Why You Should Listen?

As parents, there is an internal struggle of desperately wanting your children to be better than yourself and better than the way they are currently acting or performing. This is not a bad desire. However, it becomes dangerous whenever this desire leads to controlling your children. You have to let your kids go through the process, whatever it may be, even if there are mistakes along the way.

Ultimately, performance-based love from parents produces performance-based identities in their children. Studies have actually proven that even telling your children something positive along the lines of, “You’re a good basketball player,” can actually have a detrimental effect on them because their entire identity is based on their performance. Therefore, whenever they have a day when they are a bad basketball player, they will consequently feel worthless and empty. It’s far too easy to hook a kid’s identity to what they are doing or what they have done. That is why it is important to implement character into everything because you hook their identity to something much more long lasting and important than their performance.

Steve and Lorri Zeller (parents of Luke, Tyler, and Cody Zeller) provide an inside look, in their book “Raising Boys The Zeller Way,” at the principles they implemented in their household.  Luke, Tyler, and Cody each finished at the top of their high school class, won Indiana's famed Mr. Basketball award, went on to play basketball at Division I universities, and play in the NBA. But most importantly, they have turned out to be high character people.

In this Podcast, Steve and Lori share important lessons they learned from mistakes they made to become better parents.  You will learn about a car ride with Luke that transformed Steve from being a “Helicopter Parent” to a “Supportive/Loving Parent.”   Sports psychologist Jarrod Spencer, author of The Sky Is Not the Limit, says that athletes commonly rank the ride home with their parents as their worst sports memory. Spencer suggests that it’s one reason why 75 percent of kids stop playing sports by age thirteen.  Steve was able to use that car ride to develop a better bond with his children, allow them to go through processes and enjoy the journey.  He gives great tips on how you as a parent can do the same with your children.  Steve and Lori have come in contact with so many parents who try so hard to make sure their kids are successful athletes without even thinking about how it might impact the child within.

There is so much great information throughout their interview.  Our hope is this podcast will give parents the tools to raise children who enjoy their sports experiences and become high character people through the journey!

Enjoy this episode of The Jim Huber Show!

What You will Hear In This Podcast

0:34- A Car Ride Home That Changed Steve Zeller’s Life
1:24- What to Say After a Game to Your Child
1:48- Tips for Parents to be able to act Appropriately at Games
4:22- How Performance Based Love Can Damage Kids' Self-Worth
5:16- Do You do Things for Your Child or is it for Yourself
6:38- The Importance of Having Your Child go Through Processes
7:56- The Pride of the Zeller Name
8:44- Facing Consequences for the Actions Taken
9:54- A Story of how Grace can be Shown for Poor Decisions
11:42- Kids Need You to be a Parent not a Friend at Early Ages
12:49- Strategies to Implement Discipline in the Home with Your Children
13:35- Transitioning from the Discipline to the Trust Factor with Your Children
14:34- A Moment that Steve felt Loved by his Father’s Actions
17:14- How Luke Taught Steve to say “I Love You”
18:32- Don’t Judge People on the Basis of What Happened to You
19:45- Parents Need to Realize that You can Learn from Your Children