The support for impeachment grows, jumping twelve points in a new poll. Trump continued his maximum-pressure Twitter war against the universe with a focus on the Dems. A gaggle of former national security officials signed a letter formally poo-pooing Shitler's grossly inappropriate call with the President of Ukraine. A report finds the turncoats of the NRA became Russia's asset before the 2016 election. Stormy Daniels won her lawsuit against an unlawful arrest in Ohio (the charge was "motorboating.") The House Democrats subpoenaed the Secretary of State. A 12-year-old black girl's hair was sheared off against her will while held down by the neck by evil white classmates. Christo-twunt Jim Bakker blathered a theory that Cheeto has already avoided assassination attempts. RWNJ fireman "prophet" Mark Taylor presented his ridic thoughts about prophetic elevators in D.C. and the Vatican. Finally, the Crabs give it up to the marching band at Rice University for sticking up for their LGBTQ brothers and sisters by displaying Pride flags during a halftime show visiting a school whose policies are anti-gay.