We’re approaching Thanksgiving Day here in America. One week away.
Our personal growth is significantly impacted by other people. Within the past few weeks, I’ve conducted a few leadership workshops. I regularly illustrate our ability to help each other by telling stories of people – particularly older men – who influenced me. These were men I sought out, making investments to forge a relationship that otherwise wasn’t likely going to happen. In some cases, I took a chance. In other cases, it happened a bit more organically. But in every case, I behaved with high intentions, often being relentless because the relationship mattered that much to me.
Before I go dark for the rest of November – because many of you will be taking time off and others of you will be busy because business is hitting a higher gear – I want to talk with you about finding and forging relationships. The kind that can make a big difference in your life – professionally and personally.
Let’s have some fun – some learning fun.
Think of a person in your life who isn’t a family member. Somebody with whom you feel safe.
Here I’ll help you think of a specific person. This person is somebody you can talk to about just about anything. Maybe you can talk to them about everything – anything! Even better.
You don’t fret about confessing anything to them because you know they have your best interest at heart. You also know that whatever you tell them will never be used against you.
The person I want you to think of is that kind of person, but they’re also somebody who doesn’t jump to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. Mostly, they listen so they can better understand your situation.
Yes, they want to help you do what’s best, but they’re not anxious to live your life for you. They challenge you with ease because they want you to be your best. It’s about YOU. It’s not about them.
Have you got a name in mind yet?
Now, go back and think about how that relationship got going. Was it a chance meeting? Was it more intentional? How did it happen?
The man pictured to illustrate today’s episode is Ronny Wade. He passed away earlier this year at the age of 83. He had been a lifelong mentor of mine since I was a young adult. He was an educator, serving as an elementary school principal in Springfield, Missouri, but mostly, he was a gospel preacher. My parents were close to him, knowing him since he was just a 16-year-old kid from Ft. Worth, Texas. So he had known me since I was born. That only made it easier for me to find him, but I still had to forge the relationship.
The man earned my respect. I admired his knowledge and wisdom. I trusted him because he had proven himself trustworthy. By being the man he was, I made a conscious decision to make him chief among my mentors. No, I never approached him and officially bestowed that title on him. I just set about to make it happen because I knew he could serve me unlike anybody I knew – or anybody else I knew of.
I’m thankful I took the chance. And I’m thankful I did it when I was young. He was 20 years my senior. Things are quite different when your mentor is 83 and you’re 63. It’s not quite the same when you’re 20 and he’s 40. It’s a bit scarier. Feels riskier. I didn’t care. By the time I was 15 I knew I was going to grow closer to him. And I did.
Rarely do good things happen just because of pure chance. Usually, in my experience, there’s some degree of intentionality – some specific actions taken that improve the odds of a good outcome. So it was in my finding and forging a relationship with Ronny.
The man never wanted anything for me that wasn’t for my best. Spiritually, or otherwise.