Every boy has a question in his heart:  Do I have what it takes to be a man?  

Today we’re going to find out where our boys can find the answer to their question.

WELCOME TO EPISODE 20 OF REDEEMING THE CHAOS WITH LAURIE CHRISTINE!

WILD AT HEART

In the last few episodes of Redeeming the Chaos, we were taking a look at the book Wild at Heart by John Eldredge.  We learned that our boys were created to uniquely reflect God’s image in their masculinity.  We learned that God created our boys to be wild and dangerous.  And we learned that God created our boys with the desire to fight battles and live for adventure.  If you haven’t yet listened to those episodes, go back and listen to Episode 18 & Episode 19.

Today, we’re going to wrap up this three-part series on the book Wild at Heart.  

AM I A REAL MAN?

We discussed in our last episode that all boys have a question in their hearts that needs to be answered:  Do I have what it takes? Am I powerful?  Am I a real man?

Boys go to their father for the answer to that question… “Am I a man, Daddy?”  

Often times and for many different reasons, fathers are not equipped or prepared to answer their son’s question.  Fathers often communicate to their sons in one way or another that they do NOT have what it takes, that they are weak & worthless.

Eldredge says:  “Every boy, in his journey to become a man, takes an arrow in the center of his heart, in the place of his strength. Because the wound is rarely discussed and even more rarely healed, every man carries a wound. And the wound is nearly always given by his father.” (p. 62)

Eldredge says over and over again that masculinity must be bestowed by other men.

“Every man wants to play the hero. Every man needs to know that he is powerful.” (p.12)

“Boys need to know who they are and that they have what it takes.” p.91

Eldredege says it is crucial for the dad to answer this question for his son, or the boy may be tempted to go elsewhere in search of the answer to his question.  As boys grow into their teen years, they are more likely to develop unhealthy romantic interests, in their search for identity and the answer to their question. But since masculinity must be bestowed and passed on by other men, our boys will never find the answer they seek from a romantic interest.  

WHAT CAN MOMS DO?

So, my question then for us Mommas is this:  how can we encourage our husbands and the fathers of our boys to communicate strength and confidence to our sons? How can we encourage our husbands to answer this crucial question for our sons: “Do I have what it takes?”  

Our boys need intimacy, closeness, and connection with their dads. Our Boys need their dad to guide them into adventure and to test their strength.

One of the things we can do is to talk with our husband’s about this topic. Encourage your husband to be intentional about spending time with your son… 

* Take him out hunting or fishing* Go on a hike together* Work on the car together* Go out for coffee* Wrestle on the living room floor* Set up a tent in the back yard and have a campout* Learning how to run the ...