How do you handle that?

Well, according to God’s word, you do the opposite of what you want to do. What you want to do is talk about them. You want to tell everyone your side of the story. You want to be vindicated. You want the world to turn against them and stand behind you. But Paul says here, “Don’t curse them.” Paul’s not talking about putting a hex on someone, he’s talking about your ill wishes for them. The way you talk about them. Don’t curse them with your words. Don’t spew negativity about them. Stop trying to rally the troops so everyone else is against them. No, no, no – isn’t that what they have done to you?

Paul also says later in Romans 12, verse 17, “Never repay evil with more evil.” It’s wrong of them to talk about you, and it would be wrong of you to talk about them. Don’t do it. Just stop it.

It’s crazy how hard it is to control that, though isn’t it? There are certain stories of how incredibly wrong people have been to me that are almost fun to tell. It makes the other person look so totally absurd and it makes me feel good after what they tried to do to me. No, no, no, Pamela – God is not impressed. Stop it! I’m acting no better than them when I’m retelling the story to make them look bad.

Instead, here’s what we’re supposed to do: Pray that God will bless them. Woah, now that’s over the top! That’s a radical shift. Could you even do that?

For the sake of helping us all relate, let’s give this person a name. The person who is wrong, the person who is aggressively chasing you, trying to take something from you, the person who is talking about you and attacking you, the person making your life hard, let’s say their name is “Fool.” The bible often uses the term ‘Fool’ to refer to someone who is being ridiculous, so that’s the name we will give them today. They are your ‘Fool’.

Imagine for a moment instead of retelling the stories of how wrong Fool has been, how mean Fool has been, how Fool makes you feel so angry and so hurt, that instead, you start praying that God would bless and help Fool.

If you’re dealing with a real ‘Fool’ in your life, you may have felt your whole body just pull back in resistance. The more you felt that, the more attached you are to that negative feeling of fighting against ‘Fool’, and really the more hold they have over your life. YOU DON’T WANT THAT! God doesn’t want that. You need this!

So, right now, let’s just start. Again, I’m going to insert the name ‘Fool’, but you know who your persecutor is. You know who is making your life hard. You know who is talking about you. You know who makes you feel this way. Right now, let’s pray for them.

Lord, in obedience to your word, we want to stop the cycle of hurt and evil. We no longer want to be part of the continual talk and attacks. God, we don’t want to fight back. Father, bless my ‘Fool’. Bless the one who has hurt me. Bless the one who talks about me. Bless the one who has been ugly to me. Bless the one who has been unfair. Pull them in to you, cover them with your grace, heal what is hurting in them, restore them to your beautiful design and set their feet on your intended path. Today, unleash your undeniable blessings on them. Shower them with your goodness. Even while it is hard for me to speak these words, I release my feelings and emotions to you. I trust you God. In the name of Jesus, amen.”

Do you feel the burden lifted off you? In this moment, you’re no longer carrying the heavy weight of anger, blame and bitterness. When you turn your ill feelings to prayers of blessing, something spiritual happens – you’re released!

Jesus actually tells a story in Matthew 18 of what happens when we refuse to bless and withhold our forgiveness for those who have done wrong against us. It’s called the Parable of the Unforgiving Debtor.

Starting in verse 21: Peter comes to Jesus and asks, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”

I love that Peter is suggesting he forgive seven times, because seven sounds really generous. But there has to be a limit, right? And Jesus says, “No, not seven times, but seventy times seven.” That’s 490. Does Jesus mean literally you forgive 490 times, but on the 491st offense, then you stop forgiving? No. He means you forgive more than you are capable of forgiving. You’re going to need to seek HIM for this level of offered forgiveness. It’s not even in you, you need the power of Jesus.

Then, Jesus begins telling a story of a King. This King had a servant who owed him millions of dollars. This man’s debt was so big, he could not pay the King, so he begged for mercy. So, the King forgave his debt and released him. But when this same man left, he found out one of his own servants owed him a few thousand dollars. When his servant begged him for mercy, he gave none. He had the man arrested and thrown into prison until his full debt could be paid. When the King heard about this man, whom he had forgiven for millions, had turned around and punished someone for owing him far less, the King sends him to prison to be tormented until his entire debt of millions could be paid.

And Jesus says in verse 35, “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive from your heart.”

Torment. You will be tormented when you carry around anger, bitterness and blame.

‘Fool’ isn’t tormented, YOU ARE. You carry around a burden you were never intended to carry. You create your own prison.

God has forgiven you for every single wrong you’ve ever committed. All those stupid years of doing epically stupid stuff, forgiven. All those wandering years of wandering down really bad paths, forgiven. And now you want to hold on to the hurt someone else has caused you? Really, you have no right to do that.

You have been forgiven of so many offenses – who are you to hold on to this offense of ‘Fool’? My sister, release them from that prison. When you do, you will be released from your own prison of torment.

The torment ends when you obediently pray blessings over them where you used to talk bad about them. The torment ends when you stop replaying their wrong and start trusting God to get it right.

I don’t have anyone nailing me to a cross, but I have people talking about me. I don’t have anyone trying to kill me, but I’ve had people try to make me look really bad. I don’t have anyone hurting me to a level even comparable to that, but I’ve had people do some pretty ugly things. If Jesus, in the middle of the injustice, in the middle of the attack, in the middle of his murder could say, “Father, forgive them, they don’t know what they are doing”, can’t I pray for my ‘Fool’.

They really don’t know what they are doing. They’re caught up in a whirlwind of confusion. They’re fighting something they don’t even know they’re fighting. They’re hurting. There’s something unhealed and wounded in them. They don’t need you to curse them, they desperately need you to pray for them. Lord, forgive them. Lord, bless them. Lord, I trust you with this.

Now, don’t confuse this – this doesn’t mean you have to move Fool back in. This doesn’t mean you go back to work for Fool or hire Fool onto the team. This doesn’t mean you fix Fool. This means you RELEASE Fool in forgiveness, you bless Fool and you trust God to heal every hurt and right every wrong.

When you release them, you are released. Your own prison doors are opened and you aren’t tormented with the replaying of the story and the continual preparing for the next battle. No, the battle is over. You’ve forgiven. The cycle of evil ends with you, because you won’t pay back that evil with more evil. Blessings will be spoken here.

That takes a really big faith to do that. And you may have to do it every single day. Heck, you may have to do it several times a day. But God doesn’t want you stuck in the prison of torment. He wants to set you free, but my sister, you hold that key. The key is, “Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them.”

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