Unlock the keys to success with Kevin DeShazo in this empowering episode of the Circuit of Success podcast. Join host Brett Gilliland as they delve into mental performance mastery, exploring pivotal topics like student-athletes transferring schools, decision-making grounded in knowledge, and the art of disciplined commitment. Discover the transformative impact of self-talk and the strategy of stacking small successes as Kevin shares insights into personal growth and development. “The power of self-talk is so important,” Kevin asserts, emphasizing its role as the language shaping our success. Kevin advocates for pushing beyond comfort zones to foster growth in this conversation. Gain valuable tips on learning from past leaders, making decisions without emotion, and preparing for adversity. Kevin’s wisdom extends to the significance of reading diverse perspectives, following engaging figures on social media, and immersing oneself in insightful books. This episode serves as a compelling reminder to reflect on your goals and dreams, taking actionable steps towards realizing them. By integrating practices like self-talk, stacking small successes, and embracing continuous learning, listeners can enhance their confidence and resilience, making tomorrow better than today. Tune in to this Circuit of Success podcast episode and embark on a journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and tangible strategies for achieving lasting success.

Mastering Mental Performance

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Welcome to the Circuit of Success.

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I’m your host Brett Gilliland in today.

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I’ve got Kevin DeShazo with me, Kevin. How

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you doing?

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Fantastic. How are you? I am good. How’s,

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Oklahoma City treating you today?

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It’s great.

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Not too wintery of weather yet. It’s actually

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pretty nice. So it’s a it’s good Monday.

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Awesome. It’s a little chilly and rainy here,

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but it it could be a lot worse.

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So that’s our item. I’m just outside of

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Saint Louis.

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And, so you are in Oklahoma City.

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You are the father of three boys. We

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both have something in common. We both have

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an asher.

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And you are married and running some businesses.

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Certified mental performance,

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mastery coach and founded, field house, media.

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And, we’ll talk about some other stuff as

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well. So, before we get started though, Kevin,

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could you just give us a little lay

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of the land? What’s made you the man

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you are today and what’s some of the

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backstory for you?

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Oh, what is that’s a big question. What

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has made me the man I am seeing?

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Probably who has made me the man I

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am seeing?

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You know, I’ve I’ve been really fortunate to

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have great mentors, great people,

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in my life from a a young age.

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And I think the the two things I’ve

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learned probably the most from from all those

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mentors combined is one, the power of speaking

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belief in the people. These are always people

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who believed something in me. Saw something in

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me, called those things up in me,

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treated me as if I I’ve I’ve already

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was those things

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and two, just the, their, the way they

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modeled their life. Right? They were people who

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were accountable. They were disciplined. They were consistent.

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What’s it was important to me. They were

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they were all rooted in faith.

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So they were good husbands, good dads, good

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business people, whatever their job was.

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And so I’ve always had had good mentors.

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And then over the years, you know, I

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went into the corporate world right out of

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college. Well, that’s not true.

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Don’t have to go down this down down

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this revolt, but I was I was an

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embalmer’s assistant for six months immediately out of

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college. Wow.

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Then then went into the corporate world. Then

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started my own business,

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and businesses. And so lots of ups and

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downs of peaks and valleys and failures and

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successes,

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think all those things, all those experiences, the

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wins and losses, you know, they they each

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kinda mold you into. If you allow them

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to, if you use them the right way,

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they mold you into,

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who you’re supposed to be. Yeah. And you

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grew up in Oklahoma?

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Mostly, I was in Missouri, until sixth grade.

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And so I moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma,

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right after I finished sixth grade, and dinner,

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Oklahoma since then. Nice. And doing some work

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with Oklahoma, the university. Right? That’s right. Yeah.

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We we do a lot with their athletic

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department, both from their administration, you know, jokes

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to Leon, their athletic director, their leadership team,

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their department,

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but also work with a lot of their

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sports teams,

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worked deeply with football team, travel with the

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football team. So it’s a it’s it’s a

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fun a fun client to have. Yeah. So

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speaking of football, so how did,

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how did you think it went last night?

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They picked the top four teams.

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Well, Florida State’s also a client. Yeah. Oh.

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So so so didn’t didn’t love them being

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left out.

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You know, it’s it’s a there’s probably a

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bigger societal perspective to take on it, but

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it was

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you know, the committee went, in my opinion,

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they went on feelings based on that I

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rather rather than based on facts.

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I just think it’s tough to leave,

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a Power five undefeated team

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out, you know,

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in in place of teams who have who

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have lost skin. Now for that fourth spot,

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I think there could be a lot of

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argument. Whether it’s Bamba or Georgia or Texas

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or

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even Ohio State, you know, they’re only lost

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being to Michigan. There’s a lot of argument

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for that fourth spot, but my opinion, Florida

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State should have been should have been a

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guarantee. Yep. Yeah. It’s tough. And I guess

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next year going to what? Ten teams or

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twelve teams, whatever they’re doing next year. Yeah.

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Twelve will change from that. But then you’ll

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still have the thirteenth team. That’ll be mad.

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That’s right. And, That’s right. That’s where I

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go because you’re right. It’s like the twelve

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team solves

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this discussion in terms of, like, okay. They

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would have all had a chance.

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And and I’ve been, you know, hoping and

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waiting for this this twelve team for a

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while because I my general opinion is if

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you’re in the top 08:10, maybe twelve,

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you probably have a good chance, like, to

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win a national, like, a national title. You’ve

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got some talent. You’re you’re pretty elite.

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There’s not always. Some years, there’s a massive

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difference, but typically that that one to eight,

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one to ten gap is not very wide.

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Once you get thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, say, okay,

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you’ve probably lost two or three games. It’s

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like you’ve had enough of a chance

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But it’ll be but there’s always gonna be

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someone who feels left out. Right? And whether

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there were thirty teams, right, someone’s gonna feel

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left out. Yep. Yeah. Well, you look at,

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like, Liberty, I saw the twelfth team, I

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think, liberty.

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And then you got, like, LSU on the

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thirteenth.

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Oh, wow.

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So the thirteenth team was LSUU. You look

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at the difference of who they’re all playing,

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you know, a little bit different deal there.

