Join us as we dive in with Karen Phelps Moyer about authenticity, self-care, and gratitude. Karen is an incredible philanthropist, mother of eight, and mental health advocate. She specifically works with student-athletes with her companies Golden Minds and Eluna Network, and strives to give back to her community. She has recently started a new business venture called Good Morning Gorgeous, encouraging many to reimagine love. Tune in as Karen and Brett discuss giving back, its impact on individuals and communities, and how surrounding yourself with like-minded people can help you become your authentic self.

https://youtu.be/w_5F7dEHTMo

Brett Gilliland: Welcome to the Circuit of Success. I’m your host, Brett Gilliland. Today I’ve got Karen Phelps Moyer with me. Karen, how you doing?

Karen Phelps Moyer: I’m great, Brett. Thanks for having me on.

Brett Gilliland: It’s, uh, good to be with you and, uh, you know, by the looks, people can probably see up there. You got the Notre Dame football, you got the Notre Dame helmet and you’re setting where.

Karen Phelps Moyer: I’m in my home in South Bend.

It does look like I’m a big fan, but I, I have a house here that I, I visit, um, My parents, and then I rent this house out, uh, during the season.

Brett Gilliland: Yes.

Karen Phelps Moyer: So I just happen to be right now, uh, working on a few things in, in my new business, so.

Brett Gilliland: Yes, I love it. Which we will talk about soon. You are the, uh, founder and CEO of Golden Minds and Good Morning Gorgeous. And the founder of Eluna Network, the foundation that you’re involved in, do amazing work and so excited to spend time talking about all those, but.

If you can, um, Karen, let’s just kinda start with what I do on every podcast of what’s made you, the woman you are today. I know that’s a pretty bold and, or not bold, but kind of an open question, right? That could go a million different directions. But really what’s made you, the woman you are today to, to wake up and be involved in some amazing companies in the work and the impact that you’re making in the world?

Karen Phelps Moyer: Well, I grew up here in South Bend. I, the family came here when I was five years old, so I was influenced by an incredible university.

Uh, For the character and personality that we develop in, in, in those youthful years. So I could walk to campus and be around some really great people. Learned to give back at a very young age. Um, was very determined in my career. I was gonna do television and, uh, married a professional baseball player at a very young age.

And then supported his journey for about the next 30 years. Along the way, did some philanthropy and created our own foundation. And so therein lies, you know, my work and what I do, uh, to this day.

Brett Gilliland: Awesome. And, uh, your dad is, uh, is a legendary basketball coach there at the University of Notre Dame. Uh, Digger Phelps. He’s a hell of a guy. And how’s Digger doing?

Karen Phelps Moyer: He’s well, thank you. Uh, he is active in his own way. He’s definitely slowed down in the sense of what’s on his agenda and in his calendar. He is been doing some world traveling, uh, since Covids been over and he, um, is healthy and that’s always…

Brett Gilliland: Yeah. That’s good.

That’s awesome. That’s awesome. So what did you learn in that role? Obviously in, in the environment you grew up in, you, you grew up around sports, you grew up around competition, uh, grit, uh, you know, all the stuff you gotta do, right? I mean, to coach at that level and the success he had, obviously I would think that would sprinkle down to kids. And, and so what did you learn watching that from the front row?

Karen Phelps Moyer: Well, there was always a giving back component, and so whatever your blessings are to be able to pay that forward, to support others in the community with different organizations. Both of my parents were always demonstrating that, and obviously the university does a really good job of that as well.

Brett Gilliland: Yeah.

Karen Phelps Moyer: so, um, and, and for, for us it was, um, Not only paying it forward, but just knowing how you could make it, make things better for others. And so whatever that looked like is what we were trying to do. And so that carried on with me through life and, and to what I’m doing now.

Brett Gilliland: Yeah, yeah. So let’s talk about that, what you’re doing now.

Golden Minds and Good Morning Gorgeous. Uh, the two companies, um, that you are, uh, a part of and founded and run and, uh, making a, a, a huge impact. But let’s start with Golden Minds that’s on the t-shirt there, so we’ll, we’ll talk with that. Uh, first cause I love what you’re doing with that. That’s how we were introduced and, uh, just excited to spend some time talking about it. Let’s, let’s, let’s do that.

Karen Phelps Moyer: Well, thank you. So really the story goes, I got very involved in grief and creating a grief camp for kids in the year 2000. Uh, kids ages six to 17 get to attend our camp. We partner with hospice type organizations. These are kids who’ve lost a loved one and then they’re surrounded by others, um, grieving and, uh, don’t feel so isolated and lonely.

