Look around. At your friends. At the people who surround you. The people with whom you interact the most. These people who influence your life. These people with whom you spend much or most of your time.
Echoing the law of averages, motivational speaker Jim Rohn said that we’re the average of our 5 closest friends. It’s also been said that if you show somebody your closest friends they’ll be able to show you your future.
Humans are more complex than that. It’s not so cut and dried. It’s not a certainty either.
Associations matter. The compelling proof is found in all of our lives.
We raise our children to make friends with good kids, not troublemakers. When they become teenagers we want them to guard their hearts so they don’t fall in with “the wrong crowd.”
1 Corinthians 15:33 “Be not deceived: Evil companionships corrupt good morals.”
We’re deceived if we disbelieve it. We can’t be closely associated with people expecting they’ll have no impact or influence on us. Especially the people who don’t want our best.
Jordan B. Peterson noted intellectual, included rule number 3 in his book, 12 Rules For Life: An Antidote To Chaos —“Make friends with people who want the best for you.”
Writes Peterson, “Friendship is a reciprocal arrangement…you should choose people who want things to be better, not worse.”
Of course, the challenge is knowing what’s better. And what’s worse. That can be our first deception – not knowing the difference.
Peterson continues…
“If you surround yourself with people who support your upward aim, they will not tolerate your cynicism and destructiveness. They will instead encourage you when you do good for yourself and others and punish you carefully when you do not.”
Upward aim. Growth. Improvement.
Destructiveness. Damage. Ruin. Loss.
Good.
Bad.
First, we must decide what we want. It’s unlikely – if not impossible – that anything will be improved until we first make up our minds that THAT is what we want.
Good doesn’t just happen. We have to seek it. Crave it deeply enough that we commit to it.
Bad does just happen. It’s easy requiring only self-centeredness. Selfishness. Disregard for others.
Bad habits occur when we just stop paying attention and do nothing. Not so with good habits. They demand higher intentions and dedicated effort. It’s the difference in building something or in letting entropy happen. Nobody is earning a degree in Entropy, but there are degrees in Architecture.
Have you decided to grow, improve and aim higher?
Good. Then you’re ready to not only help yourself but others. Look for people who want the best for themselves and others, too. People who have made up their minds just as you have. That common bond is where it has to start.
Sounds good, but is it real? Not always. Plenty of folks are able to talk a big game. Actions show you reality.
Gauge people by how they behave and the choices they make. You’ll quickly learn who wants their best and your best, too. Just remember, they’re paying attention to you, too. Judging you with the same judgment. So be sure you’ve made up your mind that you want to aim higher for yourself AND others. Behave accordingly.
After you’ve made up your mind subtraction is likely necessary. You have people in your life who aren’t that interested in your best. They may not even be interested in their own improvement or growth, except financially. You’re looking for people who value other things more highly than money or financial success. Personal and professional growth may include financial success, but friends who want your best and who want the best for themselves (and others) donR...