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So so, And and Liberty Liberty go to

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play Oregon. So that’ll be interesting. Yeah.

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Yeah. Who who are you guys playing?

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We’ve got Arizona. Will be a great I

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mean, Arizona, they’ve won, like, five straight, I

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believe.

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Mhmm. And then when you add all the

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transfer portal, so our quarterback just announced today,

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he’s leaving

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as a grad transfer, we’ve got a we’ve

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got a guy who’s who’s playing behind him,

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who was ready. And he this year was

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kind of a mentoring year for him. Talked

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about great leadership.

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But portal season,

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people transferring, coaches, moving around. So it’ll be

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interesting.

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Yeah. It’s crazy. I saw today the, so

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Ohio States play in Missouri,

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and they’ve already announced, like, their quarterbacks leaving

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Ohio State’s quarterback leaving. They had, like, I

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don’t know. Five or six guys already say

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they’re not playing in the game. It’s, like,

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it’s wild. It’s wild.

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Yeah. Yeah. So so how do we fix

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that? The societal problem of of this. Right?

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What I worry about with the, the transfer

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portal and all that stuff as accountability

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is kids these days can run from Right?

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Because if I hold you accountable Gilliland

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you don’t like that, well, then what are

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you gonna do? You’re just gonna take your

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bag and you’re gonna take the ball and

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go home. Right? So so what are your

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thoughts on and then how do we fix

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that issue?

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Yeah. It’s really interesting.

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I think transferring is fine.

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I liked the old way where you had

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to sit out for a season because that

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made you have to really think, like, okay.

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Am I do I really wanna go somewhere?

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Am I really that unhappy?

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That I’m willing to go sit for a

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year and lose development, lose playing time, lose

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putting myself on tape. If I think I’m

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good enough to go to the NFL, or

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MBA, whatever it may be.

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And so I I think there has to

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be some form of consequence,

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so to speak, transferring to cause them to

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to pause a little bit, which I think

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is is now come back. Now you can

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transfer

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once freely, but the second time I think

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now you have to sit out. Something along

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those lines. Okay.

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Or or some situation where you have to

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get a waiver. I mean, I think just

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allowing kids to transfer

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You know, when I was eighteen, I knew

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nothing. I should not have been making decisions

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for my life or my career at at

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eighteen because it would have all been based

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on how I the moment. And if someone

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does something I don’t like, well, this coach

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is against me. They’re being a jerk. Like,

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no, this is called discipline and accountability. And

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this is what growth looks like.

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So I think we’ve we’ve got a what’s

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interesting is the person who gets hurt the

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most in this are the student athletes. They

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think it’s helping the student athletes. They’re the

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ones who get hurt the worst. Because they

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all go on the Gilliland then, you know,

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whatever the number is, forty five, fifty percent

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have nowhere to go.

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There there’s no spot. So they think they’re

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going to greener pastures, and there’s nothing. And

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they go from a, you know, it could

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be an Oklahoma State to a division two

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or division three school or a low level,

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group of five, you know, division one school.

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It’s like, wait a minute. I was in

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the Big twelve. And now I’m

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at at, you know, the bottom of the

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pack in the sun belt or whatever it

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may be. Yeah.

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So I think that’s that’s part of it.

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I think we need to change the timing

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they they had a few portal windows, but

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doing it right now,

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when one coaches football coaches from December first

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to December sixteenth is an is an open

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period for recruiting. So they’re visiting all these

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high school kids,

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for the next two weeks while trying to

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keep their current roster here

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while trying to prepare for a bowl game.

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And signing day

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is in the next two to three weeks,

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like, the the main signing day. So then

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all this is happening in a matter of

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three weeks. And it’s just utter chaos,

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for everyone. And so to say, wait a

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minute. Like, we’ve gotta calm down with the

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opt outs of bowl games with being able

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to transfer

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there’s gotta be value in finishing what you

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started.

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And and if you wanna transfer, that’s okay.

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It might you might be in the wrong

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situation. Right? They may have fired your coach.

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You’re like, man, I don’t buy into the

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new coach. Like, this is not what I

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was here for. There’s always situations,

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but I do think there has to be

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a better process where it benefits everyone.

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Yeah. I’ve talked to coaches, you know, it’s

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it’s tough because now they’re having to recruit

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the same kids. They’ve already recruited Right? And

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so if it doesn’t get me easier. And

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that that whole accountability thing, like I mentioned,

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is what what worries me. And

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I don’t know. You worry about I worry

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about this. I mean, I’m just getting to

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be the old dad. You worry about, like,

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chat, GPT. I worry about that stuff. Like,

00:08:59.000 –> 00:09:01.000

is that gonna take away critical thinking from

00:09:01.000 –> 00:09:02.000

our kids?

00:09:02.000 –> 00:09:05.000

Right. Right. All that Gilliland so that’s probably

00:09:05.000 –> 00:09:06.000

a whole another podcast. But,

00:09:07.000 –> 00:09:09.000

so you are a big reader, I see.

00:09:09.000 –> 00:09:11.000

And so talk to me about that. So,

00:09:11.000 –> 00:09:11.000

obviously,

00:09:11.000 –> 00:09:14.000

I think it’s a a big important thing

00:09:14.000 –> 00:09:15.000

that people obviously need to do, but talk

00:09:15.000 –> 00:09:16.000

to me about what you get from it,

00:09:16.000 –> 00:09:18.000

what’s your process like, kind of books you

00:09:18.000 –> 00:09:19.000

recommend.

00:09:20.000 –> 00:09:21.000

I just think, you know, I fell in

00:09:21.000 –> 00:09:23.000

love with reading at a young age. I

00:09:23.000 –> 00:09:25.000

mean, in kindergarten, I was reading six grade

00:09:25.000 –> 00:09:27.000

level books and couldn’t couldn’t get enough. I

00:09:27.000 –> 00:09:28.000

just loved reading.

00:09:29.000 –> 00:09:31.000

And then you know, kinda as as school

00:09:31.000 –> 00:09:32.000

tends to do, I was forced to read.

00:09:32.000 –> 00:09:34.000

And so I lost kind of the love

00:09:34.000 –> 00:09:35.000

and and passion for it when I didn’t

00:09:35.000 –> 00:09:37.000

have a have a choice in when I

00:09:37.000 –> 00:09:38.000

was getting to read and when I read

00:09:38.000 –> 00:09:38.000

it.