It’s a beautiful camp called Camp Erin then founded another camp called Camp Mariposa, that’s a camp for kids who live with family addiction. These kids are ages nine to 12, who actually, um, were breaking the cycle of addiction. It’s been around long enough to be proud to. That, uh, the Department of Justice sees it as a, uh, a camp for, um, prevention and so grief in the addiction and the crossover for me was suicide prevention. And I’ve worked in, in that area for, um, a long time on a national level. Um, and so being a mom of many and having college athletes, I pay attention to this world.

And about this time last year, we had too many deaths by suicide that were national stories. And I saw this idea of taking what we have now in name, image, and likeness, and having that be access to student athletes and launching a platform at the same time, uh, called Golden Minds.

And this is the mental health support for our student athletes. So I am directly working with student athletes from Notre Dame St. Mary’s. Which is the girls’ school across the street. And then the other school here in South Bend is, um, Holy Cross College. And so, you know, we’re looking at about a thousand athletes, um, that have access to Golden Minds and to Golden TouchNIL

But, um, really in development. Um, thought I would build a resource center and that is not where this generation is. They’re not clicking on links. They need to communicate through their phone and, um, feel safe. And so just building that, um, I’m in town right now to host what I started, um, a few months ago, and that’s called We Hear You and I just wanna hear them.

I wanna meet them where they are. I bring in experts, they go home with some tools about, um, how to deal with what’s going on in, in their world. You know, it’s a, it is a crazy world as we know.

Brett Gilliland: Yeah.

Karen Phelps Moyer: And to maintain the, the academics and the athletics and the social life, um, along with social media and other things, um, it’s a lot for these kids ages 18 to 24.

Brett Gilliland: Yeah.

Karen Phelps Moyer: So Golden Minds is that, um, outside support that, uh, Is gonna do some big things.

Brett Gilliland: Yeah. And it is, you are seeing it more and more often and it’s, you know, I wonder, is it, are we seeing it more often? Cuz there’s news on all the time, but I don’t, I don’t think that’s the case. I truly think it is happening more and more and, and whether it’s our, our phone, it’s the world we live in today.

I mean, what are your. What advice would you have for those listeners right now that, you know, we have kids and, and maybe we don’t have college athletes yet. My kids are still in high school, junior high and in grade school. And, and you’re the mother of eight children. Uh, which is, I I have four kids and I think that’s crazy.

I can’t imagine having eight. Uh, so I digress. But anyway. What, what are you seeing, what advice would you have for those that, that are out there trying to make an impact in the world with kids and our mental health? What advice would you have for us?

Karen Phelps Moyer: You have to start the conversation. There can’t be stigma around it. And so it has to be dinner conversation. You have to do check-ins with your kids. You can also surround your kids with other safe people that they can talk to. They’re not always comfortable coming home and talking about it. So who are the coaches? Who are the other adults in the room?

Brett Gilliland: Yeah.

Karen Phelps Moyer: That they can do.

Um, empower them if they think that one of their friends isn’t well, that they should. Should tell somebody, um, it, it’s a crisis. Absolutely. And Covid didn’t help, but we can do better. And so starting the conversation, breaking the stigma is the first thing for sure. And then surrounding them with safe people to, to go to, to talk about it. Um, and then doing the check-ins.

Brett Gilliland: Yeah. And that’s whether it’s, you know, we’re talking about, you know, suicide, terrible. Um, But, but also then on the flip side of that, if we look at it even from the business side, right? I mean that, that’s important. Whether it’s mental health, if it’s business, I mean, we gotta have check-ins, we gotta check in with our employees, we gotta check in with our teammates, check in at home, right?

I mean, all the things that you’re saying are, are such a big deal and all facets of life. But I think this, this mental side is important and I think it’s okay. In today’s world, too, what I’m seeing is it’s okay more for men especially to have those conversations and be okay and be transparent and be vulnerable.

You know, I’ve been very transparent on this podcast, and then when I talk publicly at speeches and different things is I dealt with anxiety a lot, right? And, uh, you can either make that a, a weak part of your system or you can make that a strength, right? And I’ve found, the more I’ve talked about it, the more I’ve been open about it.

The more somebody comes up to you and they’re like, man, I didn’t know that. I, I’m struggling with that too. Right? And so I think when, when you hear me say that being open, being transparent, being vulnerable, what are your thoughts there?

