Welcome my friends to season 3 of the Determined to Dance podcast. My prayer is that you’ll be encouraged to persevere daily in our chaotic world. Today’s episode, Dance at Our Funeral? looks at myths associated with death.

Show Notes: Dance at Our Funeral?

For the next three weeks, we’ll discuss a difficult topic and I want to do it with grace and love. But death is not something we can look at lightly. Death of any kind—whether the death of a loved one, pet, dream, business, marriage, etc.—affects us deeply. Jeff Walling ends his book, Daring to Dance With God, with a chapter titled “Save the Last Dance for Me.” Walling says:

“It is God’s desire that we face our own mortality with courage and confidence. Through learning to trust in God’s love and Christ’s grave-defeating resurrection, we can gain the knowledge that allows us to dance at our own funerals. But three myths about death must be banished so these truths can shine through.”

We’ll examine each of these myths on the podcast. Myth #1: Death is a blessed gift from God. We’ve all heard it and maybe even said it. God needed another angel in heaven. God called them home. Words that sound “right” but are they? How come we have death in the first place?

Death did not come about until Adam and Eve sinned. Their action brought death into our world. Walling said, “…the Garden of Eden had no cemetery.” We were created to be eternal and through the shed blood of Jesus and His resurrection, we can once again be eternal if we give our lives to Jesus, making Him our Savior, Lord, Master, and King. But death is still a river to cross, even though it was not part of God’s original plan.

Death is not fair. I hate it. I didn’t want my father to die when he was only fifty-three. Or to miscarry my first pregnancy. Or to lose my best friend when she was only fifty. The good thing is I know I will see them again for they loved God as I do. But it doesn’t make my absence from them any easier to swallow.

What is a better way to look at death and share comfort when someone passes?

Be a good listener. Most people want to talk so let them. Resist the urge to tell too many of your own stories. I’m guilty of this.
Don’t be corrective. Now is not the time. When people are hurt, they don’t always know what they are saying. Choose love.
Show support. Send a card or text. Make a phone call. Carry food and maybe a gift card to a restaurant. Offer to help. Study the situation and do something tangible.
Don’t say the wrong thing like God needed them, At least they’re older, better off, their own fault, or Be strong.

All of the above ways are important, but it’s crucial not to say the wrong thing. At my father’s death, someone told me I needed to be strong for my mother. They meant well but it sent me in a bad direction. To me, being strong meant not showing emotion or grief. So, I tried not to. Four months later, I broke down and cried for three days. All because I was trying to be strong the wrong way.

I found out it’s okay to grieve and be mad or sad or even unsure of everything. Find someone to talk to who is safe and release your emotions as you are able. Lean heavily on God, His Word, and prayer. Listen to soothing music and surround yourself with beauty as much as possible. God heals, but it takes time and not all healing occurs on this earth.

I will always have a place in my heart that hurts for my dad, my child, and my friend. And so many others. But one day, it will all be over.

Revelation 21: 4 says: “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” NLT

Now I know I use this verse a lot in the podcast but it means so much to me. Let it bring comfort when you are struggling with death.

Let’s pray: Father God, we love You but despise death. Our sin brought it into the world but one day we’ll join you in heaven and death will be banished forever.