00:09:39.000 –> 00:09:40.000

But I’d say in the last 10:15 years,

00:09:40.000 –> 00:09:42.000

I’ve just kinda rediscovered that passion.

00:09:43.000 –> 00:09:45.000

It sparks ideas. It’s a good way for

00:09:45.000 –> 00:09:47.000

me to to it’s it’s a weird combination

00:09:47.000 –> 00:09:49.000

of shutting off my brain, but also turning

00:09:49.000 –> 00:09:50.000

on my brain. Right? I can shut it

00:09:50.000 –> 00:09:52.000

off from my day to day and things

00:09:52.000 –> 00:09:52.000

that,

00:09:53.000 –> 00:09:55.000

cause stress or I’m building or need to

00:09:55.000 –> 00:09:57.000

think about, but it allows me think about

00:09:57.000 –> 00:09:59.000

new things, and think about the things I’m

00:09:59.000 –> 00:10:01.000

doing maybe in a in a different way.

00:10:01.000 –> 00:10:03.000

And I just I don’t know who who

00:10:03.000 –> 00:10:05.000

the original quote, where it’s from, but, you

00:10:05.000 –> 00:10:07.000

know, leaders are readers. And I just think

00:10:07.000 –> 00:10:09.000

that’s we we have to be reading. We

00:10:09.000 –> 00:10:11.000

can’t be stagnant just because I know what

00:10:11.000 –> 00:10:12.000

I’m doing in this lane today,

00:10:13.000 –> 00:10:15.000

doesn’t mean I know much about tomorrow or

00:10:15.000 –> 00:10:17.000

these other areas. And so I think trying

00:10:17.000 –> 00:10:19.000

to be well read, and trying to model

00:10:19.000 –> 00:10:20.000

that for my kids. Like, it’s just a

00:10:20.000 –> 00:10:23.000

good way to to slow down. Fortunately so

00:10:23.000 –> 00:10:25.000

far, my kids love reading. My fourteen year

00:10:25.000 –> 00:10:27.000

old, you know, we’ll go to Florida in

00:10:27.000 –> 00:10:28.000

the summer, and it’s probably, I don’t know,

00:10:28.000 –> 00:10:31.000

ten hour drive, twelve hour drive, and he’ll

00:10:31.000 –> 00:10:32.000

he’ll read an entire book, you know, just

00:10:32.000 –> 00:10:33.000

sit in the back of the car. We

00:10:33.000 –> 00:10:35.000

won’t hear from him the whole trip. He’s

00:10:35.000 –> 00:10:36.000

just got his his his head in the

00:10:36.000 –> 00:10:37.000

book. And,

00:10:37.000 –> 00:10:38.000

and, and he loves it. I mean, he

00:10:38.000 –> 00:10:39.000

read one year

00:10:40.000 –> 00:10:43.000

all the Harry Potter books from Christmas to

00:10:43.000 –> 00:10:43.000

February.

00:10:44.000 –> 00:10:47.000

Wow. Just just sat down and and yeah.

00:10:48.000 –> 00:10:49.000

And so I, yeah, I just think it’s

00:10:49.000 –> 00:10:51.000

such a valuable thing and and part of

00:10:51.000 –> 00:10:51.000

it.

00:10:52.000 –> 00:10:53.000

You know, I don’t know if I just

00:10:53.000 –> 00:10:54.000

think this or if this is true, but

00:10:54.000 –> 00:10:56.000

I think as a society in general, we

00:10:56.000 –> 00:10:56.000

don’t read enough.

00:10:57.000 –> 00:10:59.000

Social media doesn’t count. Right? Like, Twitter is

00:10:59.000 –> 00:11:00.000

not reading.

00:11:00.000 –> 00:11:02.000

And and so I think we we just

00:11:02.000 –> 00:11:05.000

kinda lost the the value that the books

00:11:05.000 –> 00:11:07.000

bring historical books, new books, And so I

00:11:07.000 –> 00:11:09.000

I like all topics. That’s probably not fair.

00:11:10.000 –> 00:11:12.000

I love reading leadership books. I love reading

00:11:12.000 –> 00:11:14.000

business books. I love history of getting getting

00:11:14.000 –> 00:11:16.000

more and more into older history books and

00:11:16.000 –> 00:11:19.000

seeing what leaders of the past did. Right?

00:11:19.000 –> 00:11:20.000

There there’s nothing new under the sun. So

00:11:20.000 –> 00:11:22.000

we can come up with with all these

00:11:22.000 –> 00:11:23.000

new leadership books today, but

00:11:24.000 –> 00:11:26.000

what did people do in the early nineteen

00:11:26.000 –> 00:11:28.000

hundreds and the eighteen hundred. Like, what were

00:11:28.000 –> 00:11:30.000

they thinking? Those those principles still matter, you

00:11:30.000 –> 00:11:31.000

know, so so learning from leaders of the

00:11:31.000 –> 00:11:32.000

past.

00:11:32.000 –> 00:11:34.000

Love it. Love it. You got a book

00:11:34.000 –> 00:11:35.000

right there behind you. I can see that

00:11:35.000 –> 00:11:38.000

one right there. Keep keep chopping wood.

00:11:38.000 –> 00:11:40.000

Yep. Right? So tell me about that.

00:11:41.000 –> 00:11:42.000

It was really interesting.

00:11:43.000 –> 00:11:45.000

So kind of the backstory on it. It

00:11:45.000 –> 00:11:48.000

was a Saturday night in January, and and

00:11:48.000 –> 00:11:50.000

it was freezing outside, like snow on the

00:11:50.000 –> 00:11:51.000

ground type freezing.

00:11:52.000 –> 00:11:54.000

And at the time, we lived in about

00:11:54.000 –> 00:11:55.000

a hundred and five year old house in

00:11:55.000 –> 00:11:57.000

downtown Oklahoma City.

00:11:57.000 –> 00:11:59.000

We’ve recently moved,

00:11:59.000 –> 00:12:02.000

just general life advice for anyone listening. Don’t

00:12:02.000 –> 00:12:04.000

move between Christmas and New Year’s. Like, that’s

00:12:04.000 –> 00:12:06.000

a great test of your marriage.