Karen Phelps Moyer: I applaud you. Way to go because our generation’s not doing that. And that’s where it starts, is to just recognize that it exists within you and you, it’s okay to have days where you’re not okay.

Brett Gilliland: Yeah.

Karen Phelps Moyer: And so then it does come down to the choice of, you know, if, if you stay in it or if you can help yourself get out of it. Lots of professionals out there that are, you know, can support you and help you through it. Sometimes you just need the tools on how to get through it. Sometimes you just need to be heard, and while life is super complicated, It is important to know that there are people out there that will listen to you and give you advice.

Um, there’s a lot of people that give you bad advice too. Um, but as we grow and develop, we, we learn to be more mindful in life. We, we learn to be more methodical in our thinking, in our reactions. Um, we definitely have to do that in parenting and certainly, Um, in relationships and, uh, at work and things like that.

So it’s a, it’s a nonstop work and your own self-development, but if you have self-awareness, that’s a huge first step.

Brett Gilliland: Yeah. Let’s, let’s talk about, cuz these, these two going, uh, hand in hand and you do an amazing job on the, on this stuff with Golden Minds, but you also have part of the company that talks about NIL and you mentioned that, right?

The name, image, and likeness. I have a philosophy on this and I’m, I’m curious, somebody that’s in the business, you’ve been in the sports world, you’re basically your whole life, not basically it has been your whole life, right? What are, what are your thoughts on N I L and the transfer portal and, and if we can’t go down this route because of your roles and what you do, you tell me to shut up and go, I’ll go the next question, but, but I have a huge passion about this and let tell you why, if that’s okay.

I struggle with, I think let’s just take the March madness to college basketball we just got done with, right? We saw teams you never would’ve bet any money on that. They’d be in the Final Four, right? So I think it’s leveling the playing field there. I love that part of it. Here’s what I don’t like. I don’t like the fact that if, when I played a little bit of golf in college, Let’s just use that as an example, that if my coach comes and holds me accountable, and I don’t wanna be held accountable in today’s world, right?

I’m a kid, I’m this, I don’t wanna listen to it. I don’t wanna be challenged, I don’t wanna be held accountable. I, I don’t wanna be pushed to my limit. It’s just a lot more comfortable for me to just say, you know what? I’m out right. I’m leaving Company X or, uh, school X, and I’m going over here. I’m curious your thoughts on that.

What’s it doing to our kids right now? Because it scares me for an accountability and toughness factor that we’re not giving them.

Karen Phelps Moyer: Well, I think you bring up a really good point. I don’t, um, think that everyone’s really looking at that piece of it. I think what they’re looking at is the playing time or the accessibility to an N I L deal.

And, you know, let’s make that even for them, but the accountability that’s gonna have to come from home, that’s gonna have to come from within themselves because it absolutely will catch up to them.

Brett Gilliland: Yeah.

Karen Phelps Moyer: If you’re in an environment where you get to run all the time and not have to face adversity, um, you know, and you just think it’s greener and it’s better, that is not gonna be a pattern that’s gonna work for you in life.

Brett Gilliland: Yeah.

Karen Phelps Moyer: And so, look, I grew up where I couldn’t give any of my dads players a bagel or a car ride, right? And so when I looked at exploring, getting involved in the N I L I was very standoffish about it. It’s not going away. We can do this, right? There are right ways to do it. Lots of influencers out there making money, just putting their name on something looking good, whatever it is.

And so if this is an opportunity for a student athlete to monetize at any level. I think that they should, I think that they’ve been held back in doing that. Were very strict rules around that. A school like Notre Dame really did live by that.

Brett Gilliland: Yeah.

Karen Phelps Moyer: Um, so it was already an unfair playing field, quite honestly, because not every school lived that way.

Brett Gilliland: Right.

Karen Phelps Moyer: So it’s not a pay-to-play situation, but it’s definitely a chance to monetize yourself if you’re passionate. So my N I L players, we’re gonna, we are involved in a movement around mental health. So I’m looking for companies that this is important to them. They come to me, they have access to these amazing athletes.

Together we’ll be pushing mental health. Starting the conversation, breaking the stigma. Know, coming up with tools, uh, they can become a captain and a leader in this part of their team and role models around, uh, the, the country, quite honestly. So you bring up a really good point about that.

But I think that that also comes from home, um, right. And where the accountability is. You know, it’s been really hard raising kids. Um, for, you know, this generation, uh, what they, what they feel is, is they deserve and then they’ve had to, you know, live through Covid. So we aren’t gonna know, and I think you’re right, you’re gonna be onto something.

