Just a short little squirt ’til Christmas folks. Speaking of a short li’l squirt. Ha-ha. Never mind that.  Mort Lawry here, friends. I’d like to take just a moment out of your entertainment time to talk with you about a topic that I know will hit home — centerpieces. Sure, they’re important year ’round, but never as much so as during this festive season. Can we be candid? I thought so. Do you or someone you know have a shit-ass centerpiece?  I thought so. It doesn’t need to be that way. No, Ma’am. You need to talk to the fine folks at Piece of Arts. Don’t be ashamed. They have helped thousands of one-thumbed fucks just like you with beautiful table centerpieces that the blabbermouth next door…err…umm…people will be talking about a year from now. Make your holiday table look perfect, Kitty Kat, with Piece of Arts custom centerpieces. They are as unique as you are, snowflake! Now, on with the show — EMR Episode whatever the hell it says up there. Enjoy!
YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
“Bring us out a table and spread
_it with a cloth. Bring us out a
_cheese and of your Christmas
_loaf. Love and joy come to
_you and to you your wassail
_too. And God bless you and
_send you a happy new year.
_And God send you a happy 
_new year. Here we come a-
_wassailing above the leaves
_so green. Here we come a-
_wand’ring so fair to be seen.
_Love and joy come to you and
_to you your wassail too. And 
_God bless you and send you a
_happy new year. And God send
_you a happy new year.“
EM NEWS
– Party At Hamilton Beach
– I Wanted Fucking Jelly!
– And a whole lot more
MENTALTAINMENT
– The Talent Poachers
– Cinema PaulieDiso is taking it to the streets
– Smith, Shatner, Aiello
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!