00:12:06.000 –> 00:12:08.000

We passed, thankfully.

00:12:08.000 –> 00:12:10.000

But so at the time we lived in

00:12:10.000 –> 00:12:11.000

a hundred and five year old home, and,

00:12:11.000 –> 00:12:13.000

you know, the windows were

00:12:13.000 –> 00:12:15.000

were less than paper thin.

00:12:15.000 –> 00:12:17.000

And my neighbor had a wood burning fireplace.

00:12:18.000 –> 00:12:19.000

And so we’re sitting there watching TV one

00:12:19.000 –> 00:12:21.000

night, and I can smell his fireplace burning.

00:12:22.000 –> 00:12:24.000

You know, my brain goes weird places, and

00:12:24.000 –> 00:12:27.000

I’m like, wonder? Like, wonder where firewood comes

00:12:27.000 –> 00:12:29.000

from? Like, what’s the process? Like, what how

00:12:29.000 –> 00:12:30.000

does that how does it get from tree

00:12:30.000 –> 00:12:32.000

to fireplace? Like, what does that look like?

00:12:32.000 –> 00:12:34.000

And and so I’ve googled it. Obviously, it’s

00:12:34.000 –> 00:12:37.000

not sound like secret process. I think government

00:12:37.000 –> 00:12:39.000

is not trying to prevent us from knowing

00:12:39.000 –> 00:12:41.000

what this looks like. And so I I

00:12:41.000 –> 00:12:43.000

what I found was

00:12:43.000 –> 00:12:43.000

that

00:12:44.000 –> 00:12:46.000

that the wood my neighbor was burning was

00:12:46.000 –> 00:12:48.000

not from that morning. It wasn’t from earlier

00:12:48.000 –> 00:12:50.000

in the week. That wood goes through this.

00:12:50.000 –> 00:12:52.000

It’s called seasoning, but it’s essentially just drying

00:12:52.000 –> 00:12:54.000

out. Wood has to dry out. It could

00:12:54.000 –> 00:12:56.000

be six, 09:12, fifteen months depending on the

00:12:56.000 –> 00:12:57.000

wood.

00:12:57.000 –> 00:12:59.000

In order for it to be ready for

00:12:59.000 –> 00:13:00.000

the fireplace in order for it to be

00:13:00.000 –> 00:13:03.000

be useful. Same thing if anyone listening, you

00:13:03.000 –> 00:13:04.000

know, you you go camping, well, if you

00:13:04.000 –> 00:13:05.000

try to light what

00:13:06.000 –> 00:13:08.000

firewood or your campsite, it’s not gonna work

00:13:08.000 –> 00:13:09.000

out. So same concept.

00:13:10.000 –> 00:13:11.000

And so I’m like, oh, interesting. Well, that

00:13:11.000 –> 00:13:13.000

means somebody had to be out in, like,

00:13:13.000 –> 00:13:16.000

March getting that firewood. You know, this wasn’t,

00:13:16.000 –> 00:13:17.000

like, earlier this week or earlier in the

00:13:17.000 –> 00:13:19.000

month, or this was months ago when they

00:13:19.000 –> 00:13:22.000

didn’t need it. That’s interesting. And so that

00:13:22.000 –> 00:13:24.000

made me think of culture and leadership and

00:13:24.000 –> 00:13:26.000

this process of of getting better.

00:13:26.000 –> 00:13:28.000

And so I just fired off a tweet

00:13:28.000 –> 00:13:29.000

as I typically do and,

00:13:30.000 –> 00:13:31.000

went to bed. Tell my wife’s, like, I

00:13:31.000 –> 00:13:33.000

think I found the idea of my next

00:13:33.000 –> 00:13:34.000

book. And she’s like, I’m sure you did

00:13:34.000 –> 00:13:36.000

because this is a seven times a week.

00:13:36.000 –> 00:13:38.000

I think I have an idea for a

00:13:38.000 –> 00:13:38.000

new book.

00:13:39.000 –> 00:13:40.000

And and so I woke up and it

00:13:40.000 –> 00:13:42.000

had kinda blown up a little bit. Like,

00:13:42.000 –> 00:13:44.000

okay. Interesting. That that resonated, which that’s a

00:13:44.000 –> 00:13:46.000

lot of what social media is for me

00:13:46.000 –> 00:13:48.000

is just putting out thoughts to see what

00:13:48.000 –> 00:13:49.000

resonates, what connects,

00:13:50.000 –> 00:13:52.000

and that one did. And so then I

00:13:52.000 –> 00:13:53.000

I have a a newsletter that I write

00:13:53.000 –> 00:13:55.000

for leaders every day.

00:13:55.000 –> 00:13:56.000

Used that story

00:13:56.000 –> 00:13:58.000

in my newsletter. So that was on a

00:13:58.000 –> 00:14:00.000

Saturday. Use this the story of my newsletter

00:14:00.000 –> 00:14:02.000

on a Monday. And I don’t usually get

00:14:02.000 –> 00:14:05.000

responses on the newsletter. It’s not designed to

00:14:05.000 –> 00:14:07.000

get responses. It’s just designed to serve people.

00:14:07.000 –> 00:14:09.000

Like, here’s a thought, here’s a thing. And

00:14:09.000 –> 00:14:12.000

I probably got fifty, sixty responses of, and

00:14:12.000 –> 00:14:13.000

I printed this off and gave it to

00:14:13.000 –> 00:14:14.000

my whole team. And I gave this to

00:14:14.000 –> 00:14:16.000

my son. I mean, like, okay. Two for

00:14:16.000 –> 00:14:17.000

two. There’s something there.

00:14:18.000 –> 00:14:20.000

And our office is above a coffee shop

00:14:20.000 –> 00:14:22.000

here in downtown Oklahoma City. And so that

00:14:22.000 –> 00:14:23.000

Tuesday morning came in,

00:14:24.000 –> 00:14:25.000

which the copy shop put some headphones in

00:14:25.000 –> 00:14:28.000

and four hours later, there it was. Wow.