Um, certainly if you’re a coach, the transfer portal’s very difficult. So there’s, it is what it is. There can be some stricter boundaries around it, I suppose, but, It’s going to exist and we’re gonna have to figure out how to make it.

Brett Gilliland: Mm-hmm. It’s funny…

Karen Phelps Moyer: I love San Diego State being in the final game, by the way.

Brett Gilliland: You love that.

Karen Phelps Moyer: That was like a dream come true for our town.

Brett Gilliland: That’s awesome. That that was a big deal and that was a lot of fun to watch. And so I do like it for that right. I think that’s, it becomes, to your point, it’s a more of a. Uh, a fair playing field, right? Because, uh, and, and you’re not saying this I am, but the old school days where you hear the stories of, you know, the duffle bag happens to be on the tarmac and it’s full of cash, right?

And that kid goes to that college last minute and, and all that. But now you have, you know, whether it’s the basketball players, you hear about making a million dollars a year or these, uh, I don’t even know their names, but there’s twin, uh, girls from Miami. They’re making a million or $2 million a year, right?

It’s like, How long can that go? And, and so my other philosophy on this is, what I do like about it is it’s hard. And I’m in the wealth management business. That’s my day-to-day job, right? And so I understand money and the importance of that. And giving money to somebody young is tough, but at least when they get drafted, sometimes they may have the wrong people around them, right?

So now you have this kid who’s 18, 20, 22 years old, whatever, and they get drafted. They’re around millions of dollars. And no circle. I at least like the fact that I would trust if a kid’s making even a hundred thousand dollars at Notre Dame, there’s a slew of people around him or her that’s gonna take care of them.

Right? That’s my hope. I hope that these universities are doing that, that they are creating people around him to be good stewards of what’s going on.

Karen Phelps Moyer: N not necessarily per se. So my N I L’s golden touch. My N I L for these student athletes is the A to Z. It supports them from the, the contract through the obligation when they get the money, the finances, the taxes.

I’m also bringing in things, um, organizations that are gonna support the kids and mentor them and educate them on what to do with their investments. Hmm. Uh, So it’s the whole package of the, the student athlete, the human being today and into the future. Not necessarily are all of the Nils doing this. And certainly Notre Dame is, is not, we are last to the table on the Nils.

We’re very small group. I’m separate than the university. I’m just here for the, the students. Um, as a third party. Um, You know, with the university’s blessing because…

Brett Gilliland: Sure.

Karen Phelps Moyer: My whole package is around mental health. And so, um, I just want shout outs. I want stories. This is how we’re going to break the stigma, is that you’re hearing stories of others feeling just like you. And if you need help, then we’ll find you help.

Brett Gilliland: Yeah. So, uh, I’m bouncing around here on some things and, but let’s talk about, so you, I read on your website, um, for the Good Morning, Gorgeous. You know, you were. Uh, using your words. You were in your fifties, uh, when you did this. You, you bet on yourself. You’re starting a new company.

Uh, I mean, talk to our listeners out there right now that have that dream, right? They wanna follow, they wanna be the best version of themselves. They wanna achieve a future greater in your past, which is our motto. Um, talk to them. What advice do you have for them? Why did you bet on yourself? And are you happy you took, you’ve taken the risks that you’ve taken?

Karen Phelps Moyer: Well, I mean, quite honestly, I didn’t get to live my dream and that was to, uh, work in sports television, uh, in the eighties and nineties and followed uh, my husband’s dream and path. And he played a very long time and that just became our world. And so I was always kind of in a corner trying to figure out what I was gonna do.

And at 40 I started my own spin studio cuz I loved doing it and it wasn’t in my neighborhood. Mm-hmm. Um, and then, um, and oth other projects like that. So after the divorce, I did a lot of work on myself and I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I have a degree from Notre Dame. Again, I didn’t get to do my career and that is a regret, um, for me, and I’m just being authentic and vulnerable, sharing that. So…

Brett Gilliland: How long did you know that, sorry to interrupt, but how long did you know that? How long did that regret take you or not regret? How long did it take for you to realize you were having regret?

Karen Phelps Moyer: I’ve been, I, I certainly have been open about it probably more in the divorce because, you know, that was his dream.

I was supporting his dream. Um, and then you get to reflect when you don’t end up staying together, you’re just like, okay. You know, lots of amazing, great things we did as a couple and as a family that I would never change. Um, but for me, I went to, I worked in television in high school. I went to Notre Dame, I interned summers, like this was my dream, this was my goal, this is what I was gonna do.

