Have you ever tried washing that crusty gunk out of your entry way floor mat? It’s nearly impossible. If you are like billions of others, you would nearly rather pull out your pubes than wash that mat. Hi, friends, Matt Lawry once again to tell you to go ahead and hang onto those pubes just a while longer.  The geniuses over at MatEMatics have it all figured out. Just fill a thirty-gallon drum with two gallons of Crust-No-Mo and 28 gallons of water, leave it in a warm dry place for 17 days, dump it out and voila — a clean fresh mat that you’d be happy to eat pudding off of. Don’t wait. Order your 8 gallon handy pack of Crust-No-Mo today. Now, here we go with those fuck-faces over at EMR. They have Episode four-sixty-nine coming up next.
YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR CINEMATIC TITANIC: PAULIE

“This is a federal food fight.
_That means we callin’ out all
_you cooks and crooks. Oh, 
_me? My name is Humpty Hump.
_I’m the original big-nosed 
_rapper, baby. We’re about to
_sling hot food all over this 
_piece. Here we go, back in 
_the house for the 9-whatever.
_Food fight! With the bacon and
_egg sandwich...“
EM NEWS
– ItchMart
– Secret Flying Army of Colorado
– And a whole lot more
MENTALTAINMENT
– Props To The Prop Man
– Cinema PaulieDiso chills out
– Henry, Peart, Wurtzel
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– A bunch of Odd Tidbits
– The EMR Initials Game
– 2x Jerry’s Happy Note
– So much more, your head will spin!