00:14:28.000 –> 00:14:30.000

And that sounds impressive. It’s not it’s, like,

00:14:30.000 –> 00:14:32.000

nine thousand words. It’s not like I wrote

00:14:32.000 –> 00:14:34.000

a forty thousand word novel. It’s nine thousand

00:14:34.000 –> 00:14:36.000

words. You you can read it in about

00:14:36.000 –> 00:14:36.000

thirty minutes.

00:14:37.000 –> 00:14:39.000

But, yeah, still wrote it that that day

00:14:39.000 –> 00:14:41.000

and published it a few months later. That’s

00:14:41.000 –> 00:14:43.000

beautiful. So how many total books have you

00:14:43.000 –> 00:14:43.000

written?

00:14:45.000 –> 00:14:46.000

Three.

00:14:48.000 –> 00:14:50.000

I just finished the fourth. I’ve got a

00:14:50.000 –> 00:14:52.000

new one that I’m I’m working on. But

00:14:52.000 –> 00:14:53.000

I wrote one. So so one of my

00:14:53.000 –> 00:14:56.000

first businesses I started was called Fieldhouse Media,

00:14:56.000 –> 00:14:58.000

and it was doing social media training for

00:14:58.000 –> 00:14:59.000

college athletes and coaches

00:14:59.000 –> 00:15:01.000

And so I wrote a book called eye

00:15:01.000 –> 00:15:03.000

athlete, which is really about helping coaches understand

00:15:03.000 –> 00:15:05.000

this generation of of student athlete.

00:15:06.000 –> 00:15:08.000

Don’t recommend that one. It was more of

00:15:08.000 –> 00:15:10.000

one is terribly, rewritten. But it was more

00:15:10.000 –> 00:15:12.000

of, like, to establish myself as the thought

00:15:12.000 –> 00:15:14.000

leader kind of in that space.

00:15:14.000 –> 00:15:16.000

And then I wrote a book called Leadershipinterrupted,

00:15:17.000 –> 00:15:19.000

which took three hundred and sixty five of

00:15:19.000 –> 00:15:21.000

my daily emails and just kinda put them

00:15:21.000 –> 00:15:23.000

in. It’s almost like leadership devotional style. It’s

00:15:23.000 –> 00:15:24.000

like every day is a thought for for

00:15:24.000 –> 00:15:25.000

leaders.

00:15:25.000 –> 00:15:27.000

And then keep chopping wood. And then I’ve

00:15:27.000 –> 00:15:28.000

got a new one that I’m working on,

00:15:28.000 –> 00:15:30.000

called into the storm about how to deal

00:15:30.000 –> 00:15:31.000

with adversity.

00:15:32.000 –> 00:15:33.000

Love it. Love it. So let’s talk about

00:15:33.000 –> 00:15:35.000

that. How do we deal with adversity? What’s,

00:15:35.000 –> 00:15:37.000

what’s your game plan there? Cause there’s a

00:15:37.000 –> 00:15:38.000

lot of it right now.

00:15:39.000 –> 00:15:41.000

There is. And so I think

00:15:41.000 –> 00:15:44.000

so here, this story, it’s not original story,

00:15:44.000 –> 00:15:46.000

but how I’m how I’m framing is is

00:15:46.000 –> 00:15:48.000

in in an original way. But I was

00:15:48.000 –> 00:15:50.000

at Florida State, a year and a half

00:15:50.000 –> 00:15:50.000

ago,

00:15:51.000 –> 00:15:53.000

and they were introducing the new CEO

00:15:54.000 –> 00:15:56.000

of of seminal boosters. So it’s like their

00:15:56.000 –> 00:15:58.000

fundraising arm kind of for for athletics. It’s

00:15:58.000 –> 00:15:59.000

its own separate organization.

00:16:00.000 –> 00:16:00.000

And

00:16:01.000 –> 00:16:03.000

Steven Ponder, the CEO, he told the story

00:16:03.000 –> 00:16:04.000

of of,

00:16:05.000 –> 00:16:06.000

when storms come over the mountains, like in

00:16:06.000 –> 00:16:08.000

the rocky mountains, they come from the west

00:16:08.000 –> 00:16:10.000

to the east. And he said, what happens

00:16:10.000 –> 00:16:12.000

is cows, they sense storm. They know it’s

00:16:12.000 –> 00:16:14.000

coming and fear sets in. They say, we

00:16:14.000 –> 00:16:15.000

gotta get to safety. We gotta get out

00:16:15.000 –> 00:16:17.000

of here. And so cows turn and run

00:16:17.000 –> 00:16:19.000

east, away from the storm. They wanna get

00:16:19.000 –> 00:16:22.000

away from it. And cows are dumb and

00:16:22.000 –> 00:16:24.000

slow. And so what happens is they get

00:16:24.000 –> 00:16:26.000

stuck in the storm. The frustration,

00:16:27.000 –> 00:16:29.000

the obstacles, the anxiety, the

00:16:29.000 –> 00:16:31.000

fear, their frustration

00:16:31.000 –> 00:16:34.000

until eventually the storm runs out. Right? But

00:16:34.000 –> 00:16:36.000

they’re just going with the storm until eventually

00:16:36.000 –> 00:16:37.000

it passes them because every storm runs out

00:16:37.000 –> 00:16:38.000

of

00:16:38.000 –> 00:16:40.000

And so, but by the time they the

00:16:40.000 –> 00:16:43.000

storm passes, they’ve lost ground. It’s like, wait

00:16:43.000 –> 00:16:45.000

a minute. We were already over here. Now

00:16:45.000 –> 00:16:47.000

we’ve run away. We’ve gotta do all this

00:16:47.000 –> 00:16:49.000

work just to get back to where we

00:16:49.000 –> 00:16:50.000

were. We thought we were getting to safety.

00:16:50.000 –> 00:16:53.000

We actually made things worse, and we prolonged

00:16:53.000 –> 00:16:55.000

our suffering, prolong the frustration,

00:16:55.000 –> 00:16:57.000

prolong the adversity,

00:16:57.000 –> 00:16:59.000

Meanwhile, Bison,

00:16:59.000 –> 00:17:01.000

fun fact, there are no buffalo in North

00:17:01.000 –> 00:17:04.000

America. So Colorado needs a new mascot.