I started the path of doing the Olympics. I did the 88 Olympics in Calgary with abc. Was supposed to go to Seoul and then got married instead. And we were traded after we were married. I think if we’d stayed in Chicago, it would be a different story, but we were traded and there began this journey of many, many moves and nine teams and decades in Major League baseball.

So for me, um, Certainly in a divorce, I, I verbalize it. I may have felt it, but now I verbalize it and I have daughters, so I share this with them and they get it and they see it and they understand. And so now I share it with other women. And so for me, when I took my grief work to a place organically helping widows reimagine love, because I had a friend who was a widow and she had set up her match and took it down.

I’m like, no, we can do this. And it went well and built self-esteem and self-confidence, and she was dating again. Um, and I thought, well, this is cool. I could do this. So that’s where the Good Morning Gorgeous comes from, the Elite TLC dating. And then along the way, other populations came in. I work with men and women and divorced people, people who haven’t dated in a long time, people who’ve been sick and are getting out there dating again.

So reimagining love. And then there’s this whole thing about your, your dreams and, and where, where can you take your dreams no matter where you are in life. I, so I life coach people, some people have fallen into money and wanna figure out what to do with it. Some people in their careers, I mentor all ages.

Um, but for me, Good Morning Gorgeous became me being me. I, my life experience, giving that back and turning it into a business of coaching, and I’m enhancing that. I’m getting certified in the Jay Shetty School of Coaching now and really want to blow up what I’m doing because I love what I’m doing and so I’m excited about that.

So I have that, and I have this mental health piece, and I have two freshmen in college athletes. And so I live this. With them, um, the mental health in sports, and my youngest has been in residential treatment. She’s adopted special needs for the last two plus years, and so I also live that as well. So I’m walking the talk, but I’m also building communities and finding holes where we don’t have things and how can I, how can I find the experts to build what I can at Golden Minds to support student athletes?

Brett Gilliland: Yeah.

Karen Phelps Moyer: Not only here, but I hope to take it everywhere.

Brett Gilliland: And where did you find your passion? Do you think that just came to you like just one day, or is that years of like, you know, thinking about it, journaling, dreaming, whatever it is, like how did that come to you?

Karen Phelps Moyer: I wish…

Brett Gilliland: I like why this, like, my point to that is, I guess why this? Right?

Karen Phelps Moyer: Yeah. No, I, I think, um, when I, when I formed Good Morning Gorgeous, I was definitely going back to mentors in my life and saying, okay, what, what is my life? What could it look like? I even thought about going back into television, going back to the Olympics. It’s gonna be in LA in 28.

Brett Gilliland: That’s right.

Karen Phelps Moyer: And then things were just happening organically and naturally and in covid. I was able to keep coaching people, you know, I could take on as many people with a lot of downtime, um, with all of us being at home. So, uh, that just evolved that way. I got certified, um, as a thought coach, just kept enhancing myself and the business, and I get to apply that to my clients.

So now I can really reflect and say, okay, I like the flexibility. I like being able to travel and see my kids and live life a little bit. I have to be there for my youngest. I mm-hmm. You know, drive her journey, uh, navigate that, which is not easy, uh, day to day. And this allows me to, to still connect people, be connected to people, uh, build community. And I’m sure that I learned all that right here at Notre Dame. Yeah, I saw it. Mm-hmm.

Brett Gilliland: In your value system, right. I mean I think that we talk about that at work a lot. We gotta be values connected, we gotta be vision connected. I think that’s critically important. So when you hear those words values, what comes to mind for you?

Karen Phelps Moyer: Well, I think you can, what you need to learn and a value is that perfectly imperfect is okay. So if you are stuck in perfection, if you’re stuck in a facade, if you’re stuck in a place where you feel like you need to prove to everybody that you can do things, handle things, not do things small, always do things big, you know you’re gonna burn out.

You’re gonna burn yourself out, you’re gonna burn the people out around you. And so then the next thing is authenticity. And so how do you get to be authentic with yourself and then it’s all about self-care and self-love and to be able to really love yourself. I know that sounds kind of weird, but I don’t know how many people can say they love themselves, right?

But you need to love yourself in order to be loved authentically by others. And self-care is huge. You know, especially moms. We are doing everything for everybody else. All the time. And if we don’t take care of ourselves, then the rest isn’t gonna work. This being around like-minded people, it’s important to have a partner that supports you in all of that too, that lifts you up.

