Are your days filled with problems rather than positivity and sunshine? Discover the simple keys to happiness because life is too short to be grumpy!

On this week’s episode of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast, I had the pleasure of hosting Deborah Mallow, a.k.a. your personal ray of sunshine. Deborah spent years cracking the code on how to inspire positivity and end self-sabotage, which she details in her book, Six Steps to Fewer Days That Suck.

Trust me, this is not just fluffy, feel-good advice—her methods are practical, doable, and shockingly effective. Let’s dig into some of the wisdom she shared.

Get Deborah’s Free Gift – You can join her Positive Energy Club and download her Motivational Checklist, Happiness Worksheets, and Feel-Good Activities that will help you build a life that’s lighter, brighter, and way more fun!

Your Brain Loves the Drama

Ever wonder why your brain clings to that one annoying comment someone made five years ago instead of the dozens of compliments you’ve received since? Blame it on your ancestors.

As Deborah explains, negativity bias is an ancient survival mechanism. Back when our biggest problem was not getting eaten by a saber-toothed tiger, focusing on danger kept us alive.

But in today’s world, there are no saber-toothed tigers lurking around the corner. Yet, our brains still act like every inconvenience is a life-threatening crisis.

The good news? You can rewire your brain to focus on the positive. With conscious effort, you can boost the feel-good neurotransmitters—dopamine and serotonin—while lowering stress-related hormones like cortisol.

And no, this doesn’t mean forcing yourself to be toxically positive. It’s about making small, conscious shifts that add up over time to help you feel more optimistic and uplifted.

Here’s what my honeysuckle vine told me about joy.

Break the Habit of Misery

Deborah introduced me to a concept I absolutely love: being personally considerate. It’s about treating yourself with the same level of patience and kindness that you (hopefully) extend to others. In other words, stop being so mean to yourself.

Many people get stuck in a loop of negative self-talk, replaying their failures like a bad highlight reel. But here’s the trick that has worked like a charm for me. The moment you catch yourself spiraling, ask, “What would I rather be thinking right now?

That one powerful question can redirect your focus and stop negativity in its tracks. It’s simple, but incredibly impactful.

Turn Annoyance into Laughter

I shared a personal story with Deborah that I think a lot of people can relate to. My husband got into this habit of singing the same theme song from a TV show we were watching, over and over. I felt like my brain might actually explode.

It was drivng me nuts. I’d roll my eyes and sigh dramatically, and I actually asked him to just stop. The next day, I had an epiphany: The problem wasn’t the song, it was my reaction to the song.

Instead of fuming, I joined him! We sang the theme togther at the end of every episode and suddenly, something that annoyed me became something we did together and laughed about.

Deborah pointed out that most of life’s irritations don’t actually matter. Like the next day it’s over and you’re on to something else. If you can learn to laugh at them, you win. Simple as that.

Perfectionism Is the Enemy

Ever spend an absurd amount of time tweaking an email, redoing your eyeliner, or rewriting a to-do list just to make it perfect. (Guilty.)

I refer to this as  the “margin of diminishing returns” which is actually something I lerned in my college economics class. The point is there comes a time when the extra effort doesn’t actually improve the outcome—it just stresses you out.

Instead of obsessing over perfection, focus on what actually moves the needle. Will it ruin your day if you don’t rewrite that sentence five times? Probably not. Will it ruin your day if your eyeliner is a tiny bit uneven? Only if you let it.

Perfectionism is a trap, and the sooner you escape it, the happier you’ll be.

Stop Anger in Its Tracks

Let’s talk about anger. We all experience it, but how we handle it makes all the difference.

Deborah swears by a simple but effective technique: Breathing. Not just any breathing, though. She recommends a conscious breath where you deeply inhale, hold for a moment, and then slowly exhale while imagining releasing all that frustration.

Maybe you breathe in to the count of four, hold for four and releae for the ount of six. Why does this work? Because breathing physically shifts your nervous system. It moves you from a fight-or-flight state to a place of calm control.

So, next time someone cuts you off in traffic or your internet crashes mid-Zoom call, take a breath before you react. It might just save your sanity.

Daily Rituals for Happiness

One of the best ways to prevent bad days from spiraling is to have a solid set of mood-boosting rituals. Deborah shared some of her favorites:

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• The Gratitude Jar: Write down one good thing each day and toss it in a jar. On tough days, pull one out and remind yourself that life isn’t all bad.
  
• Dance Therapy: Put on your favorite song and dance like an absolute maniac. It’s nearly impossible to stay in a bad mood when you’re flailing around like a happy lunatic.
  
• The 30-Second Smile Trick: Smile for 30 seconds, even if you don’t feel like it. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between a real and fake smile—it just starts releasing feel-good chemicals anyway.
  
• Creativity Breaks: Doodle, paint, or write silly poetry. Engaging in creative activities can reset your brain and boost your mood.
  

Happiness Is in Your Hands

At the end of the day, the biggest takeaway from my chat with Deborah is this – you have more control over your happiness than you might think.

Yes, life can be messy and people can be annoying. Yes, bad days happen. But you always have a choice in how you react.

What small shift can you make today? Maybe you can…

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• Laugh at an annoyance instead of stressing over it?
  
• Replace a negative thought with a more constructive positive one?
  
• Take a deep breath before reacting?
  

It’s all about tiny, intentional changes that stack up over time. Before you know it, you’ll find yourself having fewer days that suck—and way more that actually feel pretty darn good.

Now go forth and make today a little happier. You’ve got this!

BIO – Deborah Mallow

Deborah Mallow is called a Ray of Sunshine—a charismatic, enthusiastic, and inspiring motivational speaker and seasoned positive energy, success coach. She is also the author of book 6 Steps To Fewer Days That Suck, which shares strategies, solutions, stories and some science to turn negative habits into positive ones.

Additionally, she is the creator of The Daily Decisions (self-improvement essentials to reinforce positive habits) and the Positive Energy Club. She’s not about forcing positivity, but approaching life differently. Discover how to achieve a positive mindset and make life a little easier to enjoy more, worry less, and find the sunshine!

Website & Social Media

Website: https://thedailydecisions.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/daily.decisions/

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