00:17:04.000 –> 00:17:07.000

But bison in in Colorado and in the

00:17:07.000 –> 00:17:09.000

mountains, when the storm comes over, they sense

00:17:09.000 –> 00:17:11.000

it as well. And they say, great. Let’s

00:17:11.000 –> 00:17:13.000

go through it. So instead of running away

00:17:13.000 –> 00:17:15.000

from it, Bison go into the storm. Head

00:17:15.000 –> 00:17:18.000

first, step after step, they make progress.

00:17:18.000 –> 00:17:21.000

They still experience it because you can’t avoid

00:17:21.000 –> 00:17:22.000

the storm. Right? I think most most of

00:17:22.000 –> 00:17:23.000

the issues in life is like we keep

00:17:23.000 –> 00:17:25.000

trying to avoid adversity, and you can’t. It’s

00:17:25.000 –> 00:17:26.000

guaranteed.

00:17:27.000 –> 00:17:29.000

And and when when we accept that, we

00:17:29.000 –> 00:17:31.000

say, okay. If adversity’s gonna hit, I can’t

00:17:31.000 –> 00:17:33.000

choose what it is. I can’t choose, like,

00:17:33.000 –> 00:17:35.000

I don’t know if I’m gonna get sick.

00:17:35.000 –> 00:17:36.000

I don’t know if I’m gonna lose a

00:17:36.000 –> 00:17:38.000

loved one, but I know that adversity is

00:17:38.000 –> 00:17:39.000

gonna come at some point. So if I

00:17:39.000 –> 00:17:42.000

if I expect it, I can mentally be

00:17:42.000 –> 00:17:43.000

prepared for. And I can choose to do

00:17:43.000 –> 00:17:45.000

some hard things along the way in life

00:17:45.000 –> 00:17:46.000

to actually prepare me for the the the

00:17:46.000 –> 00:17:49.000

adversity that shows up. And so they realize,

00:17:49.000 –> 00:17:50.000

like, one, we can’t avoid the adversity and

00:17:50.000 –> 00:17:53.000

two, only way through it is through it.

00:17:53.000 –> 00:17:54.000

And when you just go through it, you

00:17:54.000 –> 00:17:56.000

still experience it. Right? There’s still frustration and

00:17:56.000 –> 00:17:58.000

anxiety and fear and frustration,

00:17:58.000 –> 00:18:00.000

but there’s less of it. Right? The cows

00:18:00.000 –> 00:18:01.000

have this prolonged,

00:18:02.000 –> 00:18:03.000

frustrating experience in adversity.

00:18:04.000 –> 00:18:05.000

The bison just simply get through it because

00:18:05.000 –> 00:18:07.000

they go into it, they get through it.

00:18:07.000 –> 00:18:08.000

And then on the other side of it,

00:18:08.000 –> 00:18:11.000

they’ve made progress. Mhmm. There’d have to be

00:18:11.000 –> 00:18:12.000

a lot of progress.

00:18:12.000 –> 00:18:14.000

Like, baby steps are still progress, but they

00:18:14.000 –> 00:18:16.000

they went through it. And they got better

00:18:16.000 –> 00:18:17.000

in the midst of it. And so that’s

00:18:17.000 –> 00:18:19.000

the general idea. It’s like adversity is gonna

00:18:19.000 –> 00:18:20.000

land on your doorstep at some point, and

00:18:20.000 –> 00:18:23.000

at multiple points in your life. Right? And

00:18:23.000 –> 00:18:24.000

and there could be there’s levels to it.

00:18:24.000 –> 00:18:26.000

It could be very small adversity. It could

00:18:26.000 –> 00:18:27.000

be a major live thing.

00:18:28.000 –> 00:18:30.000

The we have the choice in that moment.

00:18:30.000 –> 00:18:31.000

What do we do with it? We gonna

00:18:31.000 –> 00:18:33.000

let fear take over, run away from it,

00:18:33.000 –> 00:18:35.000

or we say, no. No. The only way

00:18:35.000 –> 00:18:36.000

through this, it’s not gonna be fun. It

00:18:36.000 –> 00:18:38.000

could be messy. It’s gonna be difficult. Like,

00:18:38.000 –> 00:18:39.000

it’s not it’s not saying there’s an easy

00:18:39.000 –> 00:18:42.000

path. But it’s the best path. Yeah. Yeah.

00:18:42.000 –> 00:18:43.000

It’s it’s to your point, I was it

00:18:43.000 –> 00:18:45.000

is gonna show up. Right? And I think

00:18:45.000 –> 00:18:47.000

so many times as we’re growing as leaders.

00:18:47.000 –> 00:18:48.000

We we want it just to be the

00:18:48.000 –> 00:18:51.000

straight line, but, obviously, success doesn’t work that

00:18:51.000 –> 00:18:52.000

way. Right? It’s a really squiggly market, and

00:18:52.000 –> 00:18:54.000

hopefully it ends up higher than where we

00:18:54.000 –> 00:18:56.000

started. But talk about, I I I can

00:18:56.000 –> 00:18:57.000

for me when I was, you know, I

00:18:57.000 –> 00:18:59.000

have a defining moments in my life, you

00:18:59.000 –> 00:19:01.000

know, like my second year as a financial

00:19:01.000 –> 00:19:03.000

advisor, the, you know, these different things that

00:19:03.000 –> 00:19:04.000

happen.

00:19:04.000 –> 00:19:07.000

What what moment for you was this light

00:19:07.000 –> 00:19:09.000

bulb moment? Maybe, like, in tough times, something

00:19:09.000 –> 00:19:10.000

you learned

00:19:11.000 –> 00:19:12.000

that, man, you’re just like, how did I

00:19:12.000 –> 00:19:14.000

not know that before? Any moments like that

00:19:14.000 –> 00:19:16.000

for you to stick out?

00:19:16.000 –> 00:19:18.000

Yeah. There was so year

00:19:20.000 –> 00:19:21.000

probably one, maybe two.

00:19:22.000 –> 00:19:24.000

When I was first starting Fieldhouse Media. So

00:19:24.000 –> 00:19:26.000

I had started another company. It failed miserably.

00:19:26.000 –> 00:19:27.000

It was in the health care world, which

00:19:27.000 –> 00:19:29.000

was my previous background.

