On Episode #122 of Fear and Loathing in Cinema, your three brave, emotionally bruised hosts; Bryan, Dan, and Preston; return to the scorched ruins of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, the fifth installment in the dino-saga that now feels less like Spielberg’s evolutionary miracle and more like a deeply confused fever dream penned during a sugar rush in a Lego aisle. Originally released in 2018 to a public still high off Jurassic World’s billion-dollar dopamine hit, Fallen Kingdom asks: What if dinosaurs were auctioned to warlords like rare wines? What if a cloned child had an identity crisis and a raptor leapt through a fireball like it was auditioning for Die Hard 6: Cretaceous Drift? These are real questions posed by this film, which genuinely feels like a series of increasingly surreal dares from one studio exec to another. ("I bet you won’t write in a genetically-engineered murder dino named Indoraptor who stalks a child like it’s The Shining." “Watch me.”)

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