I was just talkin’ with the boys back stage and boy is tonight’s message exciting: Wack It! That’s right gentlemen, don’t waste another minute — just wack it.  Hi, friends. Mort Lawry here to tell you about the new lightweight bat and ball set from Fuckitall Entertainment. You can trust this fine lightweight ball and bat, because it was brought to you by the same people who introduced you to S.C.A.B.A. (the self-contained-above-water-breathing-apparatus) just two short years ago. Crack that ball so hard you break a window in the next town over. The best part? Nobody will ever know, because it doesn’t make a fucking sound. Not even a little peep. The Lightweight Bat & Ball Set. Don’t be a dickhead, get yours today. Now, eMpTy Minds Radio number…oh I don’t remember. Just listen to the god-damned thing!
YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & TABI
YOUR CINEMATIC TITANIC: PAULIE

“Well, it’s wet. It’s all broken
_and wet. But, I take what I
_get. I got a crooked cigarette.
_Well, she left. She left me
_with a hell of a debt. But no
_sweat. I got a crooked cigar-
_ette. When it’s busted by the
_filter, there’s a trick that I 
_found. You break it on apart,
_then you turn it around. You
_slide it in easy, then you
_twist it in tight. Hey, buddy,
_got a light? Well, I’m full.
_Full of that malt liquor bull.
_But I’m set. I got a crooked
_cigarette. Well, it’s wet. It’s
_all broken and wet. But, I
_take what I get. I got a
_crooked cigarette.“
EM NEWS
– Intercontinental Ballistic Pancakes
– Run For The Border…of Stupidity
– And a whole lot more
MENTALTAINMENT
– You’re A Good Man, Trebek
– Cinema PaulieDiso is caught in the crossfire
– Sandler, Lipton, Corman
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– More of those delightful Shower Thoughts
– Plenty of great odd tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!
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