Trump's Postmaster General Louis DeJoy's Post Office is deactivating mail sorting machines even though the USPS is about to get historically lit in November. SCOTUS gave Rhode Island the nod on legislation meant to make mail-in-voting easier during a pandemic. The forward to Trump's former lawyer Michael Cohen's book proved riveting, especially the part about the watersports. Senator Elizabeth Warren said she wants to look into Amazon's deal with the USPS. The NY Times said the Portland Bible burnings appeared to be one of the first viral Russian disinformation dumps of the 2020 presidential campaign. Georgia HQ warned residents to steer clear of Stone Mountain National Park this weekend since it will be the site of an armed white supremacy rally complete with counter-protesters. White supremacy FOX-troll and prolific spewer of fake news Tucker Carlson lied when he said Vice Presidential candidate Kamala Harris only wanted certain people of color to receive the vaccine. Pat and Ryan learned females were donated from The Land of Nod to provide famed OG Earth bros Cain and Abel non-related dry-humping partners.