00:19:30.000 –> 00:19:32.000

Like, zero dollars in a year failed like,

00:19:32.000 –> 00:19:34.000

so if there’s any any students listening or

00:19:34.000 –> 00:19:36.000

people starting business, like, the goal is to

00:19:36.000 –> 00:19:38.000

make more than zero dollars. Yes. You’ve got

00:19:38.000 –> 00:19:40.000

you’ve got bills to pay. Right? And so

00:19:40.000 –> 00:19:41.000

I I was at zero.

00:19:41.000 –> 00:19:43.000

Like, it was bad enough. Like, I had

00:19:43.000 –> 00:19:45.000

to sell a bicycle to pay a mortgage.

00:19:45.000 –> 00:19:46.000

Like, it was it was not good.

00:19:47.000 –> 00:19:49.000

And then I had this idea for field

00:19:49.000 –> 00:19:50.000

house media. And

00:19:51.000 –> 00:19:52.000

and I went to my wife and, like,

00:19:52.000 –> 00:19:54.000

you know, clearly I’m great at business.

00:19:55.000 –> 00:19:56.000

I think I should start another one. And

00:19:56.000 –> 00:19:58.000

for some reason, she was like, let’s go

00:19:58.000 –> 00:19:59.000

for it. And and we both felt like

00:19:59.000 –> 00:20:01.000

it was the right move But it was

00:20:01.000 –> 00:20:03.000

another year of

00:20:03.000 –> 00:20:04.000

no’s.

00:20:04.000 –> 00:20:06.000

Right? Every day was a no. Every day

00:20:06.000 –> 00:20:08.000

was a failure if if that’s the the

00:20:08.000 –> 00:20:09.000

definition of success if I’m trying to if

00:20:09.000 –> 00:20:10.000

if I’m trying to get a yes, I

00:20:10.000 –> 00:20:11.000

just got no’s.

00:20:12.000 –> 00:20:14.000

And it was I mean, I was depressed.

00:20:14.000 –> 00:20:16.000

I was anxious. I was, like, I’m not

00:20:16.000 –> 00:20:18.000

a huge person. Like, I was losing a

00:20:18.000 –> 00:20:19.000

ton of weight. I wasn’t sleeping.

00:20:20.000 –> 00:20:21.000

It was, like, we found out we were

00:20:21.000 –> 00:20:24.000

pregnant with our second son in that season.

00:20:24.000 –> 00:20:26.000

And my wife cried when we found out

00:20:26.000 –> 00:20:27.000

and not tears of joy. It was like,

00:20:27.000 –> 00:20:29.000

how are we gonna do this? Like,

00:20:29.000 –> 00:20:31.000

and but there was this we we had

00:20:31.000 –> 00:20:34.000

thankfully, you know, some poor mentors around us,

00:20:34.000 –> 00:20:36.000

a community around us, people around us,

00:20:37.000 –> 00:20:39.000

who believed in us, but also believed in

00:20:39.000 –> 00:20:41.000

what we were doing. And so, like, we

00:20:41.000 –> 00:20:43.000

we were having a weekly conversation with my

00:20:43.000 –> 00:20:45.000

wife, and I was like, hey, is this

00:20:45.000 –> 00:20:46.000

still the right path? Do we actually believe

00:20:47.000 –> 00:20:49.000

that this is the right path? Is this

00:20:49.000 –> 00:20:50.000

suffering worth it?

00:20:51.000 –> 00:20:52.000

And so we had to make a choice

00:20:52.000 –> 00:20:54.000

pretty much every week. Is this suffering worth

00:20:54.000 –> 00:20:55.000

it? And,

00:20:56.000 –> 00:20:58.000

what I wish I had known back in,

00:20:58.000 –> 00:21:00.000

and it and it certainly it it worked

00:21:00.000 –> 00:21:01.000

out. What I wish I had known,

00:21:03.000 –> 00:21:04.000

is that even in the midst of choosing

00:21:04.000 –> 00:21:07.000

to continue to enter into it, I wish

00:21:07.000 –> 00:21:09.000

I would have had a better attitude

00:21:09.000 –> 00:21:11.000

when I was, like, when I was actually

00:21:11.000 –> 00:21:13.000

in it. Because there was a lot of,

00:21:13.000 –> 00:21:14.000

like, we’d have the conversation, like, yeah, I

00:21:14.000 –> 00:21:16.000

feel like this is the right thing. Great.

00:21:16.000 –> 00:21:17.000

So I’d go back to work the next

00:21:17.000 –> 00:21:19.000

day and try to keep building. But my

00:21:19.000 –> 00:21:20.000

attitude the whole time was, like, this isn’t

00:21:21.000 –> 00:21:22.000

I was I was actually thinking this isn’t

00:21:22.000 –> 00:21:23.000

worth it. It’s not gonna work. I just

00:21:24.000 –> 00:21:26.000

I’ve I’ve come so negative,

00:21:27.000 –> 00:21:29.000

and so beaten down, I just didn’t I

00:21:29.000 –> 00:21:30.000

didn’t think it was gonna work even though

00:21:30.000 –> 00:21:32.000

I’ve I was trying to convince myself

00:21:32.000 –> 00:21:35.000

I wish I would’ve, had a better attitude,

00:21:35.000 –> 00:21:36.000

and I wish I would’ve,

00:21:36.000 –> 00:21:38.000

we had good community around us, but I

00:21:38.000 –> 00:21:40.000

wish I would’ve leaned more into that community.

00:21:41.000 –> 00:21:43.000

That’s part of the the new books, like,

00:21:43.000 –> 00:21:45.000

the power of your herd. Like, the people

00:21:45.000 –> 00:21:46.000

around you dictate your future.

00:21:47.000 –> 00:21:49.000

And I had the people around me,

00:21:49.000 –> 00:21:52.000

in my future, worked out okay, probably accidentally,

00:21:52.000 –> 00:21:54.000

which is just not how you want it

00:21:54.000 –> 00:21:55.000

to work out.

00:21:55.000 –> 00:21:57.000

It could have been better faster if I

00:21:57.000 –> 00:21:58.000

had actually leaned into the power of the

00:21:58.000 –> 00:22:01.000

people around me, because they were they wanted

00:22:01.000 –> 00:22:03.000

to pour in. They wanted to do whatever.

