Is Getting Even Getting It Right?

The theme of seeking revenge weaves through entertainment and politics. It seems baked into the culture. In this Inside Out podcast, Martha talks with therapist Paula Rinehart.Her recent article in The Gospel Coalition is titled Gospel Hope for a Culture Fixated on Getting Even.

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 The theme of revenge weaves through our entertainment and politics, and seems baked into the culture. It’s presented as the inevitable option when someone suffers loss, humiliation, or betrayal. “Perhaps the most primal inclination is to get back at the other party, and I think the illusion is that that will stop it in some way, shape, or form, or it will prevent another hurt,” says therapist and author Paula Rinehart.

“Getting even just seems to drive the nail deeper, that great irony to it all,” she says. “I think, as we move about in the world, the possibility of offering people what could be the possibility of forgiveness really stands out in a culture that has decided revenge is the only option.”

“The first step out of that is bringing something into the light so it can be thought through or prayed through or talked through,” she says. “And that tends to step us out of the kind of knee-jerk reaction of just getting back at the person.”

 She points out that Jesus asks us to live in opposition to our instincts and open ourselves to the work of God in us. “Forgiveness of really significant things takes a power that’s greater—it’s not just something I’ve conjured up myself,” Rinehart points out. “It’s really based on the power of the cross and the power of God to bring something quite unexpected and redemptive from things that seem like kind of the end of the story to me.”

No one is saying forgiveness is easy. But the surprising thing is that when we go through the work of forgiving others, we benefit.  “What we don’t want to miss in our need to get even with someone is the real freedom that God can bring in our life in very deep places in us through forgiveness—forgiveness and the light of knowing that God is going to deal with this,” she says.

Read Paula Rinehart’s article Gospel Hope for a Culture Fixated on Getting Even. She writes for The Gospel Coalition and lives and works in Raleigh, North Carolina.