We’re now up to chapter 4, “Habit Of Relationship.”
Leaders need external and disinterested people who can help them explore sensitive issues and uncertainties. Otherwise, they become isolated. 
With power and responsibility comes isolation. Every leader is surrounded by people who have an agenda. 
There is a difference between allies and confidants. Allies provide the second opinion. Rather than approach the people on your team as enemies or as threats, see them as the allies they are (and should be). Their opinions are valuable to you. 
It’s all part of the Habit of Relationship.
The Habit Of Relationship Begins With Relationship To Self
You need to learn how to work with team members and thinking partners (Habit of Relationship) to make sure you’re undertaking the right kind of thinking (Habit of Mind) on important issues. In fully engaged exponential thinking with others you:

* Listen.
* Are willing to be wrong.
* Ask for help.
* Create an environment in which people feel safe expressing opinions. 
* Share the spotlight.
* Know when to do expert and exponential thinking.
* Think about yourself as part of a larger whole — or many larger wholes.
* Are committed to developing your own capacity and that of others.

How many times have you worked with leaders who you felt really didn’t listen, never admitted being wrong, or took all the credit? How likely were they to miss things, have others not tell them important information, or find themselves unwittingly out on a limb on some issue? How often did you feel such leaders were committed to developing the best in their team or in themselves?
Now, look at yourself. How would you rate yourself in all those areas? Knowing yourself is the starting point. The next step is to build relationships that support and sustain your leadership, with trust. Trust isn’t static. It changes. There are many good reasons to build a high-trust company and culture, but that doesn’t mean the same levels of trust apply to everybody equally. Trust has to be constantly revisited. 
Understanding Trust
The author’s research reveals three fundamental distinctions of trust that leaders must understand and develop: personal trust, expertise trust, and structural trust. 
Personal trust. This is the trust that develops in the workplace from shared tasks and an understanding of what makes your colleagues tick. For most, this is the basic meaning of trust. It’s knowing your teammates won’t let you down when it counts. It’s also a problem for people promoted to leadership. 
It boils down to your belief if the person is honest and ethical. And your belief they’ll make good on their word. Coupled with your confidence that they’ll maintain confidentiality and discretion. 
This understanding of trust is what gets leaders into trouble later on. The team that proved so ready to help when you were one of them has a different agenda now that you’re a leader. They now are looking at you for two things: the same old trust and something new, access to the power and influence that come with your new position. 
You can’t trust them as you once did. You know something is different, even if you can’t clarify what it is. So you start to behave differently. 
Two new kinds of trust that go beyond personal trust now become important. Failure to understand them will trap you and end your career before you even have a chance to soar. 
Expertise Trust
This trust comes from competence and knowledge in a particular area. You’ve got colleagues who are brilliant about a specific area. You feel completely confident speaking with them about that area. But there are other areas of the business that yo...