Hello, friends. I’m Stan Glostman, your host. I’m here, tonight, to tell you about Jizz Squirt Hand Soap. It’s so velvety and creamy and healthy, you won’t believe how good it feels on your hands. If you get a little in your mouth…who cares? Swallow it. It’s perfectly safe. Tonight’s episode of Johnny Was A Crappy Sailor has been brought to you by the Playwrong Theater and the fine folks at Jizz Squirt Hand Soap. Jizz Squirt…it just feels good.
YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR GENERAL THEORIZER: JOSHERS
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI

“Well, I started out down a
_dirty road. Started out…
_all alone. And the sun went 
_down, as I crossed the hill.
_And the town lit up. The 
_world got still. I’m learning
_to fly, but I ain’t got wings.
_Coming down is the hardest
_thing. Well, the good old 
_days may not return. And 
_the rocks might melt and 
_the sea may burn. I’m 
_learning to fly, but I ain’t
_got wings. Coming down
_is the hardest thing. Well, 
_some say life will beat you
_down. Break your heart.
_Steal your crown. So, I’ve
_started out for God knows
_where. Guess I’ll know
_when I get there. I’m 
_learning to fly, around the
_clouds…“
EM NEWS
– This TV-Wearer Is Wearing Thin
– Action Bear!
– What Has 8 Legs And A Fucking Idiot?
– And a whole lot more
MENTALTAINMENT
– My Big Fat Podcast!
– Cinema PaulieDiso or is it?
– Domingo, Lewis, Momoa
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays, What We Watched + tons
_more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– The Big EMR General Music Quiz
– Plenty of Quick, Bad, Dirty Jokes
– So much more, your head will spin!