give them a hug and tell them to have a great day man Yeah And wish them well and you know that they believe it and mean it Yeah That’s a really cool thing to be a part of It’s a I don’t it’s hard to put a word on how that what that is Yeah Because it’s it’s something different That’s that’s for sure Yeah The only thing I can relate it to is something that I say all the time and it’s that it’s that piece where you know it’s nice to be seen valued and heard in your family And some sometime oftenimes that’s synonymous with a good healthy family system but it’s a whole different bag of worms to experience that in community Yeah To be real valued in community And I think a lot of times that’s what a lot of our clients struggle with is they they have been devalued in community because they’ve been attached to kind of the a wrong community or a negative community or their family itself is a bad community Exactly Yeah How did you you know Matt comes from a huge family um eight siblings Yeah Well seven siblings Seven siblings Eight kids in Yeah Eight kids in their family You know and everybody chooses different communities and engages with different things How have you steered clear or how have you potentially been a part of these negative communities and found your way out of them to be sitting where you’re at today that’s a great question
Um I’ve always felt like this push away from that negative that negative behavior And so whether it be you know just talking bad about people or um or you know doing the wrong things you know drinking too much or doing drugs or anything like that I’ve always just felt like this is not right This is dragging me down I need to be better and I’m not trying to be I’m not I don’t need to be better than other people I just need to be better for myself Yeah And I’ve always kind of felt like that And so like when I after my family community you know I joined the Navy and I joined the submarine force That’s right Yeah Yeah And I tell you that that could be good and bad community right there Yeah I mean you pull into port that’s a bad community Yeah Because you’re drinking way too much You know I see it could be good it could be bad you know but there’s there’s multiple communities on a submarine too You know there’s there’s there’s Ford guys which called coners and there’s nukes which in the engine room we called we were nukes And even within that there’s all these little separate communities all these separate tribes And so you know I fell prey to that I I was part of the bad community I went out and drank too much encouraged people to drink and and you know it it it affected me It affected my health And then you know so but eventually I had to I felt like and I don’t know what it was that I just decided I’m going to put this down Did you go to college did you go to Navy the Navy at 18 At 18 Okay 17 actually Jeez Yeah Dang Yeah Yeah I went to boot camp and then um in Orlando and then I stayed there for power school and then I went and then I went to prototype in South Carolina Then I went to San Diego and stayed there for eight years Cool So I was on the Salt Lake City for uh five straight years Then I went to shore duty and then they found out that I was going to get out So they sent me right back out to sea as an LPO and I got to do another deployment finish out my last year So how many years were you in 10 years six months and 23 days and four hours He’s like I remember I think it was right around four or five hours but it was different time zones So yeah you bring up a good point too And what was that transition like out of there that was tough I mean honestly I got out and I didn’t have I was a drift for a long time Like well you know I was going to hike the Pacific Crush Trail So I I had that goal So that was my first thing I was going to do So I had this whole plan I laid it all out I got my food all boxed up I got everything ready to go And then the night before I went I went down to Mexico with my buddies and we went and I ate this ate at this uh Brazilian steakhouse Oh no And I got up the next day and I was like “I’m good I’m good I’m sorry.” And we went we drank way too much that night And so they dropped me off at the trail and I’m hiking by myself Way like 60 pounds on my back and I had not hiked but more than a few miles I get about five miles in and I start throwing up and I’m crapping myself and I’m throwing up and I had food poisoning Oh my god So I hiked another 15 miles and I was like Yeah it was rough I I I stayed the night I finished the the next day I stepped I stepped over a um a rattlesnake that morning Scared the poop out of me And then and then um I called a friend up and said “I’m done.” And they they’re like “What?” And I was like “You don’t understand the night I just had.” Yeah And you know that was that was a big failure for me So I was really that was like my first big goal right after I got out of the Navy and I just fell flat on my face But then I got I decided all right I’m going to leave San Diego So I moved to Fort Collins and that’s where Robin and I met Oh okay And so so Robin in in a sense she really helped me there because we started dating like five