Is your child refusing to do schoolwork? What can you do? Many parents are feeling the pressure of “crisis schooling,” and children are struggling to find motivation for their schoolwork. Though doing school at home may have initially been appealing, the novelty (for most) is wearing off. 

Kids have been cooped up at home. Now that spring is here, they just want to be outside!

In this article (also available in video or audio download), learn practical ideas to empathize, encourage, and empower (problem-solve). You can bring more joy into your child’s educational experience. 

https://youtu.be/diyGxblEsE4

Check what's going on inside you first

Doing “school at home” during the pandemic was not a choice for many parents, and this can cause a lot of anxiety. 

Before we can effectively help our kids, we have to learn to navigate our own anxiety. It is then we are better able to lead our children calmly. Remind yourself and your children that there is plenty of grace for this, and it doesn’t have to be perfect.

Empathize when your child refuses to do their homework

It is important to empathize with our kids before we try to solve the problem. Ask yourself:

What's it like to be them?What are they feeling? What are their basic needs or stressors that are causing them to struggle? 

Your child might be experiencing over-stimulation, boredom, low blood sugar, fatigue, or lack of exercise and/or sleep. They could also be experiencing sadness and grief. 

Online schooling is not easy for kids

Studies also show that virtual meetings are exhausting for kids and parents! It’s harder to read social cues on a screen, and response delays can hinder effective communication. Kids may also feel self-conscious about “performing” on a screen. 

Distance learning lacks the variety that an in-person classroom provides. Our brains were created to function on reflected light, and learning in front of a screen means more light-emitting exposure, which can also contribute to fatigue.

Whatever the stressors our kids are experiencing, it’s really helpful to express, “I get what it’s like to be you!” 

Encourage your child 

Along with empathy, we can encourage our kids. Let them know, “I see and enjoy good things in you!” The word encourage literally means “to fill with courage.” So fill your kids with courage about who they are! 

Doing “school at home” was not a choice for many parents, and this can cause a lot of anxiety.

Remind them of previous successes, and dwell on what is good instead of focusing on what isn’t good. Fist bumps, high fives, humor, and positive affirmation can remind your child of success and provide needed encouragement. 

Empower: problem solving together increases motivation

The schoolwork problem is hard. Crisis schooling is a crisis situation—for kids, too. Once we have empathized and encouraged, our kids will feel safer and calmer with us. Then we can then work to solve the problem.

It's important to watch for what your child naturally gravitates toward: What picks them up? What helps them? Teach them to advocate for themselves by asking for what they need to be successful.

How Ashley learned to problem solve her schoolwork

One mom, Julia, wrote about some helpful solutions she discovered with her 9-year-old daughter during a struggle over schoolwork: