What are you running from? What are you avoiding, hoping it doesn’t catch up with you?

In our study of Genesis, Jacob had been on the run for years. He had tricked his brother Esau out of the birthright and the blessing of their father, so he ran. And finally one night, when he was all alone, in his worst place of fear and vulnerability, God met him. All this time, God had been chasing him. Not chasing him to punish him, but chasing him to change him.

Jacob’s identity was that of a trickster. Everyone knew Jacob was willing to twist the truth and do whatever was needed to get what he wanted. But most importantly, Jacob knew that about himself. From before birth while in his mother’s womb with his twin brother, he was fighting. His very name declared he was a deceiver. He had cheated his way to success.

But still God didn’t give up on Jacob. Isn’t that wild? God still knew his potential and never cancelled his calling. God continued to pursue Jacob.

This is the most reassuring thing for a girl like me who has chased after the wrong things, done good things the wrong way, and gotten a little lost along the way. God never gave up on me.

My friend, God’s not giving up on you. I don’t know what path you’ve been wandering around on, what mess you’ve gotten tangled in, or what secret you’re keeping – but you need to know this – God is still chasing after you! He still knows your potential. His calling on your life still stands.

Jacob had a rare moment of being all alone, and it was in that moment of stillness that God caught him. He had received word that after all these years of being away from his family in a distant land making a life for his own, his brother was looking for him. Yes, the brother he had tricked. The brother he had done wrong. Esau, the burly hunter was hunting for Jacob, and he had 400 soldiers with him.

So, Jacob sends all of his workers and all his family across the river to protect them from this attack, and it left him alone in the camp for the night. And there, God finds him. GOD CAN FIND US IN OUR WORST PLACE.

Why was God looking for Jacob? Not to punish him. Not to convict him. Quite simply to change him. To give him a new identity that would carry him into his divine purpose.

There, in this place where Jacob can’t run anymore, he wrestles it out with God. Did you know it’s okay to wrestle something out with God? It’s okay to struggle your way through faith and obedience. It’s okay to ask God how, when and why. God is big enough to handle anything you bring to him. All he asks is that you DO bring it to him.

Here, in Genesis 32, Jacob wrestles with God. And God asks him in verse 27, “What is your name?” Why would God ask Jacob his name? Doesn’t God know who he’s wrestling with? Oh absolutely, God knows. After all, God’s been chasing him. God’s been waiting for the moment Jacob quit running and got alone with him. God asked Jacob his name for one reason – TO CHANGE HOW HE SAW HIMSELF.

He replied, “Jacob.” Jacob, the name he had always lived with that reminded him he was always a trickster – always a deceiver – always the one twisting the truth, fighting to get his own way. And in that moment, God gave him a new identity. Verse 28, “Your name will no longer be Jacob. From now on you will be called Israel, because you have fought with God and with men and have won.”

Israel is a radically new name with a new identity. Israel means you have struggled it out with God and relied on him fully.

Jacob was struggling with God, demanding his blessing. At no time was God too weak for Jacob. At no time was God limited in power. But with a tremendous act of grace, God let’s Jacob win in the struggle and blesses him. And in this, Jacob for the first time realizes he can’t do life without God. He can’t continue to outrun his angry brother. He can’t continue to force his own way. He can’t continue to cheat and lie. Right here, God is changing him.

And that’s what God does. God meets us in our worst place and our self-created mess, and he allows us to struggle it out with him. He covers us in grace we don’t deserve, blesses us in ways we could never imagine, and changes our identity to be fully dependent on him.

Jacob now has the new name of Israel. And while he would still often be called Jacob, he knew he was no longer the trickster he used to be. He was a man covered in God’s grace. God didn’t have to let him win, but God graciously gave him the blessing.

My favorite part of the story comes next in Genesis 33. Jacob has devised this elaborate plan to send gifts ahead of him to meet his angry brother and the 400 soldiers after him, hoping to save his own life and family from the deserved attack and payback from his previous sin. Everything he had been running from in fear was about to come to him head on, and he was so afraid.

But, when Esau sees his brother Jacob, this is what happened instead. Verse 4, “Then Esau ran to meet him and embraced him, threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they both wept.”

When Jacob stopped running and completely relied on God’s grace, everything he had been running from proved to be a blessing. His angry brother didn’t want to kill him, he wanted to reunite with him.

I don’t know what you’ve been running from – but maybe God is showing you today that if you’ll depend solely on him, he will cover you with the grace to see there was nothing to run from. Everything you’ve been so afraid of is already taken care of and God is making the way to restoration and healing.

How much longer are you going to run? How much longer are you going to try and fix this on your own. Sit here and wrestle this out with God. He will cover you in grace, change your identity, and bless you with an outcome you could have never created on your own.

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