minutes after I moved to town Literally I love it You’re like “Hey.” She helped me move my stuff into my storage unit We knew each other in high school We dated in high school Oh okay Cool But we back when I was 15 and now we’re 30 Wow And so we So we started dating and then um I I got a job right away I got an apartment and then um we got engaged We bought an engagement ring three weeks after we started dating Cool And we you know we were engaged a couple and then we got so that we our first date was September 11th 2005 And we were married in May of 2006 Oh wow Yeah Sweet And we’ve been married coming up on Yeah 18 and a half years Little love at first sight Well not really first sight Yeah I always tell Cass I was like “I love you.” She’s like “Yeah right.” But it was it was like I mean we were connected That’s cool And she you know big backpacker So she’s been in like grad school or something She What’s that was she in grad school when you got No she was she had just finished medical school and residency and she was actually in her first practice Oh wow And I was going to college I started going to college and I and I was working a job at a factory Okay And then we then we moved to Indiana and then so I then we had once we started having kids I stayed at home with the kids and I kind of put college and everything on pause and I actually never finished college Um but then I I had worked I’d worked my way into the financial markets and I’d gotten into that into that career later on Yeah But for a long time I just I stayed at home with the boys and I homeschooled them Yeah How long did they homeschool all the way through the grade All the way through seventh grade Okay Cool Yeah Yeah I really love that setup that you have for him now That’s a Yeah that’s a killer situation where they kind of have a hybrid schedule and and I have a unique situation with my sons like like where we we’re really close sometimes a little too close Yeah No I think it’s it’s it’s the right amount you know It’s interesting man And um I was I thought to myself was I going to bring this up today and I am now Um but your son came to me the other day We train you know we train on Tuesdays They show up at 6 a.m They get in the plunge Um it’s cool to be a part of Um I love that type of energy I love that type of discipline I love that type of integrity where you show up early stay late you just move into the world with some pace And your son’s doing a school project where he’s like “Hey my school is having me pick someone I think that’s living the American dream.” And uh I didn’t know this Yeah Yeah And he and he said I just think makes me emotional kind of talking about it because you know I would have never been asked that Yeah Yeah 20 years ago And you know I even told my wife and I was like “Man I can’t believe I was like “That’s really cool.” You know she’s like “That’s awesome.” And it’s like it’s interesting because I look at his father and I think that’s someone I would consider to be living the American dream because you you come out of situations and adversity and difficult things and no matter what we just we just show up It’s this very recoveryoriented thing I think for you it’s both and it it has to do with kind of being an older sibling as well and um wanting to show up for people but you have this authenticity about you as you move through community and culture that I think not only attracts people on the real estate side in a market that’s um really difficult to navigate right now from a trust perspective and a connectivity perspective but in life and in family And I see the way that your boys look up to you and I hear the way that they talk about you and that is that comes from nothing other than being there with them currently Yeah You know which is really really powerful man And so the you know to have you on the show today um the gift is all mine Oh I appreciate it That’s fun Really really appreciate it I wanted to touch on something that when I first met you or maybe just after I met you I had learned but I learned about it specifically before we went to a world master jiu-jitsu tournament Okay And I learned that you had a health issue a pretty significant health issue not just a health scare This is a very serious thing Yeah Um would you be willing to talk about that a little bit and how that message came and what you did yeah So you know in jiu-jitsu we bang our heads all the time Yeah we do So I I’d been suffering from vertigo in class and I was like I don’t this is not making sense And it was like I mean it was bad And so I went and um I went to my primary doc and I was like hey listen I I don’t know what’s going on and so let’s let’s get an MRI done He’s like it’s probably nothing He said but I’m going to send you to physical therapy and I’ll get you an MRI You’re getting dizzy all the time I was it was it’s it’s like vertigo and like I stand up and the world everything would spin I had to stop training for a while because of it Um because I could not every time I leaned back I everything was just spinning It was bad Um and so and so anyway so I get so I get the MRI So I get the result I I go to the MRI and I’m like this