00:22:03.000 –> 00:22:05.000

And I was prideful in the midst of

00:22:05.000 –> 00:22:07.000

it saying, you know, I can I can

00:22:07.000 –> 00:22:08.000

do this on my own? And I and

00:22:08.000 –> 00:22:10.000

I didn’t because you never do it alone,

00:22:10.000 –> 00:22:12.000

but I wish I’d I wish I understood

00:22:12.000 –> 00:22:14.000

the power of the herd earlier on. Yep.

00:22:14.000 –> 00:22:17.000

It is so powerful, so powerful. And so

00:22:17.000 –> 00:22:19.000

thinking about that, I

00:22:20.000 –> 00:22:22.000

I read this quote recently that really hit

00:22:22.000 –> 00:22:24.000

me, and it was it said, you know,

00:22:24.000 –> 00:22:26.000

make decisions based on your knowledge,

00:22:26.000 –> 00:22:28.000

not on your emotion.

00:22:28.000 –> 00:22:30.000

Right? Yep. So it’s easy to say I

00:22:30.000 –> 00:22:32.000

wanna go to the gym and base it

00:22:32.000 –> 00:22:33.000

on knowledge, but there’s days you don’t wanna

00:22:33.000 –> 00:22:35.000

do it. Right? So what have you found

00:22:35.000 –> 00:22:37.000

yourself Gilliland, you know, these other leaders and

00:22:37.000 –> 00:22:40.000

these coaches and athletic directors and all the

00:22:40.000 –> 00:22:41.000

people you’re around,

00:22:41.000 –> 00:22:42.000

what do you find

00:22:42.000 –> 00:22:45.000

is is that thing, right, that gets them

00:22:45.000 –> 00:22:47.000

going to the, quote, unquote, gym, what it

00:22:47.000 –> 00:22:49.000

may be. What is that thing that helps

00:22:49.000 –> 00:22:52.000

them base their decision on knowledge?

00:22:53.000 –> 00:22:54.000

Yeah. I think for me,

00:22:55.000 –> 00:22:56.000

it’s honoring your commitments.

00:22:57.000 –> 00:22:59.000

Meaning if I committed to doing it yesterday,

00:23:00.000 –> 00:23:01.000

it doesn’t matter how I feel today.

00:23:02.000 –> 00:23:04.000

So I I’ve lately, I’ve been phrasing it

00:23:04.000 –> 00:23:05.000

kind of that way. It’s like, I wanna

00:23:05.000 –> 00:23:07.000

honor yesterday’s commit not today’s feelings.

00:23:08.000 –> 00:23:10.000

Because I it’s your point. I’m not gonna

00:23:10.000 –> 00:23:11.000

feel like it all the time, and nobody

00:23:11.000 –> 00:23:13.000

does. And I and I think that’s the

00:23:13.000 –> 00:23:15.000

biggest thing is is when I when I

00:23:15.000 –> 00:23:17.000

talk to young people today, whether that’s college

00:23:17.000 –> 00:23:19.000

students or or young professionals,

00:23:20.000 –> 00:23:21.000

a lot of it is how they feel.

00:23:22.000 –> 00:23:24.000

I’m like Yep. I’m not trying to be

00:23:24.000 –> 00:23:26.000

dismissive, but I just don’t really care. How

00:23:26.000 –> 00:23:28.000

you feel like we all have days. We

00:23:28.000 –> 00:23:29.000

don’t feel like it. This is part of

00:23:29.000 –> 00:23:31.000

life doesn’t mean you have a bad boss,

00:23:31.000 –> 00:23:32.000

doesn’t mean you have a bad team, doesn’t

00:23:32.000 –> 00:23:34.000

mean you’re in the wrong job. It just

00:23:34.000 –> 00:23:36.000

means that life is hard some days, and

00:23:36.000 –> 00:23:38.000

we don’t always feel like it. And and

00:23:38.000 –> 00:23:40.000

who you actually are, is determined by how

00:23:40.000 –> 00:23:42.000

you show up when you don’t feel like

00:23:42.000 –> 00:23:43.000

it. Because if if we all just showed

00:23:43.000 –> 00:23:44.000

up when we when we felt like it,

00:23:44.000 –> 00:23:46.000

we would make zero progress.

00:23:46.000 –> 00:23:48.000

Right. And but if I can, you know,

00:23:48.000 –> 00:23:51.000

I’ve I’ve been really consistent, and I’m not

00:23:51.000 –> 00:23:52.000

a disciplined person,

00:23:52.000 –> 00:23:54.000

but I’ve trained myself to be disciplined. Right?

00:23:54.000 –> 00:23:56.000

It’s not a personality trait. It’s it’s a

00:23:56.000 –> 00:23:58.000

Gilliland

00:23:58.000 –> 00:24:00.000

so I’ve I found that when I when

00:24:00.000 –> 00:24:00.000

I

00:24:01.000 –> 00:24:02.000

live my live my commitments,

00:24:04.000 –> 00:24:05.000

the the more I choose it the easier

00:24:05.000 –> 00:24:06.000

it gets.

00:24:07.000 –> 00:24:07.000

Meaning,

00:24:08.000 –> 00:24:09.000

so I’ve I’ve worked out,

00:24:10.000 –> 00:24:12.000

every day now for over three hundred and

00:24:12.000 –> 00:24:13.000

sixty five days.

00:24:14.000 –> 00:24:15.000

And and I just do it at my

00:24:15.000 –> 00:24:18.000

house. Like Yep. I’m I’m big on eliminating

00:24:18.000 –> 00:24:20.000

as many barriers as possible. It’s like, man,

00:24:20.000 –> 00:24:21.000

I don’t wanna wake up and get on

00:24:21.000 –> 00:24:22.000

gym clothes and drive to the gym and

00:24:22.000 –> 00:24:24.000

deal that and drive home. Okay. Can you

00:24:24.000 –> 00:24:26.000

do something in your house?

00:24:26.000 –> 00:24:27.000

You know, what can you do it? Like,

00:24:27.000 –> 00:24:29.000

go start simple, then you