Even if you’re full of self-esteem and self-confidence. Know that you deserve and should be getting from your partner that, that you’re uplifted, that you’re appreciated, um, because that too can get really old and you can get burned out. So, um, you know, there’s a lot of things that we can work on just day-to-day mindfulness, and whether you’re doing meditation or how you decide to wake up and set your intentions for the day. How you are at night when you go to bed.

Definitely living with gratitude. Um, and I, I always, I hope that I inspire people to give back that, that fills my heart so much. I, my next favorite thing other than being with my kids is to be at my camp and watch these kids, um, you know, grow and heal and find hope and healing.

Brett Gilliland: Yeah.

Karen Phelps Moyer: And themselves and be able to take that home. So giving back at whatever level that is, it can be big or small.

Brett Gilliland: So let’s peel that onion layer back a little bit on the self-care side. So if, if I followed you around for a week or a month, you know, pick the timeframe. What am I seeing? Um, what am I seeing Karen do day in and day out to take care of herself?

Karen Phelps Moyer: Um, sleep is definitely something that I’m requiring more with age, uh, and so recognizing that you need more sleep, uh, and rest and recovery, uh, working out for me has always been very important. Uh, That’s the, the mental health for me to, quite honestly, my family knew it was good if I got a workout in that day and you just feel better and, you know, yeah, look better.

All that comes in one package. Um…

Brett Gilliland: Can I stop you there for a second? How, how do you, how are you doing that? So how, what are the age ranges of the kids?

Karen Phelps Moyer: So unfortunately because of Covid, I became an empty nester, um, four years sooner than we we were supposed to.

Brett Gilliland: Okay.

Karen Phelps Moyer: And the divorce, Jamie and I have been sharing, so I’ve been in transition, um, for a while now, in the sense of what was normal, and by the way, what’s normal? I was married to Major League baseball and moved 88 times and had eight kids, and the bigs were in three schools. And you know, it was just this grind and I was always finding a workout for sure.

Brett Gilliland: Well, that’s where I was going with that. You’re, you’re hitting the nail in the head here is, is so many people I don’t have time. Right. I don’t have time to read 10 pages a day or I don’t have time for a five minute meditation or a workout or whatever. Right. And I can be guilty of that sometimes and so, sure. What did, what did you do as a mother of eight moving all over the country, husband’s out of town playing sports, um, like what were you doing to make sure that stuff gets done?

Because it’s easier now, I would assume, right? With being an empty nester. So, but what were you doing when the, when the grind was going on? How were you doing it?

Karen Phelps Moyer: Um, it was just always a part of the schedule. So if I was, you know, I owned the spin studio, so that was seven years of my life teaching that 5:00 AM class and probably two more during the day.

Um, but just always, if we were on the road, I was in the hotel, it was just a priority to me. And I think that’s what it, what it comes down to. And a lot of people, we do get caught up in not making ourselves a priority and with age. I’m gonna do Pilates until I’m a hundred. You know, you have to change your workouts where, you know, I used to box and yeah, do really hardcore cardio.

You know, if I can get one Pilate session in a day, I’m thrilled. Um, So, You just recognize, um, that actually that’s super important anyway, uh, for your health, uh, eating rights, um, you know, watching alcohol consumption, um, which definitely got harder in Covid. And then all of a sudden now we’re like, okay, we, we can’t do that every day anymore, so…

Brett Gilliland: it’s three o’clock. What are we gonna do now? I guess we drank.

Karen Phelps Moyer: Exactly. Um, but you know, I think it just, it has to be innate. You can surround yourself with others too. So if your partner’s motivating and inspiring that way you can do it together. Um, it, I think it’s a great example for the kids. Um, it’s just who, who I’ve always been. And so that’s just who I’ll always be. I have good role model around me.

Brett Gilliland: It’s hard for you to understand somebody that doesn’t do it, isn’t it?

Karen Phelps Moyer: No, I get that. I think, um, a lot of people can get away with that. I think that that catches up to you at some point. Um, you know, I, we’re an athletic family. I love playing tennis and golf as well, but they’re…

you know, extracurricular sports in my life. Um, yeah, just, just staying active I think is just important. Uh, I live in California where we lead an active life. I don’t get to hibernate, um, in these winter states. Um, so, uh, and you know, it keeps you young. I’m around student athletes all the time. They keep me young.

Brett Gilliland: Yeah.