is nothing I’m just going to I’m just I’m like this is in my this this is nothing Yeah I I get home and already the results on my computer and and and and I open up the thing and I said it said you have a a lesion in your brain and in the center of your and it’s a central neuroscytoma most likely And I was like you have a brain tumor And I was like I was like I have what i what and I called my wife up and she’s um she’s on the way to a to a meeting and I was like I I really wish I wouldn’t open those results up and she’s I told her what it said and she she’s like do you want me to come home and I was like I have no idea I don’t feel anything I’m numb And um and then so she’s the medical professional not me So I was like kind of trying to take cues from her cuz I’m like feeling like I got hit by a truck Yeah And so she’s like “All right well I’m going to go to my meeting and I’ll come back.” So she comes back early and she’s just balling And I’m like “Oh [ __ ] I’m in trouble.” Like I’m in big trouble Like um and so yeah it was like um if like that cue of that reaction was so shocking to me because she does not cry very often and she’s very stoic and very driven person And so when that happened I was like it was it was a terrible shock and I was like what am I going to do i had no idea So um so we I mean for for weeks or for like a week we didn’t know what what was going like what was going on So I was like okay So I we immediately called I got a buddy of mine who’s a neurosurgeon and I play poker with him and so I was like dude I’m going to come see you He’s he’s I was like I was like I need to get I need to get in as soon as possible He’s he got me in like in a couple days and I go down there and he’s like “I’m not touching this This is too rare.” He’s like “I don’t know what the heck to do with this.” And so I I And so in the meantime like the three days before that um some of my wife’s partners had said “Okay this is what you’re going to do.” And you’re going to go to MD Anderson in Texas This is what you’re going to do And and so we just said “Roger that.” And went and did it And so I I got I called I got on the phone with MD Anderson I got a referral sent And so we got an appointment So my wife and I fly to him fly to Houston like this is the next week And so and the whole time I’m like my my my mind is on fire I don’t know what’s going on I’m I made the mistake of googling it And and I’m like I’m dead Yeah I’m dead in six months And so which you know that’s been a year so come on calm down a little bit But it’s it’s it’s like I I was terrified And so I called my dad up and um called my dad up that that day and I told him I was like and he’s like you the way you face this is going to define the way your boys look at you And and then um and so that really gave me the strength to sit up and say you know this is a fight that I’m going to fight I’m not going to just I’m not going to just be okay and and I’m gonna I’m gonna pick myself up and be the dad and the husband that I have to be because I don’t have a choice Mhm And then um so we went to Houston and we talked to you know we talk we’re talking to the best neurosurgeons in the country and um and it’s it’s benign but like the the surgeon said he said there’s nothing benign about a tumor that sits right in the center of your brain And so we go um and and he initially he’s like we’re going to take it out we’re gonna get it scheduled for for like next week and it’s coming out and I’m like dang deep Yeah it’s it’s and I was and so it’s terrifying So it’s it’s like um and there’s complications and so I you know it would it’s going to when it comes out and it’s going to come out someday it’s gonna it’s going to change me And so I have to I have to understand that and and face that um because they they separate the brain in half and then they go in and then they cut the corpus colossum and then they have to go into the into the ventricle to take it out and so that’s you know and then there’s going to be complications and so that’s that’s that’s in the future and I have to face that and it’s hard to it’s hard to face it but so then anyway back to the story we go I have to go back and forth I actually took my younger son Gus with me one time and we go back and forth had multiple MRIs I mean two and a half hours in an MRI machine is is awful And I’ve I now I’ve been I’ve had I go every four months to get an MRI I’ve got one coming up Um but we you know in the process of all this like right and then we go and we fight in tournaments and I’m like “Can I go fight in a tournament?” And and the surgeon’s like “I don’t care It’s no big deal.” And then I show him a picture of me getting then I right before I went to Master’s Worlds and you were there You saw this whole thing I got I got tossed with a Sodagari and I landed right on my head and it knocked me clean out Clean out It was bad If you look at the video it’s pretty bad I had heard your story just a piece of it like a week before right so you’re like “Oh no Oh wow What’s going on?” And and my wife runs out on the mat and they kick her off And um I had made a terrible noise when I when I got knocked out and I wasn’t moving