Welcome to days 5 and 6 of our 30-Day Micro Leadership Course…for Sunday, September 5th and 6th. Labor Day Weekend and out-of-town company, coupled with just too much stuff going on derailed my continuity briefly. Hey, it happens. So we adapt, right? So today let’s compress two days into a single episode. 
We’re going to advance in our progression of leadership components and talk first about understanding. 
We’ve established that we begin with the most important ingredient, humility. That fosters curiosity where we work to seek answers. More accurately, we seek knowledge. And we need knowledge so we can understand. This is the opposite of much of what we see in the world today. For good reason. Understanding is hard. Judgment is easy. To be more specific, harsh judgment is easy. 
What is understanding? 
Let’s keep things simple and straightforward. Understanding is the accurate comprehensive. Clarity. Whether it’s a situation, a relationship, what was said, what was written…whatever it is, it’s the clear comprehension of what’s happening or what has happened.
Does it have to be perfect? No. But it has to be more perfect than not. Confirmation is required. How? Communication. 
An employee who mostly performs far above average is struggling. She’s obviously somewhat disengaged, but her manager chooses not to jump to a conclusion. After a few days of quiet observation, he calls her into his office for a conversation. 
“Margaret, I wanted to check on you because you’re not yourself lately. I can tell something is wrong and I wondered if I might be able to help you.”
Margaret looks down, her eyes well up and her lips begin to quiver. 
“Margaret, I don’t want to pry in areas that are none of my business, but you’re such a valuable employee…I want to make sure I’m doing whatever I can to support you.”
He hands her a tissue and gives her space to gather herself so she can speak. She proceeds to tell him that 3 days ago her mother, a cancer survivor, received word from her latest checkup. “It’s back,” she said. “And it’s not good.”  She breaks down weeping. 
Do you think her manager understands? Do you think this situation is now clear? Of course. Both people share an understanding of the true circumstance of what’s happening. There is no conjecture. No false assumptions. Just honest, open truth that they can now face together – at least as far as Margaret’s work is concerned. 
Consider what could have happened. No conversation. No questions. Just constant, nagging wondering, “What’s going on with Margaret?” 
Communication is required. Dialogue. Not talking at somebody. Not talking to somebody. Seeking answers with questions. And doing so without critical judgment, but rather with empathy and compassion so we can first understand what’s happening. 
Our understanding will determine what happens next…or what we think should happen. 
The various understandings I’ve had through the years include marital infidelity, drug and alcohol abuse, financial problems, deaths, fatal diagnoses, career unhappiness, gambling problems and legal problems. In most cases, there’s no way I could have known without asking questions. And without knowing, understanding would have been impossible. I often think of the disasters I’ve avoided because I didn’t jump to a conclusion before I gained understanding.
Compassion. 
You could argue that we need this all along the way. I wouldn’t press the matter. Empathy is crucial and maybe my view of empathy is slightly more nuanced than most. I view empathy is the willingness to understand before you render a judgment.