Karen Phelps Moyer: So…

Brett Gilliland: Love it. Um, when you hear the word fear, um, I, I used to ask this question, I’m getting away from it for the last couple months, but the, the fears you’ve put in your mind over the years, how many of those fears have actually blown up to the magnitude you put ’em in your mind to be?

Karen Phelps Moyer: I don’t think that I’ve lived a life fear-based at all, and I don’t have thoughts that are fear-based. I don’t have actions that are fear-based. What I did most of my life was prove everything to everybody. I got this, you know, like, and it was never small. It was always big. And so it took me a long time in life to figure out that pattern where, I mean, I was doing everything, having kids, doing the projects, doing the philanthropy, my own, the teams, um, on boards, uh, creating baseball leagues.

I loved all of it. Um, what I’ve gotten better at doing is being present. So probably I was avoiding and filling voids. I grew up in a celebrity lifestyle, very public life. Married right into that. And so for me, I can sit here and say, okay, what’s real? You know, what’s important to me? And I think that another really good thing out of Covid was that we could look at our lives, we could simplify our lives, we could recognize that we could be together and enjoy each other and, and um, be present.

And so for me now, it’s where I used to go to bed with no to-do list. I have. Probably two notepads full of to-dos that I have to do.

Brett Gilliland: Things, dreams, aspirations to-do list. I’m, uh, I’m gonna change this, uh, subject here a little bit. I li I’ve been liking this question lately. I’m gonna have you pick a number, but I’m on your Instagram, okay, so..

Karen Phelps Moyer: Okay?

Brett Gilliland: So, pick a number between one and 10, okay? Okay. Go ahead and say that. What is it?

Karen Phelps Moyer: Eight.

Brett Gilliland: Okay. And then, uh, now between one and three, pick a number between one and three.

Karen Phelps Moyer: Two.

Brett Gilliland: Okay. Number two, let’s see. That picture is, uh, looks like you. It says, what a wild weekend of weather and endless fun with dear friends and silly family at Notre Dame.

Blessed with the community of Big Brothers, dad’s former players, an awesome brother and his perfect kids. My beautiful Katie Rose and my dedicated loving sailor. Uh, who helped me, uh, tailgate, setup, and so on. So talk to me about that post to you. You probably, I can see your smile on your face so you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Karen Phelps Moyer: Well, I’ve been on social media and off social media. Um.

Brett Gilliland: Okay.

Karen Phelps Moyer: When I was on before, I had a lot more followers. Um, and I’ve been o I went off for a while around my daughter’s mental health. And, um, came back. And so I know my post because I don’t post as much as I used to. And now we have stories, which is where you can post more than where we used to, just right post everything.

So that I remember, because I was here at Notre Dame. And this past football season, I hosted tailgates to get the word out about what I was doing with Golden Touch and Golden Minds. And that particular weekend I had my daughter up from her boarding school, which is just south of here in Indiana. I had my significant other here, and it happened to be a game that a lot of my dad’s former players were back.

And so the picture is me with, um, a bunch of those guys that are like big brothers to me. And at the end of the day, truthfully, they’ve become mentors and advisors to me in my new business with Golden Touch and Golden Minds.

Brett Gilliland: Yeah.

Karen Phelps Moyer: And so that, you know, I just, to sit and reflect in that and to remember your roots, I think is really important. I’m definitely a nostalgic person that way. Um, but be able to share it with, with my kids. My brother was in town that weekend with some of his kids. So I cherish that kind of stuff.

Brett Gilliland: That’s awesome. Awesome. Yeah, I love, uh, I love those questions just because it’s neat cuz obviously when people make a post, right, there’s some big meaning behind it.

Karen Phelps Moyer: What, how’d you go from the eight to the two?

Brett Gilliland: Well, so I just said one through 10 because if you said 20 or I said like one through 50, we’d, I’d have to scroll and count and it’d take forever. So one through 10 was the 10th row on your Instagram, and then one through three. This was the second picture of the three.

Karen Phelps Moyer: Oh.

Brett Gilliland: Of the way it looks on your Instagram, so. Uh, I’m sure there’s better ways to play the game, but I, uh, that’s, that’s kind of how I’ve done it. And so I think it, it’s cool, right? It’s, uh, you know, like another one here, if you would’ve said third, it says national. Uh, gratitude month, right? Psychologists find that over time feeling grateful, boost happiness, and fosters both physical and psychological health.