and I could not believe when I looked at the video um how long I just laid there Yeah And it was scary Anyway so so I picked myself I I showed him that video because I was actually going to see my surgeon two days later So we flew we went from Vegas to home and then home to to Houston Robin and I did And I showed him the video and he’s like “Wow you’re really knocked out.” I was like he’s like “But your MRI looks good.” Because I got an MRI the next day Okay Thank God Yeah Make sure it didn’t like Yeah I know right wow So it’s stable now but eventually it’s going to have to come out But right when we were in Vegas um I mean 2024 just the the gift that never stopped giving My dad calls me up and he’s got stage four lung cancer Wow And so and then and then so I said “Dad the way you handle this is going to define the way your your children look at you.” And he’s like “That’s right Matt That’s right And so it’s um he’s he’s he’s doing really well right now But yeah he’s u but it’s it’s like he and I have had this unique experience this year where we look death in the eye and say not today Not today Yeah And so it’s going to come but it’s not today Yeah So and it’s hard to face it and it’s hard to talk about it Um and we don’t really talk about it at jiu-jitsu I mentioned it to a couple guys I was like “Dude I’m going through this.” Yeah And they’re like they were like “Oh no Do you need help?” And everybody at the gym is like “Do you need anything?” And and you know we’ve actually relied on on like Sarah has been a great help from the gym to help come handle the boys and stuff like that while we go to Texas So but it’s been um it’s been tough but I’ve just rededicated myself to the things that I find most important in life which are which is really just my family And I want to be the best example of a father and and the best husband I can be
And I hope I’m doing a good job I think you’re doing great my man So it’s hard Um but it’s it’s it’s tough Yeah But um well we train hard and then you know you we you’ve seen some of the successes we’ve had lately You guys are the whole family’s killing it So like um it’s so cool I went to Austin and I just I just kicked it and so that was a lot of fun I got gold medal there and I’ve got pans this weekend which I’m surprised you’re not going to The only reason I’m not going is I booked a trip to Kawaii and a half ago Okay So we’re going to do that or else I’d be right there with you guys for sure Yeah Okay Yeah It’s just such a such a unique and cool story of overcoming just a tremendous amount of adversity and you know peaks anymore I was in a group of women um last week have been just so blessed to be able to be in a peer group of um clients at Peaks Recovery Mondays and Thursday nights and I had 12 women in the group last week and it was everybody’s just dealing with quality of life issues We’d actually didn’t have anybody in there who was suffering from addiction It was the first time I’d been in a millu of 12 people where everybody’s just struggling with their mental health quality of life issues and in general suffering Yeah and what do we do with suffering and how do we move through it and you just gave just a really eloquent and connected presentation on like how you do that and it doesn’t mean that it’s not going to be difficult No plan for it to be difficult Yeah Yeah I had a good friend of mine who um went through a similar situation about 10 years ago and I sat down with him recently and he said plan for the best and he said plan for the worst which we we have you know we finances in order uh sat down with our estate lawyer and all that stuff but the but the piece that I had missed all this time planned for the best I had not planned to survive yeah words matter and I and when he said that to me I was like Okay I got to work harder Yeah And so I you know that’s now I mean I’ve been pushing myself I’ve been pushing myself but now I have a purpose I am planning for survival It may not happen but I’m planning for it I’m ready if I don’t And I’m you know my family will be ready But I am planning to survive Yeah And that’s so Yeah that’s that it’s really difficult to to see both sides of that coin Especially when you’re in a tough place Yeah especially when you’re hurting so bad And I couldn’t even think that way for so long So I feel for people who are suffering and they’re they’ve got a terrible life situation and they’re just trying to they’re just trying to survive dayto day They haven’t planned for the best or for the worst They’re just trying to make it till tomorrow Yeah It’s really really cool you know and in that effort are you putting that foot forward like you look at the family system and today you’re not surviving you’re absolutely thriving Oh yeah And it’s just a a really really cool thing And I think everybody can relate The people that walk through the doors of our program have been hit with these things sometimes Unfortunately for a lot of them it happened in these really crucially important developmental years by people that they really should have been able to trust Yeah But these life circumstances and these events happen to people and people need to