Ladies and gentlemen, tonight I, Gerald Dinkins along with band leader Stu Ferdinand and calendar girl Virginia Hooters would like to introduce you to a special new beverage — Ass Load Hot Cocoa Mix. Yes, that’s right Ass Load. Simply head up some milk, pour it into your special mug and then mix in three scoops of Ass Load. When your mug looks like a big old fudgey pile, you know it’s time to add the whipped-cream.  Mmm…mmm…mmm. Ass load — ask Mom to pick up some up today wherever she likes to shop. Enjoy a steaming hot mug full while listening to EMR #451. You can’t fucking go wrong, friends.  Until next week…this is Gerald Dinkins signing off.
YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: JOSHERS
YOUR EM NEWS GIRL: TABI
YOUR SPECIAL GUEST: KERITH

“Two cigarettes in an ashtray.
_My love and I in a small cafe.
_Then a stranger came along,
_and everything went wrong.
_Now, there’s three cigarettes
_in the ashtray. I watched her
_take him from me. And his
_love is no longer my own. 
_Now, they are gone and I sit
_alone, and watch one cigar
_ette burn away. I watched
_her take him from me. And
_his love is no longer my own.
_Now, they are gone and I
_sit alone, and watch one cig-
_arette burn away.“
EM NEWS
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– Cows…Partying ‘Til Dawn
– She Knows Cops Eat For Free
– And a whole lot more
MENTALTAINMENT
– Where Are All The Women?
– Cinema PaulieDiso is barely getting by
– Rowling, Fabrizio, Linklater
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays, What We Watched + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Another Round of The Initials Game
– A cadre of Odd Tidbits
– Ask Wesley Willis
– So much more, your head will spin!