That was one of your posts. And so, you know, I have a, a journal that’s now out, shameless plug here, live on, uh, it’s on Amazon. But one of the things that we talk about every day is, is your gratitude, right? What, what are the 2, 3, 4 things that you’re thankful for? And I find that even on days where, you know, you wake up, maybe you’re a little tired, had kid events, whatever, is, if I can focus on the things I’m grateful for every day. Man, it’s a game changer, right?

And then at the end, I have a gratitude exercise that I think is important that, you know, how many times do we take pictures with these phones, right? We take pictures and we may not look at ’em. Um, but every 90 days I go through and I look at the last 90 days of pictures and I write down everything I got to experience with my wife, my kids, my friends, my firm, whatever, right?

All those things. And for the next 90 days I celebrate those and then I look at the next 90 days ahead and say, what experiences can I create? Okay. Hmm. So that’s my exercise. So when you hear that, what comes to mind for you?

Karen Phelps Moyer: Well, that’s fantastic. I think the piece that, um, I find most inspiring cuz I do all of what you do is, uh, to look ahead and how, you know, what, how am I, what am I gonna create?

Ahead and that, that’s harder for me. I like to really, when you’re really present, you can, I guess that’s setting your intentions more. Uh, um, I look at photos from a year ago, so today I’ll look at photos from a year ago and the year before that, and that really takes me back. I’m, I’m screenshotting those and sending homes to my kids all the time.

Brett Gilliland: We do the exact same thing. It’s so awesome.

Karen Phelps Moyer: Remember when. Yeah. Um, and no, I, I’m grateful for pictures. I’m definitely that person. I had albums, my first four kids have a lot of photo albums. The rest don’t because…

Brett Gilliland: Right.

Karen Phelps Moyer: We don’t have…

Brett Gilliland: Life gets busy, right.

Karen Phelps Moyer: Well, and we don’t print them. We don’t have…

Brett Gilliland: Oh, yeah, that’s true.

Karen Phelps Moyer: There’s no albums. I mean, it’s all digital, right? Yeah. Yeah. So that’s really great. And that’s, you know, not many men do that, Brett. So I applaud you for that because. Um, to sit in gratitude is really confusing to people. You know, you can be grateful and feel blessed and count your blessings and pay it forward, but to really specifically write it down, um, and to reflect on that.

And it can be the smallest thing like I got out of bed. Yeah. You know, and that’s real for a lot of people.

Brett Gilliland: Yep. And I think it can change your mindset too, right? Like, I was pissed the other day. My, I have terrible allergies, so I’m like, even right now my eyes, I wanna rip my eyeballs out. They hurt so bad.

And, and so I was, I was going down the path of, oh, it’s, you know, My allergies, I’m blah, blah, blah. I’m bitching and moaning about it. And then I’m like, you know what? Today I’m grateful for is the, the grass is turning green, like where I’m at, right? The in St. Louis area, the grass is turning green. The, the flowers are blooming.

It’s starting to be warm weather. That means it’s golf weather and, and so and so, it’s amazing how that mind shift change, uh, just by little challenge to yourself. That goes a long way as well.

Karen Phelps Moyer: Well, and I, I find too with age, I don’t really wanna be around negativity. I, I don’t even, and it’s a hard country to be in, separating yourself from negativity.

Brett Gilliland: That’s right.

Karen Phelps Moyer: And all of the, the things that are happening. So you really have to work hard at that. I find myself isolating more than being around people because people are so negative. Um, my, the other thing that I love to do if I’m not at my camps is, uh, to be on mission trips where everybody’s like-minded and we’re all there for the same reason to give back.

So, um, the more you can do that in life, the better your days are gonna be. And, um, I think for you, Y you, you know, you’re paying it forward on the podcast, so I, I think it’s great. I appreciate you, you having me.

Brett Gilliland: Awesome. Where, uh, where do our listeners find more of you? Where can we, uh, where can we send them in the show notes?

Karen Phelps Moyer: Well, I appreciate that. Uh, so probably the best place to find me, um, well, if you’re interested in grief and addiction and my camps, that’s elunanetwork.org. And then, um, Certainly on social media. Um, on Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook. Um, but uh, if you are interested, have a friend who’s talking about re-imagining love.

Find me at goodmorninggorgeous.com. And then if you’re interested in mental health and student athletes, find me at goldenminds.world

Brett Gilliland: Okay. Awesome. What’s been awesome having you, Karen, and uh, really enjoyed our time and, uh, go Irish.

Karen Phelps Moyer: Thank you. Uh, thanks Brett.