move through it with community with powers greater than themselves with certain relationships Um and when we don’t have those things we feel like we talked about before the show isolated disconnected and all alone Yeah And that makes it not worth living It It really And it makes it so you just give up Like I have I have multiple I have my family which is my first and primary best community Y and then I have my Bible study group which is a bunch of old guys and you know some younger guys in there but a bunch of old guys Yeah And and you can’t go in that group and say something off off I mean you they keep you sharp I love that and they really and and we meet every Wednesday morning at 6:30 and they and every morning they’re there and they’re and they went through this with me and so that’s cool It’s been amazing And then and I have my jiu-jitsu So I have that physical community I have that family community and I have that spiritual community which I find to be such a important aspect of of my life Yeah Um especially facing something like this Yeah You know it really it really is It’s so interesting you say that I’m thinking of a couple things two things Um when I started in my recovery journey almost 17 years ago in July they told me to go to this ratchety old ass church and meet in the basement at like 6:30 and ask this guy if I could be of service and this crazy stuff And I’m like you guys are insane I was 22 years old and I had a plan to fail in life and they were getting in the way of it Yeah And they went in there and this guy Steve um his wife’s struggling right now I think she’s on hospice but he was an amazing human to me I walked in and he was 30 years sober man and he was sweeping the floors of this Unitarian church and I had a coffee position Well I got there at 4:00 a.m because the meeting started at 6 I got there at 4 a.m because there was 150 people in the home group and that’s what you had to do to make 17 pots of coffee So I would get there and they gave me a key to the church and I’m like “Oh man aren’t I worthy?” And I really mean that because people hadn’t given me a key to anything in a long time For good reason Yeah So I go into this church and this guy’s sweeping the floor Well it’s kind of like my day So by the third time I’m in there I’m like “Dude what are you doing here?” And he’s like “I’m so grateful you asked me that.” He says “My name is Steve I’m grateful recovering alcoholic 30 years.” He’s like “I have family I have grandkids You know I have resources and all of these things but um I got here 30 years ago and I had none of it And all they asked me to do was to show up on Wednesdays and sweep the floor in here.” And so I figured I’d just keep showing up on Wednesdays and sweeping the floor I’m like boom My head exploded And then he invited me It was him his buddy and the other guy And they all had 30 years He said “I don’t know why I believe this young man I don’t know why I’m saying this young man but I believe in you.” I was like “Whoa There’s a second guy to ever tell me that my entire life outside of my dad.” I said “Holy crap man Well I’ll follow you since you believe in me There’s not very many.” It’s not holy crap It’s the Holy Spirit Yeah Right It’s just it’s alive and well And so I show up to these guys and I’m taking notes They said “All I have I’m getting chills All I have to do is keep their coffee full.” I’m like “Oh my gosh I’m the coffee guy so this will be easy.” And like the three wise men I was taking notes They’re like “Talk to this person Talk to this person.” Before you know it I got done I was surrounded with community and great people And it reminds me of your Bible study I was like I get the gift of sitting around people with tremendous life experiences and I just get to listen Yeah When I learned that that was really really cool Yeah You know and my life as a as a result of that has enhanced tremendously Um because I don’t have the best way But I think we could figure it out Yeah I don’t know Yeah I’m an idiot fumbling through the dark Exactly man You know but when I surround myself with people who know what they’re doing well they’re idiots surrounding following around the dark Yeah But when we come together we can figure something out Yeah We all have pieces to the puzzle Yeah Cuz we’ve all failed in different ways and we’ve all figured it out And so sometimes you know we need that and we need oh yeah I’ve been there Y I’ve messed up like that before You know you you have that I’ve messed up like that before Oh yeah And that story is so important for so many people I’ve messed up in so many different ways Yeah And so and you’ve messed up And I mean but we we can see that in each other that we’ve both messed up but we come together and we can push Yeah And and that’s why you know that’s why I think you’re such an invaluable uh component of my son’s both my son’s lives because I you know I see somebody who’s who’s made mistakes figured some stuff out still a a faulted human being and they can learn from you And so that’s why you know not it’s you know when your 16-year-old says or at the time 15 says “Hey I’m gonna go hang out at at 40-y old dude this 40-y old dude’s house and and go lift with him.” I’m like “Who?” Yeah What what chris I was like I know I’ve talked to Chris a few times Yeah I said I got a good feeling about this but Yeah I mean but I was like okay and let’s see how this goes And then u but I mean it’s yeah but there’s there was most 99% of the time I would have said no but there was something that said trust Chris on this So Yeah I appreciate that man It’s been cool to be a part of your community personally professionally You know when I got the nod from Robin I was like boom Because she is she’s one of the most committed I really rever her discipline The way she shows up in life and tackles this thing one day at a time She she’s an example I tell you you know when anybody who thinks they’re disciplined um Robin is up there She’s up there And I I’ve tried to knock the top off but the way I’m just like man I’m I’m falling behind here Yeah I mean I I we we looked at how many jiu-jitsu classes we’ve been We started the same within this within a day of each other She’s got over a hundred classes more than me Wow 100 Holy smokes Yeah And she like blew out her Did she blow out her knee she had an AC and then she had ACL surgery So she was back in 6 months Uh she was back in 6 weeks She was like back on the mats in 6 weeks Wow And I Yeah I mean she she was dead I think she was going before that but I mean she just never left She’s fully recovered and she’s kicking ass Fully recovered Yeah I mean she’s just killing it Yeah Like we’re both ranked number one for pants That’s what I’m saying Like yeah I got my money on I got my money on black for sure Yeah Well man hey I appreciate you just uh blessing us with your presence today Uh family community and culture One of the greatest connected men in those corners that I had the opportunity to connect with Grateful that I could introduce you to the viewers here at Peaks Recovery Centers where mental health matters You clearly live a life where it matters to you And um thank you so much It does And I want to say something before we we finish about mental health Um I you know it’s such a stigmatized thing in our culture and I and I want to encourage people to go get the help they need you know when I was struggling and I didn’t really talk much about this but a few before I started jiu-jitsu well before that I was really struggling and I did not I took me forever to go get help and I went and found a therapist and and it was he was very very helpful in my journey And so I I want to encourage people especially you know I’m a veteran and a lot of veterans are just like they’re just not going to do it And I think it’s so important Yeah And so I want to I want to encourage anyone mental health is is absolutely important and you’re going to find help and community in in that So I you know I want to destigmatize it by talking about it Yeah That’s a big deal and I didn’t even I didn’t even know that about you Yeah You know I just figured you were doing something that was working So it’s a multitude of things and I appreciate you mentioned that too and especially as it pertains to veterans Yeah because we have a lot of veterans combat veterans military service members who just have kind of been indoctrinated with this idea that I don’t need any help Yeah And um I’ve learned throughout the process of working with a lot of courageous and heroic people um specifically veterans that that’s just not the case We all need each other Um and there’s an opportunity on the other side of that phone call So I appreciate you mentioning that Um Colorado realy to connect with the best realtor in Colorado specifically Colorado Springs actually just won an award and it wasn’t a cow award It was a bison award It was a bison award Let’s go What was that bison award about it’s charging the storm Charging the storm So charging into adversity instead of turning away from it Yep Because I started out in the the toughest year of real estate and I’ve been kicking butt So I’m having a lot of fun I absolutely love it It’s it’s a new new career path for me I’ve been at it for just about a year now and I’m I’m just I’m just having a lot of I’m having a blast Yeah So I know the people that uh have had the opportunity to work with you rever that opportunity Um I know just in a couple uh business professional conversations with you just the way that you hold presence and show up for other people and care about humans It’s kind of like it’s really connected within community And I think that’s probably why you’re one of those 10% of realators that is doing what they need to do one day at a time to make not just their lives but the people around theirs better Yeah My goal in real estate is not to make myself super rich with real estate I’m not too worried about that Yeah My goal is to help people and I and and really it’s it’s been a really great fit for me Yeah So we appreciate you Matt Until next time we’ll check in after pans and worlds in August Hopefully we’re bringing home the cling cling cling cling all over the place So hey man I appreciate you coming on Thank you so much Hey thank you Chris All right guys Until next time Peace [Music] [Applause] [Music]